Jase, Fields, J. [story reading TXT] 📗

trying like crazy to not think of Christmas. I didn’t want to go to Jersey, I didn’t want to chance running into what’s his name.

It was the last day of class and I’d offered to drive Brad to the airport and he accepted. We planned to go to dinner before I dropped him off.

We sat quietly eating, when I broke the silence, “Are you excited to see your sisters?”

“I am and are you excited about going back to New Jersey?” He looked up nervously and then back down.

“No. I’ll be glad to hang out with Cameron but my dad’s friend will probably become a fiancée that’s normally when it happens at Christmas,” I smiled and sat back.

“Are you concerned with anything else?”

“Nope,” I looked down at my watch, “Except getting you to the airport on time.”

Brad asked that I just drop him at the curb. He didn’t want me to have to waste any time. He leaned over and kissed me, “Call me if you need me, okay?”

That was a sweet kiss, “You’ll do the same?” I leaned over and kissed him.

“Of course,” Brad kissed me softly again and got out. He leaned back in and grabbed his bag, “See you in a month?”

I smiled, “Of course.”

I watched him walk into the airport waiting to feel some sort of panic. Waiting for those emotions to kick in, to miss him already. When they didn’t, I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. We had spent almost every day for over two months together and I couldn’t even make myself produce a tear! I decided it was because I had read way too many books about over-emotional heroines, books-- not real life, I reminded myself. I trusted Brad, that’s why I was not upset. He and I were good for each other.

6

Cameron picked me up from the airport. He told me Dad had gone with Barbie, (rat terrier’s owner) to visit her family but would be back tomorrow. I was immediately pissed that my Mom was home alone another day through the Christmas season and I could have been with her. I would have stayed one more day back home if I had known that. It was bad enough that I had to stay here for two weeks dealing with Barbie.

We walked into the house and that dog ran up growling, “They couldn’t take that thing with them?”

Cameron laughed, “Apparently not.”

I looked around and saw the Christmas tree decorated. Dad had always waited for us to do it. Upon further inspection I realized none of our decorations adorned the tree this year, further fueling my anger.

“Nice tree,” I scowled at Cameron.

“No big deal, Carly,” Cameron wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “Hey I have something to do for a few hours, you mind?”

“No, go ahead,” I smiled and he kissed me and left.

So there I stood in the house alone. I took a picture of the tree and sent it to Mom and then I called to let her know I was here safely.

“You alright?” she answered.

“Yeah, I’m just fine,” I am sure I sounded annoyed. “I really hope she didn’t make him get rid of all those decorations.”

Mom must have heard me rummaging through the boxes in the basement.

“What are you doing Carly?”

“Looking for the decorations…SCORE!” I laughed when I found the bin.

“Carly, maybe you should talk to Dad before putting them on that lovely…”

“Lovely, the damn thing is perfect. Perfectly cold, and plain, and not at all what Christmas is about, or wants… until now. You and Dad fought over these decorations, and I will be damned…”

“Carly, maybe you should just let it go,” Mom suggested.

“Yeah sure,” I said as I dragged the box up the stairs, “Alright mom, I will talk to you later, I love you.”

“Carly, please enjoy yourself,” it was a plea, not a directive so I got to choose.

~

I was walking down the snow covered side walk dragging a four foot straggled looking tree behind me when I heard a vehicle stop. I know how pathetic I looked. It was worse than Charlie Brown’s tree but I would be damned if this tradition was taken away by that bitch. It wasn’t easy, even a four foot tree with barely any branches was heavy in this wet snow.

“Can I help you?”

I didn’t even have to turn around, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end as the sound of his voice tickled my ear drums. I shook my head no and walked faster.

“I have a truck miss it won’t be a problem,” he called after me.

He had no idea who I was and I walked faster. The damn tree snagged on something, jerked me backwards and, OF COURSE… I ended up on my ass.

“Let me help you,” he grabbed my arm and pulled me up.

“Thanks,” I turned away hoping the scarf was still covering my face.

“Carly?”

Stupid, stupid, scarf, stupid, stupid tree. I forced myself to turn around and face him.

“Hello Jase,” I looked up and his face fell.

“You’re here, I mean you’re in Jersey. Carly you look so…”

“Please don’t,” I pried my eyes away from his and grabbed the trunk of the tree.

“Carly don’t be a pain in the ass. You’re four blocks away from your Dad’s,” he grabbed the tree and tried to pull it away. I held on. “Baby, just…”

“Don’t baby me, Jase,” and my freaking voice cracked and he let go of the tree and grabbed me pulling me tightly into his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he rubbed my back, “I never meant to hurt you.”

I said nothing and I know I should have pulled away, but it felt so good to have him hold me. He lifted my chin and kissed me softly, “I’ve missed you.”

I would not return his kiss. I will not return his kiss. I will not… damn. I didn’t even have to kiss him back. I just let him kiss me, let him stroke his tongue against mine. He pulled back,