Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone [self help books to read TXT] 📗

And here we go.

I flew back to New York the next morning and went straight to the office, where I was unfortunately forced to fire an employee who was taking a shower in a back bathroom instead of sitting at her desk. Actually, I fired five people that day: It’s still referred to as the “Bloodbath at People’s Revolution.” Later, I spoke on a panel with Little Steven from The Sopranos and the E Street Band at the New Music Seminar. After that, exhausted, I went to the Mercer Hotel for an omelette.

On the outside, it was business as usual. My life was demanding to go on on its own terms. But on the inside things were churning and burning. For the next few months, I’d find myself in tears in the most inappropriate places, from my agent’s office at William Morris to meetings over a TV deal. I couldn’t shake the power of my experiences at Val-Kill and in Toronto. My soul was busy concocting a recipe, one I’ll share with you (since I know cookbooks are really hot right now):

How to Awaken Your Universal Motherhood = Consciousness + Compassion + Love in Action. (Oh, and don’t forget to add a dash of ruthlessness.)

Here’s a quick physics lesson. Matter—a word that comes from the Latin word mater, meaning “mother,” by the way—is only matter because atoms agree to continually vibrate in harmony in order to form the chair you’re sitting on and the ground on which your house stands. Well, I believe we’re being called in this moment to harmonize ourselves too—to agree to continually vibrate with consistency, to repeat the same loving and compassionate actions every day in order to help ourselves and our species progress. It’s not always easy, I know. When I’m short on compassion, I like to literally imagine myself as the mother of all beings—to behave as if everything, from a seal in the Arctic to a charming baby to a mass murderer, came through me. This is what it means to be a Universal Mother: to walk down the street beaming love and compassion, feeling no separation from anyone or anything else.

In other words, it doesn’t mean you have to like everything you see. It just means you have to recognize you’re not different from it.

Chapter Five

Compassion Is in Fashion

No matter how rich we are, as long as we are not prepared to be compassionate towards the poor, we are truly living in utter poverty. Such people are the true destitutes in the eyes of God.

—Amma

Over the years, I’ve received thousands of letters from young people who want to get into the fashion business; others ask me for clothing or interview advice or even how to handle a breakup. But not one has ever asked, “Can you tell me how I can help make a difference in my community?” I guess most people just don’t see compassion as a chic thing to aspire to. They see it as something hippies do, or something the superrich do as a tax break, or something unemployed twenty-somethings do while trying to figure out their next move. Don’t get me wrong. Fashion is worthwhile and powerful, and can turn Cinderellas into supermodels. But it’s not attractive to have the spoils of this world and not feel for people who don’t. I believe everyone who breathes the air of this earth, regardless of their job or their bank account, must give back more than just carbon dioxide.

I’m shocked now at how, with the exception of a few days or weeks of my life, my blinders have allowed me—a sensitive and aware person—to walk by my fellow humans in distress without noticing or helping them. I’m not alone. Most of us are taught by our parents to turn away from people in the street who are in desperate need of help! We’re told to keep walking, to “mind our own business.” We learn to pass by unspeakable things and situations without ever stopping, whether it’s a mother hitting her child at a Wal-Mart or a homeless person starving or freezing on the street while we’re on our way to American Apparel to get a two-for-one special on T-shirts. We’re fed meat at every meal, but nobody would eat a ShopRite steak if they saw how the animals were treated! From a young age, we’re programmed to believe that to be normal means not fighting the injustices all around us. Well, I don’t believe we can kid ourselves anymore.

In order to have a full life, one’s life must be full—of struggle, strife, glory, victory, living, education (both book and street), and, most important, one another. We need to connect and relate to all the others on the planet. We live in a world that’s full of everything, yet we walk by homeless kids on the street! Do you see the disconnect? Not to sound 1960s, but isn’t it time to “Stop, children, what’s that sound, everybody look what’s goin’ down”? We shouldn’t just accept destruction and individual devastation as normal everyday occurrences. Only when we start to attune to what’s really happening all around us can we start to transform it. If you have the time to go out to a bar with your friends four times a week, you can go to a soup kitchen at least once. In fact, call me up, and I’ll go with you.

I now believe that in order to have a balanced life, you have to do something every week for other people or your community—that making a difference should be on par with making love or making money. I’m not saying that just getting up in the morning, going to work, and doing your best can’t be a service to your community; after all, people need jobs, and the fashion industry, for example, employs people from the shipping, trucking and freight industries to the garment