Sky Breaker (Night Spinner Duology), Addie Thorley [100 books to read in a lifetime txt] 📗

I refuse to take this moment from him. And he’s right. Namaag is unbelievable. I smile and hook my arm through his. “We made it,” I echo, “which raises the question, what are you, noble leader, doing back here with me?”

“Ziva thought it would be best if she approached the Namagaans first, alone, so I had a moment to spare.”

Of course Ziva wants to go alone. Then she can make it look like it’s only by her good grace and connections that we’re allowed into the city.

“Stop that.” Serik digs his elbow into my side. “I can hear every awful thought running through your head.”

“Stop listening to my thoughts if you don’t like them,” I say with a wry smile.

Serik tugs me closer so his warm side presses flush against mine. “I understand why you’re frustrated with her.”

“Frustrated?” I choke on a cynical laugh. “She tried to kill Orbai and made me look like an erratic, unhinged traitor.”

“She’s far from innocent, but your response had just as much to do with the shepherds’ reaction. You attacked Ziva’s starfire instead of the scout. For good reason, though,” he adds before I can get angry. “You had to. Sometimes we can’t stop believing in our friends, even when they seem hopeless and lost. You never know when circumstances will change. Or when new truth will come to light.”

He looks over at me with those earnest crescent-moon eyes, and I melt. Completely and utterly incapacitated by the closeness of his lips and the fluttering in my stomach.

“You’re announcing your thoughts again,” Serik whispers.

“Are you fonder of the message this time?” I ask.

“Much.” His gaze drops to my mouth, but he reluctantly pulls away. “There’s still one thing I don’t understand—what was Orbai even doing with that scout?”

“Kartok healed her with Loridium, a type of Zemyan magic. It bound her to him,” I mumble, hoping the words will hurt less if I only half say them.

“Is that why she didn’t come with us when we left the xanav?”

I nod.

“And you didn’t think it was important to tell me this?” Serik manages not to yell. Barely. “Skies, En. Temujin and Kartok know what she means to you. They know they can use her to manipulate you and endanger us.”

“I’m sorry,” I say softly.

Serik sighs. “I should get back, but I wanted to check on you and ask you to please help this to go smoothly. We need to convince the Namagaans this rebellion will work, which will never happen if they see us squabbling among ourselves. We need to present a united front, a capable—if not formidable—battalion.”

If anyone else was giving this speech, I would roll my eyes and shove them off, but I nod and say, “I know.”

“That means trusting me, and the group, to make the right decisions. And showing a willingness to trust our potential allies. And no more secrecy.”

“Isn’t that a little hypocritical?” I ask.

Serik’s brow crinkles. “What are you talking about?”

The shepherds are still keeping their distance, but I lower my voice and step closer anyway. “King Ihsan will never welcome us if he knows we’re being pursued by the Shoniin and the Zemyans. He’s notoriously stingy with aid. Namaag only supports neighboring nations if it doesn’t pose a threat to their own land and people. Which is one of the reasons I didn’t want to start our recruitment here. They’re the only Protected Territory that hasn’t been exploited by the Sky King because Ashkar is so dependent on their aqueducts, so they don’t share nearly as much hostility toward the Unified Empire.”

“We don’t technically know that Temujin and Kartok are coming, so we don’t need to tell them anything,” Serik says, and now I’m the one pinning him with a dubious look.

“I suppose we also don’t know that the sun will rise each morning, but it’s such a forgone conclusion, we don’t bother considering what would happen if it didn’t.”

“This definitely isn’t sun-level certainty,” Serik argues.

“What happens when Kartok and the Zemyans scale these gigantic trees to get to us? King Ihsan will feel used and blindsided. He won’t come to our aid and he definitely won’t join our rebellion.”

“I disagree. Fighting with us is preferable to being conquered by the Zemyans … and it doesn’t matter if it’s dishonest. It’s our only option. We just have to hope the scout is slow and the warriors Temujin and Kartok send are even slower. The grasslands are harsh this time of year, and they have no Sun Stoker.”

I gnaw on my lower lip and look up at the treetop city. “There’s so much that could go wrong….”

Serik takes my shoulders and forces me to look at him. “This is exactly what I’m talking about, En. Things could just as easily go right. Try to see the positive. We’ll never be able to convince the Namagaans to forge this alliance without your help, but we’re doomed before we even enter Uzul if you lead with suspicion and allow the past haunt you. Let it go—for yourself. For all of these people depending on us”—he motions to the shepherds—“and for your captive people in Verdenet.”

I stare into his eyes, so warm and soft and hopeful, despite everything. “Fine. Find me a shovel,” I say with a reluctant nod.

Serik’s face twists with confusion. “A shovel? Why do you need a shovel?”

“Because I’m finally ready to bury the past.”

CHAPTER NINE

GHOA

THE ZEMYANS LAUGH AND CONGRATULATE EACH OTHER AS they shove me into the back of a covered wagon. It reeks of sweat and vomit, and I cringe as my face smashes into the boards and slides through something wet and gritty.

Get up! Fight! Stop being pathetic.

But my mind can’t convince my body to move. Not even as the Zemyans spit into my hair and slam the door. I don’t see the point. I’m not the peerless commander I thought I was. My warriors left me. After I saved them. And if I move, I will have to accept that this is real. That all of