TONY: Slow Burn (Raging Fire Book 1), Kallypso Masters [classic novels TXT] 📗

eaten since that energy bar he’d thrown up Monday morning and had no interest in initiating another disastrous one-night stand. He damned well couldn’t sleep, not even after downing a fifth of bourbon on Tuesday. Every time he closed his eyes, he didn’t see the bodies the way he thought he would. Instead, it was the little girl’s pretty blue eyes in her cherub-like face as she and her mother sat on the roof of the SUV in her last moments waiting for him to rescue them.

Those eyes would haunt Tony for the rest of his life.

Yesterday, he’d come to the station as usual for his twenty-four-hour shift, trying to treat it like any other and not let on to those around him that he was having any issues. Thankfully, it was a quiet shift, with only the EMS crew making calls. Nothing he could screw up. Nobody else had to die.

“Tony. My office.” Rafe said after refilling his travel mug with coffee. Tony figured the fun was going to begin a little earlier for him than it would for Michael and Brad. Rafe had been leaving him messages for days and wouldn’t let Tony ignore him this time.

Inside Rafe’s office, Tony took a seat across the desk from his brother. Rafe looked up as he set his coffee mug on the cluttered surface and scrutinized him longer than usual. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah.” Hoping to cut to the chase and get out of here, he added, “What’s up?”

“You’ve had a couple of shit days. I want to know you’re handling this okay. Don’t deny your reactions. This isn’t anything you can train for.”

What the hell? Rafe wasn’t his lieutenant. Tony had deflected his own lieutenant’s concerns when he’d come on duty yesterday. If he’d admit weakness to anyone, it wouldn’t be the brother he’d tried to emulate his whole life.

“Plus, Mama’s worried.”

Ah, this is just a big-brother check-in. “Yeah, well…I needed some time to myself Monday and was here all day yesterday. I’ll go see her tonight.”

Rafe narrowed his eyes at Tony again. Hell, of course that didn’t sound like party-animal Tony who never liked spending time alone.

“See that you do. She’s cooking. Have a nice, quiet family dinner.” Tony was used to Rafe telling him what to do and being protective to the extreme when it came to Mama. Rafe had assumed the role of family patriarch after Papa was killed in the avalanche and had changed all his own plans to step into Papa’s shoes. Driven, Rafe continued to train and study to work his way up the ranks in the fire service.

Tony wondered if things would have been different if Rafe had been able to finish college and pursue a different path in life. Of course, he’d embraced his career with the fire department and seemed content, always trying to achieve more than was expected of him. At the moment, he was studying for his next officer exam.

Rafe took a long swig of his coffee and set the mug on the desk. “Battalion Chief’s on his way. We’ll get started as soon as he arrives.”

If the battalion chief hadn’t made the meeting mandatory, Tony would be long gone. But he’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time on Sunday.

“Sounds good.” Another lie. Tony wanted to get it over with quickly, though, so he could go home. Not that he had any plans on the agenda today. He just needed to get away from people for a while.

I’m damned tired of everyone asking if I’m okay.

Soon after the battalion chief arrived, the crew convened around the kitchen table. In addition to the BC, Rafe, and Tony, the EMT, Fiona, Brad, and Michael were present.

After everyone but Tony had their coffee and doughnuts, the BC stood. “During our last shift on Sunday, we had a high-risk, low-frequency incident.” Yeah, and Tony hoped he’d never have to experience anything like it again. “Thankfully, all of us made it out safely.” His gaze fell on Tony overly long before turning to the whiteboard behind him. “Now, this AAR isn’t about playing the blame game. We’re going to use this time to figure out how we can respond more effectively in the future.” He sketched the layout of the scene on the whiteboard.

Tony shivered, not from cold, but from the memories he wanted desperately to put behind him. Rafe joined the BC at the board, added some detail, and diagrammed the apparatus that had been in place at the scene. When they were both in agreement with the layout, the BC asked Rafe to describe the scene.

“By the time we made it to the victims, the water had risen another ten inches since our arrival on scene. After we got to the end of the ladder, Tony jumped onto the roof and was ready to get the woman into a PFD vest when a huge amount of large debris came toward the vehicle. We didn’t know at the time, but there had been a mudslide upriver on the slope that had burned in the wildfire a year ago this month. A large tree trunk slammed into the vehicle, sending Tony and the two victims into the water.” He paused and stared in Tony’s direction. “Tony disconnected himself from the safety rope in an attempt to grab them but wasn’t able to make contact.”

A deafening silence filled the room. Tony maintained his focus on the whiteboard and Rafe turned to mark their positions in the water with different colored Xs.

“First, what went right?” The battalion chief asked Brad, Michael, and Tony to chime in. Brad talked about the performance of the ladder truck and dealing with the challenge of finding level ground nearby. Luck had been on their side having the rest area parking lot free of vehicles.

“We also had an extra pair of hands with Tony,” Michael said, “who wasn’t on duty Sunday but happened to be at the station when the call came in.”

Some help he’d turned out to