Mr. H.O.A., Carina Taylor [uplifting book club books .txt] 📗

owner, you're more likely to avoid any legal action."

"Oh, how exciting! We can be squatters."

"No, we are not squatters. We are going to pay your friends rent until we find a place to live. I should have just rented that apartment in Burnside," he growled.

"Yes, but I don't want to drive that far. Besides, you seem to be doing house showings mainly in Riverly, and your office is here, so it doesn't make sense for you to live in Burnside. We’re perfectly fine living here. We’re a happily married young couple learning a new set of HOA rules."

Bane sighed. "Talking about this is giving me a headache, and I haven't even made it to the office yet."

"Maybe you should take care of that headache." I jumped up and rummaged around in my purse that sat on the counter until I found what I was looking for. I passed him the bottle of generic pain relievers. "This'll help."

"Thanks," he said, but he left the bottle closed next to him.

"They’re not going to help you just sitting there," I commented helpfully.

"Thank you, but I don’t like taking pills," he explained.

"Gag reflex?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Hard pill to swallow?"

"Are you always this obnoxious?"

I smiled guiltily. "But really, why don’t you take pills?"

"I like to save pills for when I really need them."

"Having a headache counts as really needing them, did you know that?"

He shrugged. "I’ll be fine; it’s just a tension headache."

I let it go, promising myself that I’d find some naturopathic remedies for his headaches.

"Okay, if we're going to make this work, we have to know a few basic things about each other. Things every married couple would know."

Bane leaned back against the barstool. "Such as?"

"Which side of the bed do you sleep on?"

He scowled. "I don't see how anyone is going to care which side of the bed we sleep on."

"Humor me."

"Fine. I like the right side."

"Hmm, that's interesting."

"This has nothing to do with anything, does it?"

I smiled. "Nope. I just thought it might be a nice icebreaker. Or hopefully, a conversation ender. Because I need to go get dressed and do my makeup." I grabbed the mug off the counter and headed out of the kitchen.

"Hey! We need to talk about this!" He called after me.

"We sure do, Bertram. Maybe we can chat over breakfast another time!" I hollered as I walked down the hall to the bathroom close to my room.

The heated floors in the bathroom felt good on my cold feet. I hadn't found my fuzzy socks in the stuff I'd packed into my car. I only hoped I hadn't left them behind. I thought I'd only left the unimportant things in the apartment, but there might have been some key items that were missing.

Like my makeup bag.

How did I forget that? I'd probably left it in that dingy bathroom in the middle of my rushed packing. I was going to have to go to the store incognito. Maybe I could borrow one of Bane's suits. I looked remarkably like my brother without makeup on.

Just because I had brown hair, didn't mean my eyelashes had the decency to be visible. Looking at myself in the mirror, I studied my features, trying to be objective. I wondered what Bane thought when he saw me.

My bright green eyes popped against my lightly freckled skin. My messy bun hair was running amok. My under eyes and lips were a little puffy from still waking up. And wearing the giant sweatshirt and shorts, I looked about twelve years old.

So, yeah, he probably did see me as a platonic roommate. Dang it.

I'd made the entire speech about not being interested in him as an attempt to convince myself that I needed to not be interested in him. I couldn't be.

Bartholomew Fox was too invested in his image.

Those fancy suits.

That big SUV.

His handsome face.

Okay, well he couldn't change the last one, but he did always smell nice. If he were like most men, I would have caught a gross whiff of body odor at some point. But no, each of our encounters involved a delicious smell emanating from him. Maybe he had a condition where his sweat smelled like Old Spice.

I jerked the hood of my sweatshirt over my head. I grabbed a change of clothes for after my emergency makeup stop. I'd have to go straight to work after I bought some makeup. The DHS office opened at eight. All the other businesses in town didn’t open until nine. It always frustrated me to think about all the other people who had a relaxing morning before they headed to their little businesses in downtown Riverly.

"Bane! I need to pull out. Are you parked behind the garage?" I called as I tied the sweatshirt strings tightly under my chin. Grabbing my purse from the kitchen counter, I heaved it onto my shoulder.

"Yeah, but I'm thinking about not moving until we agree on roommate rules," he said as I walked into the kitchen.

"I agree to be the best roommate you’ve ever had."

Bane furrowed his brow. "I’ve never had a roommate before."

"Oh thank goodness, it’ll be an easy standard to uphold. Now, I have to go buy some makeup, and get to the office on time. I've only had one cup of coffee, and I wrapped you up in a blanket last night. I'm pretty sure I should have a free pass to skip the rule talk this morning."

Bane's eyebrows looked like they were in the middle of his forehead. "Okay. I understand, I just thought—"

"You realize I'm one second away from losing my mind, right?"

"Right. But we're having this discussion tonight."

"Righto, sarge."

He grumbled under his breath as he disappeared out the sliding door. I walked into the garage and opened the big door before starting my car.

I pulled out while Bane sat in his SUV on the side of the street waiting for me to clear the driveway. I passed a small white truck that had "Willow Loop Security" printed on it.

The fabled security guard was