The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance, Giulia Lagomarsino [acx book reading .txt] 📗

“But it’ll be laminated,” I added quickly.

Florrie snickered in the back seat.

“I don’t get it. If it’s not legally binding, and you can’t actually enforce it, then what’s the point of it?”

Rocco chuckled slightly. “He’d like to know the point of it.”

I laughed along with Rocco, both of us having fun laughing at his expense. Florrie just shook her head in the back.

“Yeah, I would,” Milo said, obviously confused as to how all this worked.

“You know what? We’re at your house now. How about you just keep your mouth shut and see if we can talk your wife out of trying to have you assassinated. Sound good, cupcake?”

The man frowned, and we all got out, but the minute Milo stepped out, gunfire erupted from a second story window. Milo cried out and collapsed on the ground. I picked him up and shoved him back in the SUV, slamming his door.

Turning with an all-knowing power, I slowly raised my head and narrowed my eyes at the top floor window where the gunfire was coming from. Holding up my hand, I shouted, “Stop right now!”

I saw the twinkle in her eyes, and I thought for just a minute that my eyes were playing tricks on me, but then she fucking fired her gun. Eyes wide, I dove to the side and covered my head.

“I just came to fucking talk to you!” I shouted.

“Fuck off,” she yelled back.

“Hey, lady! I’m a security agent, and I could kill you with the flick of my wrist. I strongly suggest you stand the fuck down!”

“And I strongly suggest you get off my property before I count to three, or I’m putting a bullet between your eyes!”

I stood slowly, standing tall. I was a fucking warrior and I wasn’t going to be threatened by a civilian like her.

“One!”

Rocco rolled down the window. “What the fuck are you doing? Get in the goddamn SUV!”

“She won’t shoot me,” I said confidently.

“Two!”

“I’m pretty sure she’s about to put a bullet in you,” Rocco shouted.

“No,” I whispered. “She just needs someone to stand up to her.”

Florrie leaned out the window. “She needs to let out some tension, and you’re standing out there like a fucking target!”

“Three!”

I closed my eyes, holding my hands wide. I felt like Dr. Strange or something right now. I was in the zone. I could practically feel her uncertainty swirling around me. She didn’t want to shoot me. I just had to believe that, and everything would be fine.

Bullets pinged all around me, one of them striking me in the arm. My eyes flew open as I turned and flung the SUV door open, jumping inside.

“She fucking shot me!”

“She shot me too,” Milo cried.

“Yeah, but you’re her husband. I’m just a guy coming to help.”

“She did warn you,” Florrie said, glancing down at her nails as bullets continued to hit the vehicle.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think she would actually shoot me! Look at this. My favorite shirt, torn to shreds.”

Rocco fingered the bloody hole in my shirt sleeve. “It’s just the arm. You could just cut the sleeve off.”

“Oh, like that’s the same. Then I’m just a dumbass walking around with one shirt sleeve.”

“You’re also the dumbass that stood outside with his arms spread wide while a crazy woman fired at you,” Florrie pointed out.

“I just didn’t think she’d actually do it,” I said to myself. “I swore, I could feel her energy all around me. She didn’t want to shoot me.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Milo said, “she was never a very good shot.”

I slowly turned and glared at him. “That does not make me feel better. That means she really wanted to kill me, but just didn’t have good aim.”

He shrugged. “But you’re still alive. And hey, this was my best work shirt. At least yours is just a t-shirt.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Just a t-shirt? This is my Friday shirt. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

He looked at the plain black t-shirt and frowned. “Um…get another black t-shirt?”

I was about to reach over the seat and throttle the fucker, but just as I lunged, Rocco pulled me back.

“Alright, let’s just cool down here for a minute. Obviously, we can’t just keep protecting Milo from his wife that wants to kill him because of stupid shit.”

I glared at him. “Just what the fuck did you do to her?”

“Nothing! I mean, nothing a normal person doesn’t do.”

Bullets continued to ping off the SUV, and I pulled out my phone. “Put her number in there.”

“She shot me!” he cried, holding onto his arm. I pulled his hand away and rolled my eyes. “That’s a minor wound. When I was trying to win my woman over, I was shot in the shoulder to prove my love for her. Then, I was shot in the foot, the leg, and the ass, all to win her back. You can deal with one small graze.”

His eyes widened. “You’re crazy.”

I tilted my head from side to side. “That’s debatable. Crazy for her, for sure. But actually off my rocker? No, they wouldn’t let me play with guns if I was.”

“Let me handle this,” Florrie said, taking the phone from me. Milo rattled off the numbers and she put the phone to her ear as it rang. “Mrs. Caselli, my name is Florrie, and I’m working protection for your husband…Why? Because you’re trying to have him assassinated…Yes, I know men are stupid…Yes, I understand that. All we’re asking is for a few minutes of your time to get to the heart of the problem…No, I’m not a marriage counselor, but if you need to let off some steam, I would be happy to take you out shooting.”

“What? Don’t give her training!” Milo shouted.

Florrie reached across the seat and shoved her gun right in his face. He shut up immediately.

“Right, I get it. Men are beyond stupid. How about we come inside and see if we can work this out. Besides, if you don’t work with us