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heard little from before - standing up to Mum. Maybe it’s because he feels safer over the phone, whilst she’s miles away in Devon. Whatever it is, he needs to do more of it. He’s had enough years of being henpecked and under her control. I’m getting to where I don’t care if she cuts me off, as long as she doesn’t come between me and Dad like she has threatened to. She managed it when I was a teenager. Rob was right. I’m a grown woman now and she can’t hurt me anymore.

“That still doesn’t answer why you’re saying you’re here, with our daughter and grandson, when really I know you’re in Devon.”

Bloody hell. She will know that I’ve told him. There’s only me he could have found that out from. But I haven’t told him who she’s with. The proverbial is really going to hit the fan now. I don’t know how I will cope if Dad goes off the rails again.

I’ve got a funeral to arrange, Jack to take care of and I haven’t even thought about finances yet, although the questions that DI Green asked have reinforced the need that I should see what I can find out about the money I invested. And the money Rob invested. There’s the other stuff that Denise has plagued me about too, the will, life insurance, what a nightmare.

I do a mental reckoning of support I might call on. I wish I had siblings. Even friends. I’ve a couple of cousins from Mum’s side, but I’d most likely walk past them in the street, it’s been so many years since I saw them. Other than Dad, I’ve only really got Christina and the AA support group. I guess there’s a few of the other mothers who might take the load off with Jack, like Lynne. But I don’t enjoy asking for help. If you don’t rely on others, then no one can let you down.

“I’m not stupid Maggie. I’ve suspected for a while that you’re carrying on with someone else again. Though why you had to drag Fiona into it makes no sense at all.”

Even above the TV, I can hear the rise of Mum’s voice, though I can’t make out what she’s saying. It’s probably just as well. I was stupid thinking there was a possibility that she might have been on her way up the M1 last night. She’s the most selfish person I have ever known.

“No, I’ve worked it out for myself.”

I leave the room to get some water. When I return, Dad’s still pacing.

“I don’t want to discuss this any further.” His voice is calm, considering. “I’m going to get back to looking after our daughter, whose husband has just been killed.”

Pause.

“Don’t bother. I’m here. You might as well stay where you are now.” He presses the end call button on his phone and looks at me. I think he looks more worn out than I do.

“Your mother claims to have ended whatever relationship she’s been having.” He lets a long breath out.

The chill of the water hitting my stomach is comforting. “What has she gone all the way to Devon for? Surely she could have ended things with him by telephone and saved herself a trip.”

“You could have told me what was going on.” He sinks into the armchair next to the window.

“I knew it would fizzle out.”

“I had a right to know love.”

I follow his gaze. He seems to be staring at the last of the daylight. “How could I tell you Dad? Look what happened last time.” My voice has risen without me realising. I lower it again. “I’m sorry to bring that up. I wanted to tell you – loads of times. But it worried me how you would take it? Or if you’d even believe me.”

“Of course I would.”

I swallow, once again feeling like a young girl, fearing my mother’s wrath just as much as I did then. “Mum threatened me. She said I’d lose her, and she’d ensure I’d hardly see you if I got involved.” For now, I’m consumed by all this. I realise that with what is going on between my parents, I’ve hardly thought about my predicament for the last quarter of an hour.

“I can’t speak for your mother, but you will never lose me.” Dad reaches across and lays his hand on top of mine. “She could never come between us love. You’re my daughter.” He sighs. “Look, I know things are horrendous right now, but somehow, we’ll get through this.”

“But she’s your wife.” I can’t tell him of the real reason mum doesn’t want him to find out about her dodgy behaviour. Perhaps a small part is her concerned about his welfare. But knowing her as I do, it is more because she risks losing her entitlement to life insurance, and other financial compensations if he were to commit suicide.

“You must try not to listen too much to your mother. I don’t think she really means it. Perhaps she makes such hurtful threats about cutting you off, and cutting us off, because she’s trying to bring you down to the level she’s at.” He pulls a sorry-looking hanky from his pocket. “Maggie feels so crap, that she wants others to feel the same way. It makes her feel better somehow.” He blows his nose, sounding like a trumpet. Normally that would be something I would laugh at too. “I’m proud of you, you know Fiona.”

Dad never says things like this. For a moment I forget Mum. And Rob. And even Jack. I’m not on my own. For the first time since yesterday, I think perhaps I can get through this. Without Mum. And without brandy. Dad’s taken the finding out of Mum’s affair unbelievably well.

My phone beeps. As if you have told him Fiona. After all we agreed. Just you wait.

I show the text to Dad.

“Delete it.”

* * *

Once the funeral is over,

it will be like it never happened.

The flowers will wilt,

and

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