The Theft of Sunlight, Intisar Khanani [best book club books for discussion txt] 📗

can possibly come right with Alyrra as upset as she is. Or perhaps as princess she can demand things of captains and expect to be fully obeyed.

A confident tap-tap sounds on the door. I rise, knowing it is my duty to open the door and hoping against hope it will not be the captain from this afternoon. If it’s another captain—or his superior—this whole conversation will go much easier.

“Stay,” Alyrra says. I turn with a sense of relief, only to find Alyrra watching me sharply.

As I sit down once more, the knock comes again. This time, Alyrra calls out, “Enter.”

It is him. He steps in, closing the door behind him and then bowing to Alyrra. He flicks a single glance at me, an acknowledgment that merely places me as present in the room. I can’t read his emotions at all. My stomach tightens into a knot, though I know he can’t possibly pose the princess any danger. And if she establishes he’s to leave me alone, he will, won’t he?

“Captain Matsin,” she says. “I asked a favor of you this morning.”

I look at her sharply. What?

“Zayyida.”

“I trusted you to see to it in an honorable manner.”

He stiffens, and so do I, a dreadful realization creeping over me. Surely not—I must be mistaken.

“Why does my attendant have a bruise around her wrist?”

He pales slightly beneath the brown of his skin. His gaze flicks to me again. “Forgive me, zayyida. I did not intend to cause harm. I did not think I was that rough.”

“You—” I glance between them, trying desperately to understand.

“I am sorry, Kelari Amraeya,” Alyrra says with careful formality. “Zayyid Kestrin and I requested Captain Matsin to test your trustworthiness. As my attendant, you will be privy to a great many things that must not be shared. I needed to be certain that you would keep my confidence regardless of who approached you, or how. I did not intend for you to see into the grave this morning, but once you did, it seemed as good a test as any.”

I stare at her, willing her words back into her mouth. Willing them unspoken, unheard. She asked Matsin to corner me? I shake my head, as if I could undo this whole day by refusing it.

“Kelari Amraeya,” Matsin says quietly, “I beg your forgiveness. I meant to frighten you, and then only in order to test your honor. I did not mean to harm you.”

“I see,” I say, and have to swallow to wet my throat. “Well, I am not sorry that I kneed you and shoved you.”

His lips twitch. “It was well done, kelari. You protected yourself, and kept the princess’s confidence.”

Oh, indeed. I don’t need his praise to know that.

I push myself to my feet, anger and a sickening sense of betrayal warring for dominance in my breast. “Zayyida, I have had a long day. Permission to retire.”

Alyrra winces. “I am sorry this played out as it did, Amraeya.”

“I understand,” I say, although I don’t, really.

“You will attend me in the morning?”

It’s a question rather than an order, and in it I hear Alyrra’s concern that she has pushed me too far. Perhaps she has. I don’t know—I did not think this day could get any more unsettling. Now I don’t know what to think.

“With your permission, zayyida, I require some time to reflect.” I move past Captain Matsin toward the door, careful not to meet the princess’s gaze.

She nods. I let myself out at once. Unfortunately, Captain Matsin follows me, closing the door behind us.

“Kelari,” he says as I walk quickly down the hall to the attendants’ access door, my uneven gait loud in my ears.

I turn. “What do you want?”

“I—I asked your forgiveness,” he says, coming to a stop a few paces away. “Will you grant it?”

For a long moment, I consider him. He claimed he didn’t mean to harm me, and I can believe that—the bruise is no doubt because of how forcefully I yanked my hand out of his grip. But he did mean to frighten me, to bully me, depending on Alyrra to explain his actions away. All to assure themselves I would be loyal to her. It is a strange thing to realize, as I meet his gaze, that I can forgive what he has done, but I won’t forget it. “Yes,” I tell him.

He dips his head, but his eyes still watch me. Perhaps he’s as aware as I am that forgiveness does not mean everything. “And the princess? You will continue to serve her?”

“That is no concern of yours,” I say, and turn on my heel. He watches me in silence as I hobble to the attendants’ door, his gaze like a burr against my skin.

Halfway down the inner hallway toward my bedroom, I come to a halt. Mina will be there, and she’ll want to know what just transpired. I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to talk to anyone, really.

I turn around and stump back to the hall door. When I peek out, Captain Matsin is no longer in sight. No doubt he’s returned to the guard room. Well, then, I’ll just have to leave via the grand staircase and hope no one is standing at the bottom to watch me limp my way down.

My hopes are sadly unfounded, for when I am halfway down, a group of young noblemen appear, proceeding toward me from the hall below. Of course.

I keep my head bent and they pause at the bottom of the stair to allow me passage. It’s only as I reach the bottom that I realize the party contains Zayyid Kestrin, his attendants, and what appears to be another nobleman or two.

I step aside and curtsy, my cheeks burning.

“Is all well, Kelari Amraeya?” the prince asks, no doubt because I shouldn’t be using this stair without the princess. Or maybe because I look as upset as I feel.

I dip my head further. “Zayyid.”

He gestures to the man beside him as I rise. “Allow me