The Stranger In the Guest Room, V. Lockwood [best e book reader android .txt] 📗

couldn’t be honest with me. I knew something was wrong. I even brought it up to you that it felt like something was wrong, and you still couldn’t tell me. Why?”

“I don’t know if I have an answer for that, other than, I don’t know who I was—or am. I wanted to tell you, but I also didn’t want to live in that moment of... I guess I just didn’t want to face the fact that he’s... he’s... that he’s...” He brought both his palms to cover his eyes as he sobbed.

“Brooks,” I whispered as I held him.

“I’ve made such a mess of everything,” he bawled.

“No, Brooks.”

“I just want him back. For years, I needed you back. I grieved over you and endured pain I’ve never felt before. I didn’t think I’d make it without you. Then she... then she...” He paused and took a few breaths to calm himself down. “Now he’s gone. And I just need him back, and I know he’s gone for good. And I messed it up with you, and now you’re gone again, and I’m just...”

“Wait. Not once have I said I’m leaving, Brooks. Not once.”

He stared at me.

“I just asked you why you couldn’t tell me. That’s it. That’s all I’ve said. I want to know what I did that made you feel that way, so I don’t do it again. I want you to be able to tell me everything. And I want to be able to tell you everything.”

“Erika, I can’t be that man right now.”

“I know.” I took his hand and held it. “I already know. Just like you were there for me when my world was falling apart, you held me up through it all. I’m going to be right here for you.”

He shook his head. “I can’t be the man you deserve. I’m not him. I’m not who I was back when it was you and me. I’ll never be him, or close to that ever again, Erika, and I’m sorry.”

“Brooks, I don’t want to lose you, okay. What happened this past week is not you and me. That’s not who either of us are.”

“You’re not listening to me,” he sighed. “You need to leave. She wrecked my life, and now I ruined yours and... and... his.”

“Easton?”

“Yes.”

“Brooks, you need to listen to me,” I said sharply. “I’m not giving up this time. You know, I meant everything I said to you this weekend. Every word. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I can’t promise you I can be the man you want in your life.”

“But you’re the man I need, Brooks. I don’t need anyone or anything else in my life. I need you to know that. We’ve wasted too much time apart. We missed too many years apart that we could have spent together, and I won’t let these last years of our lives be tossed away either. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied as he softened his voice and settled his head against the pillow. “I just need you to go.”

I stared at him. I thought coming to talk to him face to face would be a steppingstone to our new future together. But he didn’t want me in it, and I felt a twirl of emotions pour out around me.

He looked towards the wall.

“Brooks. You need to listen to me. I’ll leave after I’ve said what I need to say. After that, if it’s what you want, I’ll go. If it will make you feel better, then I’ll leave. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to live my life without you. I don’t want to be alone any longer. I don’t want you to be alone.” I rose and wandered towards the window, then turned back to the bed. “What we had in the past was incredible. It was everything I’ve ever wished in my life. It was all the feelings I’ve ever longed to know with a partner. When I wake up, it’s you I think about. All day long, I think about you. Before I go to bed at night, it’s you. It’s always you. It always has been you.”

He remained silent.

“Brooks, all I want is you. This pains me to leave. I just need you to know that.” I strode to his bed, leaned over, and kissed him on the side of his forehead. “I love you.”

I dried the tears streaming from his eye before I stepped out of the room. I headed down towards the waiting room where Margo had been waiting.

Chapter Fifteen

I walked down to my kitchen and smiled at Margo, who was already working at the island. “You’re up early again.”

It had been two days since everything happened and even though it all still felt like it was a dream, the pit in my stomach was enough to remind me just how real everything was.

“How did you sleep?” she asked.

“I think okay. I don’t know.”

“Everything is going to be okay.”

I smiled at her. “I wish I could believe those words, especially coming from you.”

She smiled.

“It’s like I have to go through losing him all over again, you know. Like the first time wasn’t hard enough. I don’t think I ever let him go and now, it’s like I’m forced to do that because he’s not even taking my calls.”

I called the hospital a few times to talk to Brooks, but he had yet to talk with me. The thought of driving over there had crossed my mind a few times, but the weather and the roads kept Margo and me safe in the cabin.

“He not taking your calls doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s had a lot happen in a short amount of time. A lot of life-altering things happened to him, and we all deal with those issues differently.”

“This is just not like him. I still don’t even know what I did or said that would make him hold back from telling me the truth. I just have