The Country Wife, William Wycherley [debian ebook reader txt] 📗
- Author: William Wycherley
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friend here. Therefore once more, let his honour go which way it will, dear madam.
Sparkish
Ay, ay; were it for my honour to marry a woman whose virtue I suspected, and could not trust her in a friend’s hands?
Alithea
Are you not afraid to lose me?
Harcourt
He afraid to lose you, madam! No, no—you may see how the most estimable and most glorious creature in the world is valued by him. Will you not see it?
Sparkish
Right, honest Frank, I have that noble value for her that I cannot be jealous of her.
Alithea
You mistake him. He means, you care not for me, nor who has me.
Sparkish
Lord, madam, I see you are jealous! Will you wrest a poor man’s meaning from his words?
Alithea
You astonish me, sir, with your want of jealousy.
Sparkish
And you make me giddy, madam, with your jealousy and fears, and virtue and honour. ’Gad, I see virtue makes a woman as troublesome as a little reading or learning.
Alithea
Monstrous!
Lucy
Well, to see what easy husbands these women of quality can meet with! a poor chambermaid can never have such ladylike luck. Besides, he’s thrown away upon her. She’ll make no use of her fortune, her blessing, none to a gentleman, for a pure cuckold; for it requires good breeding to be a cuckold. Aside.
Alithea
I tell you then plainly, he pursues me to marry me.
Sparkish
Pshaw!
Harcourt
Come, madam, you see you strive in vain to make him jealous of me. My dear friend is the kindest creature in the world to me.
Sparkish
Poor fellow!
Harcourt
But his kindness only is not enough for me, without your favour, your good opinion, dear madam: ’tis that must perfect my happiness. Good gentleman, he believes all I say: would you would do so! Jealous of me! I would not wrong him nor you for the world.
Sparkish
Look you there. Hear him, hear him, and do not walk away so. Alithea walks carelessly to and fro.
Harcourt
I love you, madam, so—
Sparkish
How’s that? Nay, now you begin to go too far indeed.
Harcourt
So much, I confess, I say, I love you, that I would not have you miserable, and cast yourself away upon so unworthy and inconsiderable a thing as what you see here. Clapping his hand on his breast, points at Sparkish.
Sparkish
No, faith, I believe thou wouldst not: now his meaning is plain; but I knew before thou wouldst not wrong me, nor her.
Harcourt
No, no, Heavens forbid the glory of her sex should fall so low, as into the embraces of such a contemptible wretch, the least of mankind—my friend here—I injure him! Embracing Sparkish.
Alithea
Very well.
Sparkish
No, no, dear friend, I knew it.—Madam, you see he will rather wrong himself than me, in giving himself such names.
Alithea
Do not you understand him yet?
Sparkish
Yes: how modestly he speaks of himself, poor fellow!
Alithea
Methinks he speaks impudently of yourself, since—before yourself too; insomuch that I can no longer suffer his scurrilous abusiveness to you, no more than his love to me. Offers to go.
Sparkish
Nay, nay, madam, pray stay—his love to you! Lord, madam, has he not spoke yet plain enough?
Alithea
Yes, indeed, I should think so.
Sparkish
Well then, by the world, a man can’t speak civilly to a woman now, but presently she says, he makes love to her. Nay, madam, you shall stay, with your pardon, since you have not yet understood him, till he has made an éclaircissement of his love to you, that is, what kind of love it is. Answer to thy catechism, friend; do you love my mistress here?
Harcourt
Yes, I wish she would not doubt it.
Sparkish
But how do you love her?
Harcourt
With all my soul.
Alithea
I thank him, methinks he speaks plain enough now.
Sparkish
To Alithea. You are out still.—But with what kind of love, Harcourt?
Harcourt
With the best and the truest love in the world.
Sparkish
Look you there then, that is with no matrimonial love, I’m sure.
Alithea
How’s that? do you say matrimonial love is not best?
Sparkish
’Gad, I went too far ere I was aware. But speak for thyself, Harcourt, you said you would not wrong me nor her.
Harcourt
No, so, madam, e’en take him for Heaven’s sake.
Sparkish
Look you there, madam.
Harcourt
Who should in all justice be yours, he that loves you most. Claps his hand on his breast.
Alithea
Look you there, Mr. Sparkish, who’s that?
Sparkish
Who should it be?—Go on, Harcourt.
Harcourt
Who loves you more than women titles, or fortune fools. Points at Sparkish.
Sparkish
Look you there, he means me still, for he points at me.
Alithea
Ridiculous!
Harcourt
Who can only match your faith and constancy in love.
Sparkish
Ay.
Harcourt
Who knows, if it be possible, how to value so much beauty and virtue.
Sparkish
Ay.
Harcourt
Whose love can no more be equalled in the world, than that heavenly form of yours.
Sparkish
No.
Harcourt
Who could no more suffer a rival, than your absence, and yet could no more suspect your virtue, than his own constancy in his love to you.
Sparkish
No.
Harcourt
Who, in fine, loves you better than his eyes, that first made him love you.
Sparkish
Ay—Nay, madam, faith, you shan’t go till—
Alithea
Have a care, lest you make me stay too long.
Sparkish
But till he has saluted you; that I may be assured you are friends, after his honest advice and declaration. Come, pray, madam, be friends with him.
Re-enter Pinchwife and Mrs. Pinchwife.
Alithea
You must pardon me, sir, that I am not yet so obedient to you.
Pinchwife
What, invite your wife to kiss men? Monstrous! are you not ashamed? I will never forgive you.
Sparkish
Are you not ashamed, that I should have more confidence in the chastity of your family than you have? You must not teach me, I am a man of honour, sir, though I am frank and free; I am frank, sir—
Pinchwife
Very frank, sir, to share your wife with your friends.
Sparkish
He is an humble, menial friend, such as
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