A New Dream, Maggie Ford [books to read romance txt] 📗

the missing. Despite what her mother had said, she’d risked writing to one or two about her changed circumstances in order to escape the deep embarrassment of telling them face to face.

Not one had replied. Those friends who had willingly come to console her on the death of her father had shied away from offering sympathetic support in her new plight, quite obviously fearing being asked for monetary help – something she would never have dreamed of doing.

Stephanie had had the same reaction from her own friends, leaving her taken aback and bitter. ‘I hate them,’ she had burst out to Julia. ‘If I never see any of them again it won’t upset me.’

But she was upset; they were both upset, but said nothing to their mother. There was too much else to worry about – not least their financial situation. What little money they had would soon be gone. They’d been here just under a week and already Julia found the money dwindling far more quickly than she had expected. There was food to buy and money to be set aside for next week’s rent and all the weeks after that. Then, a few minutes ago, Virginia had come out from the living room with a small bag of toffees, her cheek bulging as she chewed.

Julia had turned from the kitchen sink where she’d been washing up the few discoloured dinner plates that had come with the flat. ‘Virginia, where did you get those from?’

The girl looked as if she’d been accused of grand theft. ‘Mummy let me have a penny to get them.’

A penny! Twelve pennies made one shilling! What was her mother thinking of? They needed every last penny they possessed to five on. Julia could have wept at the feeling of degradation that swept over her. Counting pennies! Never in her life could she have imagined it would come to this.

‘Mummy!’ she rounded on Victoria. ‘We can’t afford to go buying sweets. We have to be careful now.’

The uncomprehending look in her mother’s eyes as she stood helplessly with a tea towel in one hand and a plate in the other made it all too obvious to Julia that she had no real understanding of the plight they were in. Julia’s heart sank.

‘A child needs a few sweets,’ Victoria answered in a high, querulous voice. ‘She hasn’t had any for a whole week since we came to this awful place.’

‘That’s not the point!’ Julia was exasperated. ‘We don’t have that sort of money to waste any more.’ She addressed her mother with none of the filial respect that she would once have offered as a matter of course. She spoke now as if she were admonishing a thoughtless child. ‘Don’t you understand, Mummy? We need every penny we can find, just in order to live.’

‘But we have our jewellery, yours and mine and Stephanie’s,’ her mother protested, ‘though it grieves me to see it having to be sold, all my lovely jewellery. And it is valuable.’

Julia ignored her laments. ‘And how long will the money from that last?’ she demanded. ‘It’s not going to be easy to sell. I know how valuable it is, Mummy, but we’ll never get back what it is really worth. And when that’s gone, tell me, what do we rely on then?’

The confused expression on Victoria’s face brought her up sharply. The next moment she was holding her mother, words of contrition pouring from her.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I didn’t mean to hurt. But it’s all different now and we have to realize that. Someone has to think for us. James and Virginia are still too young. Stephanie is like you – she can’t get her mind round all that’s happened – and you’re still too full of grief and shock from losing Daddy to think about anything else.’

She leaned back to look into Victoria’s eyes while still holding her. ‘Who’s going to keep us together? It seems there is only me; and I have to make sure that what money we do have isn’t wasted on buying sweets and suchlike.’

Her mother had become unexpectedly reflective while Julia was speaking. Now she returned her daughter’s gaze. ‘All it might take is a pennyworth of sweets to help a child over this terrible sense of upheaval she has found herself thrown into,’ she replied in a quiet voice. ‘Don’t you think it worth that one small thing to help her over it, Julia?’

To that Julia had no answer except to realize that her mother in her quiet way was right. She felt suddenly subdued. Even so, they couldn’t continue in this way for long, lurching from one day to another with no notion of where they were going. A decision had to be made and she knew it would fall to her to make it. But to seem to be taking charge could cause more upsets and disruptions and even animosity than it was worth. Her head had begun to brim with ideas but she thought it might be best to let a few days elapse before putting them forward. And this time it was important not to allow emotions to get in the way; she must make it seem as if she was seeking advice from everyone rather than dictating to them.

‘Well, that wasn’t too bad a meal, was it?’ Julia said, trying to buck up everyone’s spirits as she and Virginia cleared away the empty dinner plates. Sausages, mashed potatoes and baked beans – something her mother would never have dreamed of having for dinner once upon a time; something she would have considered more suitable for Mrs Granby, Mary and the other servants.

‘It was so oily,’ she’d complained. ‘I’m sure it is going to disagree when I get to bed. I shall be up all night.’

‘Perhaps if you think of something else, Mummy,’ Julia suggested. ‘Perhaps clear the rest of the table, it might help you feel better.’

Instead her mother said, ‘I think I’ll