The Beast's Bluestocking (The Bluestocking War), Eva Devon [e textbook reader .TXT] 📗

father's machinations and that idiot con man who’d tried to take advantage of Felicity.

He had not been here to stop it.

Thank God, Augusta's husband had the power to end it.

“I am very sorry that you had to go through that, Philippa,” he said with genuine remorse. “Perhaps not marrying is a wise decision.”

Philippa scowled. “I didn't say I was never going to marry.”

Grey swallowed. He hated the idea of her marrying anyone at all. Which was exceptionally selfish. But there it was.

“Perhaps. . . I'll find you a husband,” he said suddenly, saying aloud the mad thought he’d had the day before. But she couldn’t just marry anyone.

He couldn’t allow herself to put herself at risk, could he?

Merrill coughed, looking suddenly perplexed.

“Don't be ridiculous,” she declared. “No one will find me a husband. I'm not interested in letting anyone dictate my future. If I need advice, though, of course I shall ask for it.”

He nodded, suppressing a smile even as his insides rioted with conflicting emotions.

He admired her for her determination and the fact that she was not going to hand her future over to him. Considering that he’d cut himself out of her life.

And now she forced her way into his.

It was most strange.

He wondered why she'd done it.

Had not the absence of his letters caused her enough consternation?

Why had that not been enough to drive her away? He focused on the pain in his leg, hoping that would distract him from pain of a very different kind.

He had hoped that the abrupt break in communication would ensure they’d never meet, but here she was standing before him discussing Captain Adams with Merrill.

It made so little sense.

The blasted truth was that he wanted to cross to her, take her into his arms, drive his hands into her hair, and kiss her for the rest of his life.

But he never could.

“I was just telling Merrill here that I'm going to return up to the castle,” he said with as little exaggeration as he could manage. “There's no point in my staying here if you're going to come and visit me every day for your duration.”

A pained looked crossed her face. “Forgive me. I don't mean to be such a nuisance, but I brought a few things for you.”

“Thank you,” he replied, his heart racing at her care, “but that's not necessary.”

Merrill crossed to her, smiling as if sensing his friend’s tension. “It is very kind of you to look after him. He doesn't allow it, you know, being looked after. I have to literally force him.”

Merrill winked but then said softly, “You should've seen the condition he was in after he was wounded on ship and what I had to do to help him return and heal. He thought he could do it on his own, don’t you know?”

Grey growled a warning “Merrill.”

Merrill gave him an overly innocent stare. “Yes, Grey?”

Philippa eyes sparked with interest. “I can imagine that he is very stubborn. And now he's a duke, so it is very difficult to gainsay him.”

“Indeed,” Merrill agreed enthusiastically as though he’d found an ally. “It is only our brotherhood as fellow officers that has made it possible for me to tell him anything at all. He even outranked me aboard ship, you know?” Merrill grinned and said conspiratorially, “So I understand how to maneuver him without upsetting him too much.”

Grey folded his arms over his chest. “I’m right here, and one wouldn't know you’d managed it by how you're behaving right now.”

Merrill gave him a cheeky grin.

“Now what have you brought?” Grey asked, determined to change the subject.

She drew in a fortifying breath. “Well, I thought a picnic could be nice outside. Fresh air is remarkable for one’s constitution. And I also brought this bottle of a particular oil made from specific plants that improve scarring. I thought it might ease some of the wounds.”

Her hopeful face nearly crushed him. A picnic and a bit of oil? She was so kind. Even with her father, she’d not been exposed to the true brutality of this life. Did she truly think. . .?

He shook his thoughts away and said gently, “It is very kind of you, but your help isn’t necessary. I shall be returning to the castle later today, and I’ll see you at dinner. As soon as your visit is done, that will be the end of our encountering each other, Philippa. Do you understand?”

Her face paled as she studied his resolved appearance. “I understand,” she said. “I should never wish to force my presence on anyone.”

Grey swallowed back a wave of self-loathing. He hated hurting her. But this couldn’t continue. “Isn't that what you're doing now?”

Merrill looked like a dog who had witnessed a horrible crime and wished to run away from the room at that.

Philippa gasped, but then her face grew stern. “I should thank you for your honesty and for the fact that you wish to be so absolutely clear in our relationship. Forgive me for my attempt at kindness. I miscalculated my assistance.”

With that she gave a sharp curtsy and whirled around, leaving them both stunned by the magnificence of her exit.

“That was a bit hard done,” Merrill whispered in the wake of her absence.

“It needs to be hard done,” he ground out, more self-loathing coating him. “I don't want her thinking that she can soften me.”

“Can't she?” Merrill asked quietly. “It might be good for—”

“No,” he cut in. “I was soft before and that got me into this mess. There's not a chance in hell that I can allow it. We need to focus. We need to get this done and get Captain Adams sorted.”

Merrill nodded. “But what about the future? Are you not to allow any sort of happiness in your life then?”

“Happiness,” Anthony scoffed. “Happiness is for fools. Revenge? Getting things done? That's for me.”

Chapter 7

Night fell fast and dark.

She felt like a fool.

Perhaps she was a fool.

Good God.

Pippa cringed as she stared out the window, trying to catch a