New Grub Street, George Gissing [10 best books of all time TXT] 📗

spiritual tormentor to take an interest in their endless games, and to observe their visages until he knew every line with a hateful intimacy. One of the men had a moustache of unusual form; the ends curved upward with peculiar suddenness, and Reardon was constrained to speculate as to the mode of training by which this singularity had been produced. He could have shed tears of nervous distraction in his inability to turn his thoughts upon other things.

On alighting at his journey’s end he was seized with a fit of shivering, an intense and sudden chill which made his teeth chatter. In an endeavour to overcome this he began to run towards the row of cabs, but his legs refused such exercise, and coughing compelled him to pause for breath. Still shaking, he threw himself into a vehicle and was driven to the address Amy had mentioned. The snow on the ground lay thick, but no more was falling.

Heedless of the direction which the cab took, he suffered his physical and mental unrest for another quarter of an hour, then a stoppage told him that the house was reached. On his way he had heard a clock strike eleven.

The door opened almost as soon as he had rung the bell. He mentioned his name, and the maidservant conducted him to a drawing-room on the ground-floor. The house was quite a small one, but seemed to be well furnished. One lamp burned on the table, and the fire had sunk to a red glow. Saying that she would inform Mrs. Reardon at once, the servant left him alone.

He placed his bag on the floor, took off his muffler, threw back his overcoat, and sat waiting. The overcoat was new, but the garments beneath it were his poorest, those he wore when sitting in his garret, for he had neither had time to change them, nor thought of doing so.

He heard no approaching footstep but Amy came into the room in a way which showed that she had hastened downstairs. She looked at him, then drew near with both hands extended, and laid them on his shoulders, and kissed him. Reardon shook so violently that it was all he could do to remain standing; he seized one of her hands, and pressed it against his lips.

“How hot your breath is!” she said. “And how you tremble! Are you ill?”

“A bad cold, that’s all,” he answered thickly, and coughed. “How is Willie?”

“In great danger. The doctor is coming again tonight; we thought that was his ring.”

“You didn’t expect me tonight?”

“I couldn’t feel sure whether you would come.”

“Why did you send for me, Amy? Because Willie was in danger, and you felt I ought to know about it?”

“Yes⁠—and because I⁠—”

She burst into tears. The display of emotion came very suddenly; her words had been spoken in a firm voice, and only the pained knitting of her brows had told what she was suffering.

“If Willie dies, what shall I do? Oh, what shall I do?” broke forth between her sobs.

Reardon took her in his arms, and laid his hand upon her head in the old loving way.

“Do you wish me to go up and see him, Amy?”

“Of course. But first, let me tell you why we are here. Edith⁠—Mrs. Carter⁠—was coming to spend a week with her mother, and she pressed me to join her. I didn’t really wish to; I was unhappy, and felt how impossible it was to go on always living away from you. Oh, that I had never come! Then Willie would have been as well as ever.”

“Tell me when and how it began.”

She explained briefly, then went on to tell of other circumstances.

“I have a nurse with me in the room. It’s my own bedroom, and this house is so small it will be impossible to give you a bed here, Edwin. But there’s an hotel only a few yards away.”

“Yes, yes; don’t trouble about that.”

“But you look so ill⁠—you are shaking so. Is it a cold you have had long?”

“Oh, my old habit; you remember. One cold after another, all through the accursed winter. What does that matter when you speak kindly to me once more? I had rather die now at your feet and see the old gentleness when you look at me, than live on estranged from you. No, don’t kiss me, I believe these vile sore-throats are contagious.”

“But your lips are so hot and parched! And to think of your coming this journey, on such a night!”

“Good old Biffen came to the station with me. He was angry because I had kept away from you so long. Have you given me your heart again, Amy?”

“Oh, it has all been a wretched mistake! But we were so poor. Now all that is over; if only Willie can be saved to me! I am so anxious for the doctor’s coming; the poor little child can hardly draw a breath. How cruel it is that such suffering should come upon a little creature who has never done or thought ill!”

“You are not the first, dearest, who has revolted against nature’s cruelty.”

“Let us go up at once, Edwin. Leave your coat and things here. Mrs. Winter⁠—Edith’s mother⁠—is a very old lady; she has gone to bed. And I dare say you wouldn’t care to see Mrs. Carter tonight?”

“No, no! only you and Willie.”

“When the doctor comes hadn’t you better ask his advice for yourself?”

“We shall see. Don’t trouble about me.”

They went softly up to the first floor, and entered a bedroom. Fortunately the light here was very dim, or the nurse who sat by the child’s bed must have wondered at the eccentricity with which her patient’s father attired himself. Bending over the little sufferer, Reardon felt for the first time since Willie’s birth a strong fatherly emotion; tears rushed to his eyes, and he almost crushed Amy’s hand as he held it during the spasm of his intense feeling.

He sat here for a long time without speaking. The warmth of the chamber had