The Moonstone, Wilkie Collins [best motivational books of all time .TXT] 📗

nor answered. I made no second appeal to her; I never advanced an inch nearer to her chair. With a pride which was as obstinate as her pride, I told her of my discovery at the Shivering Sand, and of all that had led to it. The narrative, of necessity, occupied some little time. From beginning to end, she never looked round at me, and she never uttered a word.

I kept my temper. My whole future depended, in all probability, on my not losing possession of myself at that moment. The time had come to put Mr. Bruff’s theory to the test. In the breathless interest of trying that experiment, I moved round so as to place myself in front of her.

“I have a question to ask you,” I said. “It obliges me to refer again to a painful subject. Did Rosanna Spearman show you the nightgown. Yes, or no?”

She started to her feet; and walked close up to me of her own accord. Her eyes looked me searchingly in the face, as if to read something there which they had never read yet.

“Are you mad?” she asked.

I still restrained myself. I said quietly, “Rachel, will you answer my question?”

She went on, without heeding me.

“Have you some object to gain which I don’t understand? Some mean fear about the future, in which I am concerned? They say your father’s death has made you a rich man. Have you come here to compensate me for the loss of my Diamond? And have you heart enough left to feel ashamed of your errand? Is that the secret of your pretence of innocence, and your story about Rosanna Spearman? Is there a motive of shame at the bottom of all the falsehood, this time?”

I stopped her there. I could control myself no longer.

“You have done me an infamous wrong!” I broke out hotly. “You suspect me of stealing your Diamond. I have a right to know, and I will know, the reason why!”

“Suspect you!” she exclaimed, her anger rising with mine. “You villain, I saw you take the Diamond with my own eyes!”

The revelation which burst upon me in those words, the overthrow which they instantly accomplished of the whole view of the case on which Mr. Bruff had relied, struck me helpless. Innocent as I was, I stood before her in silence. To her eyes, to any eyes, I must have looked like a man overwhelmed by the discovery of his own guilt.

She drew back from the spectacle of my humiliation and of her triumph. The sudden silence that had fallen upon me seemed to frighten her. “I spared you, at the time,” she said. “I would have spared you now, if you had not forced me to speak.” She moved away as if to leave the room⁠—and hesitated before she got to the door. “Why did you come here to humiliate yourself?” she asked. “Why did you come here to humiliate me?” She went on a few steps, and paused once more. “For God’s sake, say something!” she exclaimed, passionately. “If you have any mercy left, don’t let me degrade myself in this way! Say something⁠—and drive me out of the room!”

I advanced towards her, hardly conscious of what I was doing. I had possibly some confused idea of detaining her until she had told me more. From the moment when I knew that the evidence on which I stood condemned in Rachel’s mind, was the evidence of her own eyes, nothing⁠—not even my conviction of my own innocence⁠—was clear to my mind. I took her by the hand; I tried to speak firmly and to the purpose. All I could say was, “Rachel, you once loved me.”

She shuddered, and looked away from me. Her hand lay powerless and trembling in mine. “Let go of it,” she said faintly.

My touch seemed to have the same effect on her which the sound of my voice had produced when I first entered the room. After she had said the word which called me a coward, after she had made the avowal which branded me as a thief⁠—while her hand lay in mine I was her master still!

I drew her gently back into the middle of the room. I seated her by the side of me. “Rachel,” I said, “I can’t explain the contradiction in what I am going to tell you. I can only speak the truth as you have spoken it. You saw me⁠—with your own eyes, you saw me take the Diamond. Before God who hears us, I declare that I now know I took it for the first time! Do you doubt me still?”

She had neither heeded nor heard me. “Let go of my hand,” she repeated faintly. That was her only answer. Her head sank on my shoulder; and her hand unconsciously closed on mine, at the moment when she asked me to release it.

I refrained from pressing the question. But there my forbearance stopped. My chance of ever holding up my head again among honest men depended on my chance of inducing her to make her disclosure complete. The one hope left for me was the hope that she might have overlooked something in the chain of evidence⁠—some mere trifle, perhaps, which might nevertheless, under careful investigation, be made the means of vindicating my innocence in the end. I own I kept possession of her hand. I own I spoke to her with all that I could summon back of the sympathy and confidence of the bygone time.

“I want to ask you something,” I said. “I want you to tell me everything that happened, from the time when we wished each other good night, to the time when you saw me take the Diamond.”

She lifted her head from my shoulder, and made an effort to release her hand. “Oh, why go back to it!” she said. “Why go back to it!”

“I will tell you why, Rachel. You are the victim, and I am the victim, of some monstrous delusion which