Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men, Wonderly, Morgan [best ereader manga txt] 📗

are attracted to women who are not only comfortable with their femininity, but who relish it. An authentic woman is courageous enough to listen to her inner voice and be true to her own heart. She lives according to her own values, not the values of others or society.

When we make decisions based on fear of what others will think, we feel uneasy because people will always have an opinion of what we do, and we’ll never make everyone happy. Decisions based on fear often end up hurting ourselves and others because they go against our own heart’s desire. We end up living in a self-made prison of cognitive dissonance, when our actions are not consistent with our beliefs and our spirits aren’t free.

Authenticity means being comfortable looking at every aspect of ourselves, even the parts we don’t think are so adorable. If we are willing to open up to men about our less-than-perfect traits, men will feel safe to open up about their authentic less-than-perfect selves too. They will see our humanness, which endears us to them.

The greatest benefit for us in having the courage to reveal our true authenticity is that it promotes high self-worth. That is priceless.

Men Love Our Vulnerability

Vulnerability is closely related to authenticity. We can’t be fully authentic without first being vulnerable. This willingness to be deeply open and transparent makes us irresistible to a man. One reason vulnerability is so attractive to a man is that he has a deep need to be needed and to be protective of us. Our vulnerability brings out the hero in him.

So why is the thought of being vulnerable so frightening to us? Perhaps it is because we fear the hurt and rejection that might come when we unmask our real selves. Vulnerability takes courage because we have to surrender to our fears of being seen and known. It feels scary because it requires getting naked emotionally and we could get hurt.

Most of us carry past relationship wounds of some kind, which can make being vulnerable a scary proposition. It is important as women that we first listen to and trust our intuition to determine when to be vulnerable and when not to be. Yet to have real intimacy in a romantic relationship we must be willing to be vulnerable. Without vulnerability, we are prone to being hollow and rigid. We miss out on the rich, close connection with the man we love. We cannot experience genuine love or intimacy without vulnerability.

Once we have chosen a good man and opened ourselves to him, we receive the best rewards. We find that as we are more vulnerable, our man is too. Men want to feel safe to express their uncertainties to us, but they are not likely to open up if we won’t be vulnerable with them. It’s the intimacy of sharing secrets and intimate details that sets our hearts free and serves as a bonding force in couples.

Being vulnerable is not only a gift we give ourselves, it’s also a gift of freedom for our men.

Men have consistently expressed to me the desire for a woman to be authentic and vulnerable instead of putting up the pretense of perfection. Here are some comments I’ve heard from men:

“It’s vulnerability that establishes trust.”

– Bill

“When a woman is vulnerable, it brings out the chivalrous side of me. I think it’s now a safe place for me to be authentic.

It builds trust.”

– Irvin

“Femininity is showing vulnerability, sensitivity, tears, and trust. Vulnerability is a sign of trust and appreciation. It is something to be treasured, protected and never violated. It is a positive move in a relationship, a sign of opening, a sign of courage. It’s positive communication in both friendship and romance. I welcome it with deep appreciation, care, and reverence.”

– Paul J.

Men Love Our Receptiveness

Men love to give to their women, but they find it hard to give if women aren’t receptive to their offerings. It disappoints men when women don’t openly receive their gifts (help, service, chivalry, support) because it makes them feel unappreciated.

Receptivity is a feminine quality that’s irresistible to men. To be receptive means to be responsive, approachable, and accessible. Our receptiveness makes men feel masculine because it indicates we trust them to take the lead in a particular area.

Being receptive is not easy for most of us these days because it involves letting go of independence. Switching to our feminine receptive energy can be challenging when we arrive home from doing masculine jobs. To be receptive, we can’t remain inflexible. We can soften our resistance by letting go of the day and relaxing and being gracious receivers. Saying “yes,” “thank you,” “please,” and “that would be wonderful” to the men who love us and want to give to us.

Men have told me that they love to compliment us on our looks, our outfit, our talents, our cooking, and our skills. And they love it when we receive and appreciate their compliments. But many women reject these verbal gifts by downplaying or not believing them. We often think men are just being nice, trying to lure us into bed, or devising another ulterior motive. The vast majority of men are sincere when they give us a compliment, and if we receive their compliments graciously, it shows a delightful openness.

One aspect of receptivity is allowing, which men find refreshingly feminine. To be more allowing, we must look at what we resist. Even if we aren’t fully aware of it, most of us subconsciously resist situations and people on a daily basis. We have a difficult time trusting ourselves or others. But, each time we resist something or someone, we limit our experiences and hinder new possibilities. And so, to allow, we must overcome our resistances.

Most resistance stems from fear of the unknown. Our ego keeps us safe by holding us in our comfort zone. Recall times in your life when you said no to something simply because it was new and unfamiliar. You