Rancher Dragon, Terry Bolryder [acx book reading TXT] 📗

heart.” He grinned. “And now you can come wanderin’.”

Beck’s chest felt like it was made of granite. Hard and cold.

He should give the letter to Sierra. Then he should make himself scarce.

She didn’t need a monster around anymore. She would probably still want him around; Beck knew that to be true.

Why hadn’t he been thinking more long term about this? About the fact that, at some point, Ross and his cronies would probably back off. And Beck would have no way to justify his nearness to Sierra.

Knowing what he was.

Sometimes it felt like she held his entire heart in the palm of her hand. Like she understood him better than anyone else. But he knew there were still some things he didn’t want her to know about him.

Things he’d never have her know, if possible.

But perhaps he didn’t have to tell her about the Ross note. He shook his head, ashamed of himself for even thinking it.

If TJ said she was safe, she was.

“Look, Beck,” TJ said, his expression sobering. “I did this for a reason. I’m real worried about the two of you. About how this will end up.”

Beck shoved his hands in his pockets. “What do you mean?”

TJ sighed. “That’s not temporary. I could see it in the looks between the two of you.”

Beck couldn’t really argue that he looked at Sierra like the world began and ended in her eyes.

“You really think it’s safe to settle down?” TJ asked. “There’s a reason I come grab you to wander. I mean, Dragonclaw has lots of space, so there’s not a lot of harm you could do there. But staying on this little homestead? There’s bound to be disaster.”

“There won’t be,” Beck said. “That was a freak incident that time…” His memory went white-hot with guilt and rage. Rage at himself for doing something so terrible and not even remembering.

For being as destructive as he’d grown up seeing mountain dragons could be.

He’d tried to escape that. Harrison and Clancy and Reno and Dallas all made Beck feel like one of them.

Not a monster.

“The others here don’t know you,” TJ said almost as if reading Beck’s mind. “Not like I do. They weren’t there.”

“You wouldn’t—”

“Of course not, Beck,” TJ said. “But as the one person who truly knows you, I have to ask you what the heck you’re doing endangering the life of someone you truly love.”

“I could never hurt her,” Beck said. “My dragon—”

“You don’t control him,” TJ said. “You never have. That thing is a monster.”

“You never judged me for being a mountain dragon.”

“No, and I never will,” TJ said, easing Beck’s nerves a bit. “In a way, it wasn’t your fault what happened that night. Because you didn’t know you were doing it. But it still happened, and it still killed people. And you not being aware of how it happened just means it could happen again and you wouldn’t be able to stop it.”

Beck froze because that made sense to him. He’d been trying to escape that moment in his past for so long.

Trying to forgive himself and say it was a fluke. That he wasn’t a monster.

But blood crying from the grave called out to him, and he couldn’t deny that around him, even his mate might be in danger.

He’d been more aware of this before Sierra.

Hell, he liked to get drunk whenever he felt his dragon might be coming out, just to restrain it, as it took a smaller form when he was inebriated.

It was a way to limit himself.

But his life lately had been more than getting drunk and flying around hopelessly, lying around in dragon form on his favorite part of the edge of Dragonclaw Ranch.

He had a home now. A woman who loved him.

He’d tried to stay far from her, but she’d kept inviting him into her life, closer and closer.

And Beck, damn him, hadn’t been able to resist.

“I know what you’re thinking,” TJ said. “It’s not fair. You found a way to be happy, finally. As your friend, I wish I could just give my blessing. But if I sat back and came back to a devastated Beck, after he killed his mate in a mudslide, then what kind of friend would I be?”

Beck blinked. Everything in him felt hollow and heavy at the same time. And confusing.

It was hard to be back in that place where everything felt out of control.

He was Beck from Dragonclaw Ranch. He had friends. Men he considered family. And Sierra.

“TJ…” Beck trailed off, not knowing what to say.

TJ’s eyes showed clear disappointment. “I didn’t think you could be this selfish, Beck. Not toward your mate.”

That was what did it. Beck suddenly had the image of Sierra, her beautiful face, her beautiful hands, disappearing under mud. Becoming gray before he could dig her out again.

Not knowing how it might happen…

TJ was right. It might have been hundreds of years since the catastrophe, but since no reason had been found, no prevention could be planned.

“You loved everyone in that town,” TJ said. “Hell, we were just mining up in the mountains, but all you did was come in for supplies a few times a month, and they loved you too. The kids would be like, ‘Beck is coming!’ Beck, if only it were just about your personality. So sweet, so giving. Hell, everyone in that town was crazy about you.”

“I thought about settling down there,” Beck said. “Letting you take the gold we’d mined and just staying there in peace.” His heart hurt so bad just thinking about it.

TJ’s expression was somber as well. “I hated waking you up that morning.”

All Beck had seen was a wash of mud where the town had once been.

And from then on, Beck had wanted to get close to no one. It had taken many years to forgive himself enough to even make friends with the other men at Dragonclaw Ranch.

They hadn’t bothered him when he’d first come looking for work. They didn’t mind his silence, and they appreciated his