Short Fiction, Leo Tolstoy [general ebook reader .txt] 📗

The old Devil lay down to sleep⁠—supperless.

The affair was told to Iván the Fool. People came and asked him, “What are we to do? A fine gentleman has turned up, who likes to eat and drink and dress well, but he does not like to work, does not beg in ‘Christ’s name,’ but only offers gold pieces to everyone. At first people gave him all he wanted, until they had plenty of gold pieces, but now no one gives him anything. What’s to be done with him? He will die of hunger before long.”

Iván listened.

“All right,” says he, “we must feed him. Let him live by turn at each house as a shepherd234 does.”

There was no help for it. The old Devil had to begin making the round.

In due course the turn came for him to go to Iván’s house. The old Devil came in to dinner, and the dumb girl was getting it ready.

She had often been deceived by lazy folk who came early to dinner⁠—without having done their share of work⁠—and ate up all the porridge, so it had occurred to her to find out the sluggards by their hands. Those who had horny hands, she put at the table, but the others got only the scraps that were left over.

The old Devil sat down at the table, but the dumb girl seized him by the hands and looked at them⁠—there were no hard places there: the hands were clean and smooth, with long nails. The dumb girl gave a grunt and pulled the Devil away from the table. And Iván’s wife said to him, “Don’t be offended, fine gentleman. My sister-in-law does not allow anyone to come to table who hasn’t horny hands. But wait awhile, after the folk have eaten you shall have what is left.”

The old Devil was offended that in the King’s house they wished him to feed like a pig. He said to Iván, “It is a foolish law you have in your kingdom that everyone must work with his hands. It’s your stupidity that invented it. Do people work only with their hands? What do you think wise men work with?”

And Iván said, “How are we fools to know? We do most of our work with our hands and our backs.”

“That is because you are fools! But I will teach you how to work with the head. Then you will know that it is more profitable to work with the head than with the hands.”

Iván was surprised.

“If that is so,” said he, “then there is some sense in calling us fools!”

And the old Devil went on. “Only it is not easy to work with one’s head. You give me nothing to eat, because I have no hard places on my hands, but you do not know that it is a hundred times more difficult to work with the head. Sometimes one’s head quite splits.”

Iván became thoughtful.

“Why, then, friend, do you torture yourself so? Is it pleasant when the head splits? Would it not be better to do easier work with your hands and your back?”

But the Devil said, “I do it all out of pity for you fools. If I didn’t torture myself you would remain fools forever. But, having worked with my head, I can now teach you.”

Iván was surprised.

“Do teach us!” said he, “so that when our hands get cramped we may use our heads for a change.”

And the Devil promised to teach the people. So Iván gave notice throughout the kingdom that a fine gentleman had come who would teach everybody how to work with their heads; that with the head more could be done than with the hands; and that the people ought all to come and learn.

Now there was in Iván’s kingdom a high tower, with many steps leading up to a lantern on the top. And Iván took the gentleman up there that everyone might see him.

So the gentleman took his place on the top of the tower and began to speak, and the people came together to see him. They thought the gentleman would really show them how to work with the head without using the hands. But the old Devil only taught them in many words how they might live without working. The people could make nothing of it. They looked and considered, and at last went off to attend to their affairs.

The old Devil stood on the tower a whole day, and after that a second day, talking all the time. But standing there so long he grew hungry, and the fools never thought of taking food to him up in the tower. They thought that if he could work with his head better than with his hands, he could at any rate easily provide himself with bread.

The old Devil stood on the top of the tower yet another day, talking away. People came near, looked on for awhile, and then went away.

And Iván asked, “Well, has the gentleman begun to work with his head yet?”

“Not yet,” said the people; “he’s still spouting away.”

The old Devil stood on the tower one day more, but he began to grow weak, so that he staggered and hit his head against one of the pillars of the lantern. One of the people noticed it and told Iván’s wife, and she ran to her husband, who was in the field.

“Come and look,” said she. “They say the gentleman is beginning to work with his head.”

Iván was surprised.

“Really?” says he, and he turned his horse round, and went to the tower. And by the time he reached the tower the old Devil was quite exhausted with hunger, and was staggering and knocking his head against the pillars. And just as Iván arrived at the tower, the Devil stumbled, fell, and came bump, bump, bump, straight down the stairs to the bottom, counting each step with a knock of his head!

“Well!” says Iván, “the fine gentleman told the truth when he said that ‘sometimes one’s