The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance, Giulia Lagomarsino [acx book reading .txt] 📗

don’t appreciate you coming to your senses and breaking me out of the insane asylum, but not believing me was a little bit of a relationship killer.”

“Yeah, I’m aware.”

She pinched my cheek. “But it all worked out in the end.” Her eyes went back to the paper. “I kind of like it when you call my vagina a honeypot. Not that I would recommend doing it on a regular basis, but we definitely have something hot going. We shouldn’t mess with it too much.”

I nodded, finding it a little weird that she was giving me advice on this.

“Your fated?” She tilted her head at me. “You think we’re fated?”

“Well, not like fated—fated. Like…meant to be.”

“Like, if I died, would you go insane, howling at the moon over sadness for me?”

“Why the fuck would I howl at the moon?”

“Let me ask you something,” she said, completely ignoring my question. “Do you think you would go insane without me? Would you die without me?”

I shrugged, a little uncomfortable with the question. Jessica and I didn’t normally get this in depth over feelings. “I mean, I would be mad.”

“You would be mad,” she said, staring at me like I was a dumbass.

“Yeah, you know…upset.”

“So, the woman you married has just been murdered, and you would be upset?”

God, that was really twisting my words. “Okay, I would be devastated. I would probably lose my fucking mind and burn the whole world down. Are you happy? I would never know happiness again, because I can’t stand the thought of losing you. If you thought I was a mess before, you don’t want to see what would happen if I ever lost you. I would hunt down anyone that dared to touch you, and I would make them suffer the most unspeakable death. The man you know now wouldn’t exist anymore, because I can’t stand to lose one more person I love. Are you happy?”

She smirked slightly and wrapped her arms around my neck, her breath tickling my ear. “There are stories of men and women that fall into this instant connection, a connection that’s unbreakable. It’s said that when they lose their mate, they go crazy.” She pulled back slightly and looked into my eyes. “Nick, I have a very important question for you.” I nodded slightly. “Are you a wolf shifter?”

Sighing, I yanked her arms from around my neck and walked away. “Fine, make fun of me.”

She laughed out loud, making it nearly impossible for me to be mad at her. “What? I mean, if you walk in there with the word fated on your paper, the guys are gonna start asking questions. You need help with this.”

“Oh, and I suppose you’re going to help me.”

She shrugged. “Why not? I mean, if it helps finish this stupid manual, then I’m all on board to help.”

“The other women aren’t,” I said suspiciously.

“Well, they aren’t as cool as me. Now, let’s cover the basics, things I can help you with.”

Warily, I took a seat and got ready to write. She sat across from me and propped her chin in her hand.

“Now, let’s start with something simple, like sex. You know how women are always saying they want to be wooed?” I nodded. “It’s not true. Not a single woman in the world wants that drawn out. All it takes is a grab of the ass, and we’re ready to go.”

“Really?” I asked. That didn’t sound right. “But I thought women wanted to feel special and shit?”

She leaned forward on the table. “We don’t have time for special. Give us the signal, and it’s go time. And most women are ready the instant you give us that look. There’s no need for all that kissing and petting. Just pull your dick out and get to work.”

I was a little stunned by that. Was that seriously what women wanted? Had we all been doing it wrong all along? And if we had, imagine all the men that would have been saved from bad relationships because they did the whole licking and warming up shit. If only they had known. I eagerly wrote it down.

5. No foreplay. Women don’t like it.

“Okay, what else do you have for me?”

“Well, you know how women are always bitching about having to take care of men?”

“You mean like when you yell at me for not doing the dishes?”

She nodded. “It’s all bullshit.”

My eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, men are hunters and women are gatherers. We want to take care of our men, and that includes doing the dishes for you. Somewhere along the way, women started thinking that if they made men feel like women needed them to do these menial chores around the house, then it would make men feel manlier. But really, we just want to take care of you after a long day. It makes us feel better to know that we’re doing everything possible to help our men.”

I just stared at her. It wasn’t possible. It was like she was telling me the secrets of the universe. No woman would dare give up these secrets. So, why was she?

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, some women think they hold power over a man by keeping this a secret, but the truth is, it’s very tiring to not just be what we were meant to be.”

I huffed out a laugh. It all made sense. In reality, as much as I hated doing those damn dishes, she was right, I felt like I was helping her at the end of the day.

6. Women want to take care of their men. Stop helping around the house.

“Okay, hit me with your biggest one yet.”

She grinned, biting her lip. “Okay, here’s a big one, but you have to be careful that this doesn’t get out.”

“Of course.”

“I’m serious. This is only for the manual, so no spreading to other guys. This is a sacred secret.”

I crossed my fingers over my chest. “Cross my heart, hope to die.”

She smiled at me. “We hate