Man and Superman, George Bernard Shaw [hardest books to read txt] 📗

Jack! Ramsden You are at present a guest beneath the roof of one of the old cats, sir. My sister is the mistress of this house. Tanner She would put me in the housekeeper’s room, too, if she dared, Ramsden. However, I withdraw cats. Cats would have more sense. Ann: as your guardian, I order you to go to Violet at once and be particularly kind to her. Ann I have seen her, Jack. And I am sorry to say I am afraid she is going to be rather obstinate about going abroad. I think Tavy ought to speak to her about it. Octavius How can I speak to her about such a thing? He breaks down. Ann Don’t break down, Ricky. Try to bear it for all our sakes. Ramsden Life is not all plays and poems, Octavius. Come! Face it like a man. Tanner Chafing again. Poor dear brother! Poor dear friends of the family! Poor dear Tabbies and Grimalkins. Poor dear everybody except the woman who is going to risk her life to create another life! Tavy: don’t you be a selfish ass. Away with you and talk to Violet; and bring her down here if she cares to come. Octavius rises. Tell her we’ll stand by her. Ramsden Rising. No, sir⁠— Tanner Rising also and interrupting him. Oh, we understand: it’s against your conscience; but still you’ll do it. Octavius I assure you all, on my word, I never meant to be selfish. It’s so hard to know what to do when one wishes earnestly to do right. Tanner My dear Tavy, your pious English habit of regarding the world as a moral gymnasium built expressly to strengthen your character in, occasionally leads you to think about your own confounded principles when you should be thinking about other people’s necessities. The need of the present hour is a happy mother and a healthy baby. Bend your energies on that; and you will see your way clearly enough. Octavius, much perplexed, goes out. Ramsden Facing Tanner impressively. And morality, sir? What is to become of that? Tanner Meaning a weeping Magdalen and an innocent child branded with her shame. Not in our circle, thank you. Morality can go to its father the devil. Ramsden I thought so, sir. Morality sent to the devil to please our libertines, male and female. That is to be the future of England, is it? Tanner Oh, England will survive your disapproval. Meanwhile, I understand that you agree with me as to the practical course we are to take? Ramsden Not in your spirit sir. Not for your reasons. Tanner You can explain that if anybody calls you to account, here or hereafter. He turns away, and plants himself in front of Mr. Herbert Spencer, at whom he stares gloomily. Ann Rising and coming to Ramsden. Granny: hadn’t you better go up to the drawing room and tell them what we intend to do? Ramsden Looking pointedly at Tanner. I hardly like to leave you alone with this gentleman. Will you not come with me? Ann Miss Ramsden would not like to speak about it before me, Granny. I ought not to be present. Ramsden You are right: I should have thought of that. You are a good girl, Annie. He pats her on the shoulder. She looks up at him with beaming eyes and he goes out, much moved. Having disposed of him, she looks at Tanner. His back being turned to her, she gives a moment’s attention to her personal appearance, then softly goes to him and speaks almost into his ear. Ann Jack: He turns with a start. are you glad that you are my guardian? You don’t mind being made responsible for me, I hope. Tanner The latest addition to your collection of scapegoats, eh? Ann Oh, that stupid old joke of yours about me! Do please drop it. Why do you say things that you know must pain me? I do my best to please you, Jack: I suppose I may tell you so now that you are my guardian. You will make me so unhappy if you refuse to be friends with me. Tanner Studying her as gloomily as he studied the dust. You need not go begging for my regard. How unreal our moral judgments are! You seem to me to have absolutely no conscience⁠—only hypocrisy; and you can’t see the difference⁠—yet there is a sort of fascination about you. I always attend to you, somehow. I should miss you if I lost you. Ann Tranquilly slipping her arm into his and walking about with him. But isn’t that only natural, Jack? We have known each other since we were children. Do you remember? Tanner Abruptly breaking loose. Stop! I remember everything. Ann Oh, I daresay we were often very silly; but⁠— Tanner I won’t have it, Ann. I am no more that schoolboy now than I am the dotard of ninety I shall grow into if I live long enough. It is over: let me forget it. Ann Wasn’t it a happy time? She attempts to take his arm again. Tanner Sit down and behave yourself. He makes her sit down in the chair next the writing table. No doubt it was a happy time for you. You were a good girl and never compromised yourself. And yet the wickedest child that ever was slapped could hardly have had a better time. I can understand the success with which you bullied the other girls: your virtue imposed on them. But tell me this: did you ever know a good boy? Ann Of course. All boys are foolish sometimes; but Tavy was always a really good boy. Tanner Struck by this. Yes: you’re right. For some reason you never tempted Tavy. Ann Tempted! Jack! Tanner Yes, my dear Lady Mephistopheles, tempted. You were insatiably curious as to what a boy might be capable of, and diabolically clever at getting through his guard and surprising his inmost secrets. Ann What nonsense! All because you used to tell me long stories of