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myself back, not when it comes to this type of shit. I had to endure crap like this from Jacob and I won’t be doing it anymore. Plus, I had every intention of explaining myself to him about why I pulled away from him when he tried to hold my hand.

Ruslan and Sascha advised me to after my last nightmare. I told them about my fears about my feelings for Michail. Now I’m not so sure I want to tell him anything, especially if this is the way he’s going to act.

God, why can’t I just stop being stupid enough to fall for men? I got into my relationship with Jacob because I was blinded by the darkness within him. As for Michail, he makes my heart do things it’s never done before and we’ve only had one date. One date, after months of barely speaking to each other here at Pins and Needles and my heart’s doing jumping jacks while my stomach is flopping around nervously. I’m so torn, not sure what I want to do. But I do know one thing, all I want is to stop feeling like I’m constantly being tormented. It’s a curse I pray that will one day be broken. If not, I don’t know how I’ll ever get through this.

Chapter Nine

Michail

“Today will be eventful, hmm?” Kronid asks as he peers up, looking at me past his newspaper. The tourists are beginning to flood in and now he’s sticking his nose back in local business. Considering the man works for Katya, I find it interesting he’s so curious to know what the press believes is going on in the city. People like us, we actually know what’s happening . . . but them, they only think they know. More times than not, they’re paid off by rich politicians looking to influence the people into either believing in them or fearing them.

“Yes, Marty will be here within the hour to meet Khristina.” I pray this man is going to treat her in a way she deserves to be treated. After the last time, I’m making it my personal mission to ensure she’s never put in the same type of position ever again. She could’ve died with her ex-husband, and I’m very well aware of how bad it could’ve been. We were so lucky she got back to us in time before anything worse happened.

“Good. How are you feeling about him coming all the way out here?”

I shrug and take a seat on the green couch in his office. “What am I supposed to feel? I only wish she doesn’t experience what she did before. Those are my feelings,” I speak clearly, not sure what else he wants me to say. Sometimes I think even he knows I hold a great deal of guilt over what happened to her, and as much as I want to forget it ever happened, I can’t do that. Kronid trusts me to help these women. While I’m his right-hand man, he puts a lot of trust in me when it comes to the women and dealing with some of Katya’s other . . . endeavors.

We’re getting another shipment of guns here in a few weeks and Kronid’s put me in charge of the operation. He’s told me a few times how he’s spoken highly of me to Katya and how one day he hopes I can move up in the ranks, but I’m not sure I want such a job. I’m happy doing what I do now and more importantly, it means I’m more likely to come home to my sister. At the end of the day, that’s what is most important to me. If she were to lose me, I fear what would end up happening to her.

A knock comes to the door, and Kronid looks to his monitor. “Andrei, come in,” he shouts toward the doorway, and Andrei comes in immediately, shutting the door behind him.

“Boss, a man is here. He’s downstairs and I have him waiting for you or Michail. I wasn’t sure who’d be meeting with him.”

“Thank you. Michail, if you wouldn’t mind planning this, I’d be appreciative. I have a call with Katya and Slasher in five minutes and I don’t want to be late.”

Immediately I rise. “It’s no problem at all. Andrei, my friend, take me to see this man,” I state, following Andrei as he walks us out of Kronid’s office and we head downstairs. Within a matter of minutes, I’m opening the doorway to the small room where the man is sitting down on a black couch.

“Marty, it’s good you made it.” Most would say it’s a pleasure to meet him, but what’s the point in lying? This is my job, not something I do for fun.

Marty nods eagerly, so much he ends up pushing the glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I couldn’t wait any longer. She’s so perfect and . . . I’m a bit excited. Am I able to meet her?” His eyes grow wide like an excited poodle and instantly, nausea begins to settle in my stomach. Call it a gut feeling, but something doesn’t feel right.

“Yes, one of my men is bringing her down now. But, while we wait, we shall talk as men do, hmm?” I declare.

“Sure, yes,” Marty comments.

“Your application said you were trying to make partner and hoped marrying a Russian wife would help with such a thing. You know these women are not for giving blowjobs to your colleagues, yes? They are your wife, to cherish until the end of time,” I state every word with a cold tone and watch his eyes. Eyes are the window to the soul and if the man’s lying, I’ll be able to tell rather quickly.

Marty draws his brows together for a moment like he has to come up with an answer for me, and again, it causes red flags to go up. “No, my wife will be for my

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