Ahead of his Time, Adrian Cousins [short story to read .txt] 📗

cheque handed over, and Jess would be off back to wherever she was squatting now.

“What d’you want to talk about? It’s all been said, hasn’t it?”

“I wanna talk about my father.”

“No, Jess. That subject is closed. It closed twenty years ago when you were born, and I’m not talking about him now.”

“Mum, I have a right to know who he is. I don't know anything about him, not even his name. I’m twenty-one this year, so I think it’s about time I knew who he was.” Jess stared at her mother’s emotionless eyes, unable to guess what was going through her cold-hearted mind.

Grace sneered again as she stared at her disappointing daughter. “I’m not talking about him.”

“You can’t keep him from me; it’s not fair. If you don’t help, I’ll find him anyway … whether you like it or not.” Jess stood and folded her arms. Merlyn sat staring up at her, licking his lips and yawning – she’d always hated cats.

“Well, good luck with that! He left the UK just after you were born. As I’ve repeatedly told you, he’s not worth knowing. Anyway, why now? You haven’t mentioned this for years.”

Jess scowled at the cat, pulled out a chair and plonked herself down. “Can I have a coffee?”

Grace huffed again, relit the stove and fished a cup from the mug tree, now really annoyed the conversation was going to be far longer than she’d hoped. Jess had always been a real handful and, along with monumentally screwing up her education, she’d buggered off at the age of eighteen to live God knows where. Not that Grace gave a toss as she wasn’t the maternal type. Jess had been a mistake with the one man she’d set up home with, and that was a long time in the past.

“I want to get to know him. You’re not interested, so it would be good to have one parent that cares.”

“How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!” Grace spun around with her hands on her hips and glared at her daughter. “I’m the one who brought you up. I’m the one who’s put up with all your antics over the years. I’m the one who works so hard to pay for your upbringing. And you, stupid girl … I’m the one who bails you out every few months because you can’t take responsibility for yourself!” Grace felt her blood rising and was in a good mind to tell her pointless daughter to bugger off. It certainly wasn’t her fault that Jess had turned out to be a useless no-hoper.

“Oh, come on! You never wanted me, and you brought me up because you had no choice. Don’t pull the old, my-mother-cares routine. That won’t wash with me—”

“No!” Grace leant across the table, cutting her daughter short, “You’ve no idea. You’re away with the fairies! Take some responsibility for God’s sake, girl!”

“What like you did with me? You washed your hands of me as soon as you could. You’re no mother … you’re a fucking robot!”

“Don’t you use that kind of language. You’re slipping into the gutter, girl.”

Both women leant across the table, their knuckles now white as they pressed their balled fists onto the Formica top. Merlyn hopped up onto the table and stood between them. He swished his head from side to side as he observed the ‘tennis match’andwaited to see who’s court the ball was now in.

Jess stood and huffed. “Oh, that fucking cat.” Rummaging in her coat pocket, she fished out a scrunched-up packet of Camel.

“Don’t smoke in here.” Grace lifted Merlyn, cuddled him and nuzzled her chin in his soft grey fur.

With tears forming in her eyes, Jess lit her cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. She’d become so emotional over the last few weeks which was so unlike her as she had her mother's steel-like persona and now struggled to understand this new feeling. Jess firmly believed her mother loved that bloody cat more than her own daughter.

“Did you ever love him?”

“Who?”

“My father! I’m not talking about the bloody cat as I know you love him!” She blew smoke at the cat that faced her, cuddled in her mother’s arms. Merlyn didn’t move, only slowly blinking as the smoke wafted around him.

Grace had loved him. Although they both were born in Fairfield, they hadn’t met before attending St Andrew’s University. The fact they both came from a small Hertfordshire town was the initial connection when they’d met in the student bar. She was in her first year, and he was completing his Masters – she quickly became besotted with him. The first year together had been bliss. They’d rented a small flat together and she’d never been happier. However, it went sour when he’d demanded a termination when she fell pregnant. They were too young, he’d said, and it would ruin their lives. Grace had wanted his child and the fairy-tale romance. After Jess was born the impasse between them eventually led to the relationship breaking down, and she was left holding the baby.

“No, I never loved him … he was a waster,” she lied.

Jess moved over to the window and flicked her ash in the sink.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Jess! This isn’t some squat … use an ashtray.”

Jess turned and looked at her mother as those annoying tears started to form again. She tried to blink them away and used her coat’s dirty fur sleeve to wipe her eyes.

Grace set Merlyn down on the floor and plucked up her pen to write out a cheque. She hesitated on the amount as she pondered whether three hundred pounds would be enough to quickly persuade Jess to leave, as she was now tired of this conversation. Tearing off the cheque that she’d made out to Jessica Redmond for three-hundred pounds, she turned and presented it to her.

Jess glanced at the cheque but didn’t take it.

Grace waved the cheque. “Take it. It’s what you came for.”

“No. I want to know about my father. That’s what I came for.”

Grace