The Job (Auctioned), Cara Dee [ebook reader wifi TXT] 📗

I was so fucked. All the distance I’d put between us, the armor I’d hammered into place—all of it—just disintegrated into the tiniest of fragments. No panic or dread. I was just resigned to do whatever it took to make him feel better, and that included telling him why I’d begged him to make me that promise all those years ago.

Fuck. I could already feel my head spinning. I wasn’t gonna be able to get back to sleep, so I might as well call him.

I grabbed my phone again and clicked on his number. Then I rolled onto my back and blinked sleepily.

“Why are you up this early?” was how he answered the call.

I yawned. “Been on pins and needles to hear back from you.” The faintest vibration from my phone had captured my attention instantly since he’d walked out of here.

“You could’ve just texted that I have your word,” he said.

I could’ve.

“I’mma tell you something first,” I murmured drowsily. I knew just where to begin, too, because it’d been on my mind a lot lately. “You remember that we always went to Giordano’s for pizza after a gig. I remember that we usually hit up a club afterward, and it never took many drinks before you had some bunny in your lap. And if you think, Boone, you can figure out why I didn’t wanna see you with anyone.”

For years after I figured out I was drawn to him, it still wasn’t a problem to see him with a chick, partly because it never seemed serious, and partly because I’d been thinking with my cock at the time. I was too busy making rounds in the gay community. But then one time in Reno, I’d walked in on him screwing Tia, Ace’s mom. A few years before she’d been born. And I’d fuckin’ lost it. Completely flipped my shit. Because it was suddenly serious. My position as Boone’s closest friend and brother-in-arms was threatened, ’cause we worked a lot with Tia. We teamed up often and became very close. She was the perfect decoy when we robbed old rich guys blind.

I’d made it about work. The rage I hadn’t been able to contain, I blamed on work. I said it was fucking stupid to jeopardize our focus by getting laid while we were working together. They thought I was overreacting, that it was nothing, that it was just sex, no strings, no attachment—didn’t matter to me. I couldn’t unsee them. The jealousy had blazed through me, and I’d known I was beyond screwed.

It was the first time I’d asked him to promise me never to bring a woman around when I was nearby. I just couldn’t stomach watching it.

Once we’d cooled off, he’d agreed, without understanding why it mattered that much to me.

“No, I can’t figure it out,” Boone said after a moment’s silence. “I’ve fuckin’ tried, Case.”

Could he be that blind? Nearing the end, when I’d felt myself approaching my breaking point, I hadn’t been subtle. I’d been downright possessive of him. I’d lied in order to spend more time with him too—away from others. He’d suggested a bar; I’d told him I wasn’t feeling too hot and that we should stay in and watch movies. He’d invited me to a party; I’d derailed him with an out-of-the-blue trip to LA because he loved going to the beach. He’d proposed a gig with some woman he’d fucked in the past; I’d made up a bullshit excuse about it being too risky.

The jealousy had festered to the point where I’d felt genuinely ill.

“Try harder,” I replied quietly. “If a woman told you not to see another woman, you’d suspect jealousy, wouldn’t you?”

I heard him opening the patio door in the background. A beat later, I heard the flick of a lighter being lit. It wasn’t often he smoked cigarettes, and Ma wouldn’t allow weed at home.

“You’re not some woman,” he said.

“Astute observation, big brother.”

Every other time I’d thought about coming clean to him, I’d been filled with panic. Now, nothing remotely close to it. My breaths came out steady, my pulse wasn’t spiking, nausea wasn’t crawling up my throat.

I guess, in a way, I’d run out of things to lose. Only Ace mattered as much as Boone’s well-being. The rest was secondary.

“Case…”

He got it now, didn’t he?

I swallowed. Nervousness flared up and rattled around, but I could live with that.

“The last time really fucking hurt.” I stared up at the ceiling and couldn’t stop the memories from four years ago from rushing back. “You did that on purpose.” They hadn’t even been screwing. I’d been working late, Ace had spent the night at Ma’s place, and I’d come home to find Boone getting head on the couch from a downstairs neighbor.

Good times.

He’d known exactly when I was due home.

“Jesus Christ.” His voice sounded raw, like he’d been chain-smoking for fifty years instead of one smoke every now and then. “I wish I’d known, Case. I was… Fuck. I was dealing with my own shit back then, and I wanted to make sure you didn’t think— I don’t know. My head’s a mess. And I guess it’s been a mess for a while.”

Make sure I didn’t think what?

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he murmured. “I’m sorry I lost you.”

Those words packed a punch harder than I was equipped to deal with right now. I didn’t wanna dwell. In fact, I was suddenly itching to change the topic. I’d told him the truth. It was out there now. Maybe if he understood me better, we could figure shit out.

“You didn’t lose me permanently,” I said, clearing my throat. “We’ll find a way that works for both of us, okay? I want you to feel better—that’s my priority.” I paused and decided we’d had enough of the heavy now. I didn’t like getting all serious. “Breakfast is another priority. When you’re done moping because you stuck your tongue down your brother’s throat, swing by