Leaving Normal, Stef Holm [ebook reader screen .TXT] 📗

able to sense that something was wrong, but she was. Maybe it was because she had seen those same lines on her face while coming to the realization that her marriage was in trouble.

"No more than average." His eyes were a deep brown, not really an intense color, but very dark. "I've got to go. See you around."

Tony moved through the double-glass doors, feeling Natalie's gaze on his retreating back. He grew annoyed with himself by the transparency of his feelings—something she clearly saw, judging from the way she'd spoken to him. He never let his private emotions show on the job, yet here he was looking pathetic enough that his neighbor noticed.

The last few days had been hell, a chain reaction of events that left him numb. Kim hadn't denied her affair when he'd confronted her, and her subsequent admission of how long it had been going on was, in the end, inconsequential to him.

His marriage was over. The end had been a long time coming and now he was faced with a new set of uncertainties. Where was he going to live? What was going to happen to Parker?

For the past week, he and Kim set aside the chaos in their dissolved marriage for Parker's sake while Kim made arrangements to move out and in with her "boyfriend," a man Tony didn't know by name—didn't care to know by name. Kim would be taking Parker and the kitten with her. Tony had a hard time reconciling that. He had no legal claims on the little girl, but he loved her as if she were his own. He'd formed a bond with her, and yet the law said he had no rights. It was a hard truth to swallow.

He and Kim hadn't discussed divorce details. It was the unknown that unsettled Tony to a point of near distraction.

The down payment on their house had been made with his money, even though the title was in both their names. He regretted doing that; a stupid move of trust on his part. He was living in the home alone now, worried she would want her share of the equity, if not the entire house for herself. Tony knew he had to hire a lawyer, he just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

He filled the hours with overtime, taking shifts other than his own so the guys could spend the holiday week with their families. He hadn't told anyone at the station that his family had fallen apart.

Maybe in the deepest recesses of his mind he was in denial. At this point, even if Kim asked to take him back, he probably wouldn't. His reservations were too great. He could take the affair out of the equation and he'd still feel the same way. They'd just never been the right couple. He'd sort of known that from the start, but he'd turned a blind eye to his better judgment because he'd wanted to be married, to have a family. To be fair to Kim, he probably hadn't been there for her in the ways she needed.

Now he couldn't go back.

Tony climbed into the fire truck, flipped down the SCBA seat in the back and buckled himself in. Then he fit the heavy weight of the oxygen tank into his seat.

It was the dead of winter, the skies were a vibrant blue, not a cloud in them. The temperature was in the mid-forties and the parking lot was full of cars at the after-Christmas sales.

Tony slipped his headset on and listened to the captain talk into the microphone. Comments between the firemen were exchanged about the call, nothing significant for Tony to add to. He remained quiet, a rarity for him as he usually had a joke to tell.

As the driver turned over the engine, Tony rolled down the window. His skin felt hot in the turnout and he shrugged out of the coat and pulled off his fireproof hood.

The engine rolled forward, moving through the parking lot. The other two firefighters in front participated in a conversation while Tony gazed out the open window.

Little kids were getting out of a minivan, the mom smiling as the truck slowly drove past. A boy about ten years old waved with excitement; so did his siblings who were bundled up in winter coats. The mom joined in. They all waved and Tony waved back.

A part of him had always liked the attention, but public admiration wasn't what had made him want to be a fireman.

But right now, when he was filled with self-doubt, a part of him needed that assurance, needed to know he was a good guy.

Chapter Five

Whoops-a-Daisy

"Now, don't come unglued—but Dad had a minor accident with the van," Sarah said, walking into the floral shed where Natalie was arranging roses for a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

She dropped her work shears. "He what?"

"It's nothing and he's okay."

"Nothing!"

"He ran into the curb and all he did was puncture the tire."

Her breathing shallow, Natalie gasped, "What happened?"

"He swerved to avoid hitting a squirrel."

"Great! Better to hit the squirrel than to kill himself in an accident."

"But Natalie, he's all right. I'm heading out there and Steve's going to leave the office for a minute to go and change the tire."

"I should go."

"No, you stay here."

Sarah was walking back to the shop, Natalie following. The outside air was brisk with a bite to it. Once inside the cozy store, Natalie was picking up the phone.

"Don't you call him," Sarah cautioned, her eyes sending a warning glare. "I promised him you wouldn't."

"Well, I like that." Natalie set the receiver down. "He's driving my company van, and he's in an accident, and I'm concerned."

"He said you'd mother him and he wasn't in the mood."

Natalie was vaguely affronted and would have debated the issue if there hadn't been a modicum of truth to it. As the eldest daughter, and after Mom died, Natalie had taken on the role of making sure her father was nurtured and looked after—not that