The Way We Live Now, Anthony Trollope [good story books to read .txt] 📗

with the girl,” said Lord Grasslough. “What he’ll do now, nobody knows. If I was at it, I’d have the money down in hard cash before I went into the church. He was there at the party yesterday, talking to the girl all the night;⁠—a sort of thing he never did before. Nidderdale is the best fellow going, but he was always an ass.” Nor had Miles Grendall been seen in the club for three days. “We’ve got into a way of play the poor fellow doesn’t like,” said Lord Grasslough; “and then Melmotte won’t let him out of his sight. He has taken to dine there every day.” This was said during the election⁠—on the very day on which Miles deserted his patron; and on that evening he did dine at the club. Paul Montague also dined there, and would fain have heard something from Grendall as to Melmotte’s condition; but the secretary, if not faithful in all things, was faithful at any rate in his silence. Though Grasslough talked openly enough about Melmotte in the smoking-room Miles Grendall said never a word.

On the next day, early in the afternoon, almost without a fixed purpose, Montague strolled up to Welbeck Street, and found Hetta alone. “Mamma has gone to her publisher’s,” she said. “She is writing so much now that she is always going there. Who has been elected, Mr. Montague?” Paul knew nothing about the election, and cared very little. At that time, however, the election had not been decided. “I suppose it will make no difference to you whether your chairman be in Parliament or not?” Paul said that Melmotte was no longer a chairman of his. “Are you out of it altogether, Mr. Montague?” Yes;⁠—as far as it lay within his power to be out of it, he was out of it. He did not like Mr. Melmotte, nor believe in him. Then with considerable warmth he repudiated all connection with the Melmotte party, expressing deep regret that circumstances had driven him for a time into that alliance. “Then you think that Mr. Melmotte is⁠—?”

“Just a scoundrel;⁠—that’s all.”

“You heard about Felix?”

“Of course I heard that he was to marry the girl, and that he tried to run off with her. I don’t know much about it. They say that Lord Nidderdale is to marry her now.”

“I think not, Mr. Montague.”

“I hope not, for his sake. At any rate, your brother is well out of it.”

“Do you know that she loves Felix? There is no pretence about that. I do think she is good. The other night at the party she spoke to me.”

“You went to the party, then?”

“Yes;⁠—I could not refuse to go when mamma chose to take me. And when I was there she spoke to me about Felix. I don’t think she will marry Lord Nidderdale. Poor girl;⁠—I do pity her. Think what a downfall it will be if anything happens.”

But Paul Montague had certainly not come there with the intention of discussing Melmotte’s affairs, nor could he afford to lose the opportunity which chance had given him. He was off with one love, and now he thought that he might be on with the other. “Hetta,” he said, “I am thinking more of myself than of her⁠—or even of Felix.”

“I suppose we all do think more of ourselves than of other people,” said Hetta, who knew from his voice at once what it was in his mind to do.

“Yes;⁠—but I am not thinking of myself only. I am thinking of myself, and you. In all my thoughts of myself I am thinking of you too.”

“I do not know why you should do that.”

“Hetta, you must know that I love you.”

“Do you?” she said. Of course she knew it. And of course she thought that he was equally sure of her love. Had he chosen to read signs that ought to have been plain enough to him, could he have doubted her love after the few words that had been spoken on that night when Lady Carbury had come in with Roger and interrupted them? She could not remember exactly what had been said; but she did remember that he had spoken of leaving England forever in a certain event, and that she had not rebuked him;⁠—and she remembered also how she had confessed her own love to her mother. He, of course, had known nothing of that confession; but he must have known that he had her heart! So at least she thought. She had been working some morsel of lace, as ladies do when ladies wish to be not quite doing nothing. She had endeavoured to ply her needle, very idly, while he was speaking to her, but now she allowed her hands to fall into her lap. She would have continued to work at the lace had she been able, but there are times when the eyes will not see clearly, and when the hands will hardly act mechanically.

“Yes⁠—I do. Hetta, say a word to me. Can it be so? Look at me for one moment so as to let me know.” Her eyes had turned downwards after her work. “If Roger is dearer to you than I am, I will go at once.”

“Roger is very dear to me.”

“Do you love him as I would have you love me?”

She paused for a time, knowing that his eyes were fixed upon her, and then she answered the question in a low voice, but very clearly. “No,” she said;⁠—“not like that.”

“Can you love me like that?” He put out both his arms as though to take her to his breast should the answer be such as he longed to hear. She raised her hand towards him, as if to keep him back, and left it with him when he seized it. “Is it mine?” he said.

“If you want it.”

Then he was at her feet in a moment, kissing her hands and her dress, looking up into her face with his eyes full of tears, ecstatic with joy as