Ascension, Bailey Bradford [best novel books to read .txt] 📗

“Did I mean—” Ro had a flash then, a bright and embarrassing moment of his confession to Conner. “Uh.” God, how did he answer that without being an asshole?

Conner’s hands stilled on his backside as Conner looked away. The moonlight painted his profile silver and gray, accentuating the cut of Conner’s cheekbone. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have brought it up. You were scared and—”

“Conner.” Ro framed Conner’s face in his hands, turning that handsome man’s gaze back on him. “I don’t know about love, because I don’t know you, not really. But I’ve had a crush on you for half my life.” He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Well, and now, too. You’re… Look, I compared every man I met to you, you know. I wanted you to come visit me like you did Laine and Sev, wanted your attention. You never gave it to me, then… Then you did, and I hoped… But I didn’t see you again. I thought you were mad at me for snooping or something, and it hurt.” Ro laughed at how ridiculous he sounded, like a kid instead of a man.

“It’s all right. I just haven’t had anyone tell me that and I thought you were just babbling anyway.”

But Ro could tell Conner was disappointed.

“I wasn’t mad at you, either,” Conner continued. “I mean, seeing that stuff, yeah it bothered me, but not because I was mad at you. I didn’t want you looking at those articles and pitying me. The fact is, except for my death, I had a really good life.”

Ro arched an eyebrow at Conner. “Well, I would think that the death part would never be good. I didn’t enjoy it.” He barely repressed a shudder. “I felt like every nerve ending in my body was throbbing with agony, then it just quit, and you were there, and I died.”

Conner tipped his chin and began caressing Ro’s butt again. “Yeah, but it took me several hours to die, Ro. I’m not saying it was less painful for you, but the time it was dragged out—I don’t like thinking about that, or remembering when Laine found me. That was even worse almost than being carved up. My life until then was good, though. I wish I’d been brave enough to come out, but I wasn’t, and if I had been, I would have lost Laine sooner, or never even had him.”

“Why did you stay away from me then?” Ro asked.

“Because I was ashamed. I thought, here’s this man I’ve watched grow from a cute, awkward teenager into this sexy, sleek guy.” Conner smiled a little, one side of his mouth tipping higher than the other. “I tried not to think about you, but for the first time in ages, I got hard. I wanted you, but what was the point to that?” Conner shrugged. “Looking at the picture of me you had, there was just a lot of things that hit me. Then your mother passed away, and she went right up. I knew I didn’t want to go where she went. I wasn’t—” Conner stopped, took a deep breath then let it go. “I’m not ready to go anywhere. I want to be right here, watching over my friends, the people I love, even if it hurts to see them growing old, to know they’ll die and I may not ever see them again then.”

Conner brought one hand up to cup Ro’s chin. “And it hurt like a mother to find you being fucked by some guy in the alley.”

Ro had thought he’d felt like a slut before, but hearing that Conner had seen him letting JD use him was absolutely mortifying. He squirmed and tried to wiggle free. Ro wished he knew how to make himself disappear. Surely spirits could do that. All he wanted was to hide away, like in a closet or attic somewhere.

“Fuck!” he yelped as he went from looking at Conner’s neck and chin to total darkness. “Fuck, what’d I do?” Don’t panic, don’t panic! I’m a damn ghost, spirit—whatever! What could possibly hurt me now?

Despite that logic, Ro was in full freak-out mode seconds later. He couldn’t see, everything was black, so black his eyeballs ached from straining to pick out even a hint of where he was. The air was hot around him, and, even though he knew intellectually that he couldn’t suffocate, his body—corporeal or not—hadn’t got the memo.

Ro kicked and slapped at the darkness. He thought he touched something but it wasn’t firm enough to give resistance so he figured he was imagining it. He tried to yell, but fear clawed at his throat, then bands of steel were around his waist and the scream tore free—but it didn’t make a sound.

Chapter Eight

“It’s just me, Ro, it’s just me,” Conner said quietly into Ro’s ear as he kissed the curve of it. “Ro, it’s okay.”

“Can’t breathe,” Ro rasped out.

Conner started to argue that but decided it’d just be quicker to remove them from the small enclosure. When Ro had popped away from him, Conner had been astounded. It’d taken him a while to learn that trick. Then it dawned on him that Ro probably didn’t know that trick, and most likely was freaking the fuck out because he’d just vanished and reappeared somewhere else.

It had only taken him seconds to concentrate and locate Ro’s position. Leave it to Ro to have zapped himself into Sev’s attic. Dusty, dark and hotter than hell, it’d give anyone fits. If Ro hadn’t panicked, he might have recognized where he was, but he had panicked, and now Conner had his arms full of clingy, sexy man again.

Conner took them both to an open meadow made into an almost magical-looking place by the moonlight. He laid them atop the swaying grass, willing them to have some weight so that the tall strands bent under them.

Ro wouldn’t look at him, just held onto Conner and buried his face