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for something better.

Must. Stay. Positive.

I hit the arrow to the next message. It’s not the opportunity of a lifetime, but it catches my eye. Last week, I was feeling pretty lonely, so I went searching for a dog online. I downloaded an app that gave regular updates on breeders in the area. It had a no-puppy-mill promise, so I signed up.

On any other normal day, I would hit the spam button and banish it to the Google dungeons. Ever since I moved, however, those normal days haven’t existed. It would be pretty nice to have some life in this house.

I keep scrolling until I see a picture. It’s the most beautiful King Charles Cavalier puppy I’ve ever seen.

Something comes over me. It’s something like the combination of endorphins and expectations. It’s hard to explain, but it’s similar to the feeling of hope.

She’s adorable. She’s fluffy. I can tell she’s going to be so much fun. A small bundle of love that will give me more than any man in the greater Seattle area. I keep reading and feel my heart grow fonder.

“A beautiful King Charles with a heart of gold,” I whisper.

She’s precious. I’m tearing up, I’m that excited.

Jumping on the opportunity, I dial the phone number listed at the bottom of the spammed ad. I recognize the area code. 253. The seller must be somewhere in Tacoma. It’s a far drive from the city, but I feel like going on an adventure.

A rough voice answers the phone. “Yello?”

“Um, yeah, I just got an email about a puppy,” I say.

“Yeah? Okie.”

Clearing my throat, I push through the shaky introduction. “Well, I might want to adopt it...”

I’m still staring at the amber dog’s picture, and I have to admit, I’ve put more stock on this creature than any of my job applications. That being said, animals are a sore spot for me. I fall in love with just about every dog I see.

This one is special. We’re connected. I just know it.

The man on the other end of the line clears his throat so hard it sounds like his lungs give out for a minute. “Name?”

My heart rushes. Must buy dog! “Ali Greenwald,” I say.

“Not your name. The mutt. We’ve got a few dogs up for adoption, believe it or not,” he responds.

“Oh, uh.”

I scroll through the email until I see the name. “Ragamuffin.”

When it registers, I feel my heart pop out of my chest. My eyes fill with those candy hearts I swore I’d stay away from. My body turns to mush.

She’s so sweet…

The man clicks his tongue, and I hear the sound of fingers fumbling through sheets of paper. “Popular dog,” he grunts.

I’m holding my breath, waiting for some sign of good news.

And then a realization must hit him because his breath catches. “Actually, you know what? I just got a call about her yesterday. Businessman offered me double for her.”

Double? For a dog? Bullshit.

I nearly scream. “Who?”

The man chuckles, enjoying my suffering. “Well, I’m not at liberty to give you the names of other potential customers.”

My arm suddenly feels tired from holding the phone. “Oh. Right,” I mutter.

If this isn’t going to happen, there’s no use in forcing it. Another opportunity will come my way. Just like the teaching job. Just like all the men in my life. Just like every stupid Valentine’s Day holiday.

Another opportunity will come my way.

Wait a second. No. That’s not how life works.

You have to grab it by the balls and take action. Whoever this business man may be is unimportant. I’m going to beat him there and give this puppy a new home.

I use my jaw to keep the phone level. “Hold on a sec.”

Jumping out of bed, I reach under the dresser and pull out an old wooden jewelry case my mother gave me when I was younger. I open it and rest my eyes on the soft sight of money. By buying this dog, I’m digging into most of my savings. Doing that would be stupid, right? After all, missing out on a pet isn’t something that ends someone’s life.

What can I say? I’ve got my heart set on this cutie-patootie. Yes, I’m that lonely.

I count the bills. One. Two. Three. All the way to one-thousand.

After taking a deep breath, I weigh the pros and cons.

Pro: Dogs are loyal. They’re smart, but not too independent to get rid of you. Cons: I’ll have to train it. It might suck to clean its pee out of the carpet. I might not make rent this month...

Who am I kidding? I’d spend all my money to get this dog. There’s no stopping me.

I break the silence with a negotiation. “Look, I’ve had a shit year,” I say. “If I give you one hundred dollars more than the other guy, will you sell me her?”

A moment of silence catches me off guard, but I’ve got the money balled up inside my fist like it’s a drug deal gone wrong.

“That depends,” he says. “How fast can you get here?”

I check my watch. It’s still early. If I leave now, I’ll miss rush hour, but I can’t spare a moment longer.

“Give me thirty,” I say.

Marc

I’m in such a fucking rush.

I’ve got a rental property that needs a plumber, a meeting in an hour that I’m going to be late to, and to make matters worse, my kid is doing all she can to get on my nerves because of a simple mistake I made a few days ago. It shouldn’t be the end of the world, but trust me, it’s damn close.

Okay, maybe I screwed up. I spent too many days in the office. I missed her school play. In the matter of a day, I became the terrible dad people hate to watch in movies.

It happens.

A good father admits when he’s wrong. An even better father makes it up to their kid. I told my daughter I’d get her a kitten to cheer her up, and these eight year olds are tricky. She’s

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