Wine, Dine and Christmas Crimes, Maria Swan [best short novels of all time .TXT] 📗

Republic. The ad, I mean. Oh, you probably expected the listing agent, but Leslie, she’s the agent, Leslie Brown—we are from the same office you see—well, she’s still in Colorado, got hurt and...” I had reached the spot where they stood and was running out of creative BS.

“Open house?” Eve’s eyes were mere slits. “There isn’t going to be any open house. We need to talk to you, and we have a search warrant for the condo. Let’s go.”

I noticed that the official squad car was empty, so how did it get there?

“The officers are inside, waiting for us.” Adam must have been a mind reader. Ouch.

He pointed to the impressive glass door of the lobby, and I noticed Walter, the doorman, heading our way with a look on his face that had me send thankful thoughts to the powers above for the two detectives escorting me. Escorting me where?

We all reached the main entrance at the same time. Gold Buttons craned his neck to stare in the direction of my pink Fiat. Huh, it looked a little slanted against the curb. It must have given the doorman conniption fits because he started to fling his hands around while his face quickly turned the same color as Rudolph’s nose. Very appropriate for the season, I guessed.

“You—young lady”—somehow we all knew young lady wasn’t his first word choice—“you can’t think you’re leaving that...car...there, do you?”

The way he said car really hurt my feelings. I held my head high. “Where would you like me to park it instead?” I confess, having the two cops on my side, brought forth a wave of spunk I would probably live to regret, or not.

He said nothing, but his bulging eyes conveyed his message loud and clear.

“Miss Baker will be showing us around. We may be a while. Is that a problem?” Detective Adam sounded like we were on a paid escorted tour of some exotic paradise. And he didn’t even smile while delivering such a lie. As if all that wasn’t weird enough, before Walter either answered or exploded, one of the elevators opened to let Kay out—Kay who was supposed to help me with the set up for the open house. She saw us and stopped in her tracks. I have to say she was the only one there who actually looked like she belonged. Well of course she did—there was this aura of wealth flowing from her, which was something I had never noticed before. Elegance yet, in-your-face affluence. And it was more attitude than clothes or jewelry. Who was she trying to impress? On impulse, I searched around for a glimpse of Double Wide. I only saw a middle-aged woman in a grey uniform watering some huge plants by the elevators.

“Hi, Kay, I’m glad to see you. I need to go up to the condo with these officers. Can you cover for me?”

What was going on? Was everyone on some kind of chameleon change the color of your face challenge? Kay turned white—I mean, really pale. “Officers?”

“You don’t remember them? They hung around our office when that poor Miss Fortune was killed. You know, the psychic?” I doubted Kay was even listening to me. Her eyes were on Adam and Eve. She finally let out a sigh and said, “Oh, I see.”

I had no clue what she meant. The elevator opened again, and Eve, the she-part of the duo, nudged me into it. Her partner followed us. The doors closed slowly, oh, so slowly on the frowning faces of Walter and Kay.

“Where are the occupants of the police squad?” Did I say that out loud? I must have while watching Adam push the button for the 14th floor.

What did they need me for? They hadn’t ask for any directions. Oh, yeah, I had the door lock combination. Couldn’t they have asked me over the phone? Just as the lift slowed to a stop, Eve pointed to something, Adam looked up; so did I. A security camera. Big freaking surprise. They were everywhere these days.

Well, what do you know. The minute I stepped out of the elevator, I noticed the door of the condo—wide open. What?

“OMG! The door is open. What happened? Oh, wait, maybe Kay left it open, you know, open house, can’t have open house with a locked door, right?” All the time my mind was somersaulting.

Who had given Kay the code? Oh, Sunny, of course. But why would she? And just then a man’s head peeked out from the wide-open door. Then his hand waved, and he stepped out into the hall, wearing a police uniform. Mystery solved. The real cops were already there. Not that Adam and Eve weren’t real—I mean, the title of homicide detective was more imposing than uniform cop.

I was still comparing degrees of importance according to dress code when we reached the condo. And I still had no clue why I was there. I did know what I wasn’t there for the open house. Damn.

“So, Miss Baker,” Detective Adam said.

“Can you please cut out the Miss Baker? I feel the urge to curtsey every time you say that. Monica, my name is Monica, and I would really like to know why the hell you dragged me up here if I’m not allowed to do my job. Certainly you don’t need my help to get in the condo.” This time I didn’t sound phony, because I was mad for real and then some.

Maybe he didn’t hear me, or maybe this was their version of good cop/bad cop, as Eve stepped in. “We need you to show us exactly how you found the condo when you first entered yesterday.”

“Why? You think the fairy godmother redecorated it since yesterday morning?” Saying I was snarky didn’t do justice to my state of mind.

“No, we are talking about the unmade bed and the scattered clothing.”

“Huh? How do you know about that? Oh...” I glanced up to the living room ceiling.

“There aren’t any cameras.” Damn, Adam was really reading my mind.