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me that wants to help him succeed. I miss being part of it, you know?”

“But not ready to perform?”

“I don’t think so. He’s truly talented though. Maybe I could help.”

“So I should give up thoughts of luring you to be part of my studio?”

I chuckle. “Everything is up in the air.”

“I get it. Dating?”

“Uh, the same person. You can understand my hesitance.”

“Oh, yeah. Fuck, dude. Once bitten?”

“He’s the extreme opposite of Arian. He’s the sweetest, most submissive soul, but he’s funny and passionate. We hung out last night and part of today and, Matty, I’m telling ya, he restored part of me.”

“That’s awesome, but you don’t sound happy.”

“Nervous. I don’t want to fuck anything up for him. He thinks I walk on water, but we both know that I don’t.”

“Is he a boy?”

“To his core, but not a little. He’s got an interesting service kink. I just want to be who he thinks I am. I want to be what he needs.”

“Okay, well, I’m gonna be a dick and flip this around on you like you did to me. You should want him to be what you need too. You went wrong by letting that devious twink run the show. There’s nothing wrong with putting your needs first. It’s a lesson I need to learn myself.”

“We’re a mess, aren’t we?”

Matty laughs. “Fuck. We are. There’s hope though. Right?”

The way his voice catches on that last word tugs at my heart for him. “Yeah, there’s tons of hope. I can’t wait to see you. It’s been way too long.”

“I agree. Can I meet this new boy of yours?”

“I’ll ask him. His name is Bentley.”

“Cute.”

“Wait till you see him. You’ll be itching to get your camera on him. He’s so beautiful, but not like Arian. His beauty was curated, manufactured. Bentley’s is...otherworldly. He’s like an angel sent to heal me.”

“I definitely need to meet the kid making you speak all poetic and shit.”

I laugh. “It was a pretty magical evening.”

“Looking forward to hearing more. See you tomorrow AM.”

“Awesome.”

After hanging up with Matteo, I lie back on the couch. There are probably more pros to working with Bentley than cons, but I want to be thoughtful about this. For once, I need to think with my head and not follow my heart. My heart is a sucker for pretty boys and porn.

Twelve

Bentley

Once I’m home, I pull out my phone to text Legend to let him know I arrived safely. Thankfully, it’s a quiet day on the block, which is not always the case, but Ramos is here. He’s my friend. Weirdly. Why a tough drug dealer wants to be my guardian angel is beyond me, but I’ll take his protection. I’ve needed it more than once.

I open my laptop and start to read my email. There’s one from this up-and-coming kid named Jax. He’s said yes to my request. I send back a reply to arrange a meeting time.

As I sit on my shabby couch, my thoughts drift back to Legend, but I try to push them away. Just for now. I hated leaving him, afraid the spell would be broken and he’d never ask me to return again, but he kept saying things like “next time,” so I hope he means it. I shake my head. I have to work and then check in with my parents. But before I do that, I need to call Finn.

Just as I’m about to scroll for his name, a text comes in from Legend.

Legend: Thank you, sweet boy. I’m glad you’re home safely. I’m still thinking about our time together. Would you like to see me again?

Is he kidding?

Me: Is the sky blue? Is the sun hot? Is real estate in LA too damn expensive?

Legend sends a laughing emoji and then…

Legend: Cheeky boy, but you make me feel good. I’ll call soon.

Me: Okay, Daddy. I miss you already.

It takes a few minutes for him to answer, which makes me worry. Did I push too hard by saying I miss him?

Legend: I miss you too, sweet boy.

My body sags with relief. He misses me too. Last night was everything, but this morning, he was so sweet and affectionate that I wanted to cry. He’s everything I’ve always hoped I could find, and now I just need to not fuck it up like I always do.

I go back to looking for Finn’s number. It rings a few times, but then he answers.

“Bents?”

“Hi, Finny. How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Things are okay. How’s school?”

“Hard.” He laughs, but I hear the strain in his voice. “I had to drop to part-time.”

“Aw, man, I’m sorry. Not getting better?”

“No, worse. Maybe three months.”

My chest tightens for my friend. His father has been dying for two years, but sometimes he improves, giving us all hope that he’ll pull through. The last I heard, he was going downhill, and I guess that continued.

“Do you need me to come? You know I will in a heartbeat.”

“I know, but I don’t want you to come. It’s sad here. He’s so medicated now that he’s not really awake anymore. I just hang around for those brief moments when he does wake up so he’s not alone, you know?”

“Yeah.”

Finn’s mom left years ago when Finn was still a teen. It’s just been him and his dad, but then his dad was diagnosed with a rare, inoperable cancer.

“Is there anything I can do, Finn?”

“Maybe, um, maybe I can visit you when he goes?”

“That door is always open. You know that.”

“Yeah.” His voice perks up a little. “Will you come for the funeral?”

“Of course. I’m really sorry.”

“Thanks. I’m okay though. I’ve had time to make peace with it all. I’m just kind of waiting now.”

“Still sucks.”

“It does. How are things there? Making any amazing movies?”

“Soon. Getting there. Um, you know that one guy I’ve been into for a long time?”

“Legend? Of course I know.”

“I met him.”

“Really? Sweet. Is he cool?”

“Yeah. Finny, I spent the night with him last night.”

“What? Dude! Was it awesome?”

“Very. He’s a total Daddy in real

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