Time Jacker, Aaron Crash [most important books of all time txt] 📗

Jack glanced in the rearview mirror. “So you’re a vegan angel?”

“Veganism is the practice of not eating any meat or animal products.” Gabby grinned. “Yes. I am a vegan. Unlike some people in this car, I don’t want anyone or anything hurt as I move this body through the world.”

Bailey returned her hand to Jack’s arm. “Bacon double cheeseburgers for everyone!”

Gabby gasped.

Jack wasn’t sure how this was going to work. Or where everyone was going to sleep. He only had a small apartment. And what was he going to do for money now?

Jack drove straight to his apartment, parked on the street, then climbed up the steps with the angel and demon behind him. For now, they just looked like women. That was good. He didn’t want the neighbors talking.

Inside his place, he motioned around. “Make yourselves at home. If you’re going to fight, do it quietly. And no killing each other.”

He wasn’t going to fuck around. He got some old Vicodin from his medicine cabinet, gulped it down with some water from the sink, and then crashed on his bed.

He wasn’t sure which of the women brought him the wet washcloth. He would’ve bet it was the angel, but instead he smelled Bailey’s musky perfume. Even after her two showers at the Tarrington mansion, she still exuded that spicy fragrance. How had Mac Satterstrum described it at the bank last week? Like sex itself?

Well, it wasn’t Bailey who stole Annie, it was Horns, better known as Kerrata. And the Interim creature was planning something... something that Gabby might know about. He’d talk to her once he was able to think without it feeling like his brain would melt out his ears.

He woke, his stomach twisted from the drugs, but his head was better. He pulled himself up and padded out into the living room.

Gabby sat in his easy chair with her sheathed sword in front of her. She wasn’t sporting wings or a halo, but her horn was on the table. She glanced at him, then the door, then down to the floor. “Uh. Hi. Bailey went shopping. I’m not quite sure what that is. I’m assuming it has something to do with a market and trading goods and services for some kind of currency. However, your world is very strange. And I promised I wouldn’t move a muscle. I didn’t want to wake you, and Bailey said you could sense any movement. I’m very thirsty, however. Is that normal?”

Jack laughed a little. Bailey had totally pranked the angel. He went to the refrigerator, but all he had cold was beer. With her new body, the angel probably needed electrolytes. He pulled some Powerade—Mountain Berry Blast—out of a cupboard. It was warm, so he threw some ice in a glass and poured the drink over it.

He gave her the glass. “You can move. Bailey was just messing with you.”

Gabby sipped her drink. She let out a squeal. “It’s so sweet and delicious! Cold and refreshing! Is this a special drink of your kind?”

“Wow, you are new,” Jack said. He sat on the couch. “How old are you anyway?”

The angel beamed at him. “I’m young, but I am very ambitious. Most of the time I spent training in the legion, for the Tempus Bellum, but we can’t talk about that. Because it’s happening right now, will happen, and has already been happening. So don’t ask. I’m a billion years old, give or take. Like I said, I was training for most of that time, not really in the Tempus Influunt. Training and researching. I love to read. Do you like to read, Jack?”

“A billion years old?” he asked.

“About that. But it’s hard to say. I stepped into your world at the stroke of the New Year, or that’s how you mark it on your calendar. I was at a New Year’s Eve party! Bill and Steph were there, and they kissed for the first time! They’re still together. They have a lot of Nefesh when they make love. It’s so sweet. I visit them from time to time. Actually, I spend an embarrassing amount of time at their house. But that’s over now, I suppose, since I have this body, and a mission. To save Annie! And to stop you from stopping time. That kind of echoes. Is there a better way to say it? Ah, yes, the English language has so many different words. To prevent you from stopping time.”

“Prevent me?” Jack asked.

“Well, once you save Annie. Look, Jack, you don’t want to get involved in the Tempus Bellum.”

“Which you can’t talk about.”

“Which I can’t talk about. Correct.” She sipped her Powerade.

He had words to Google. She couldn’t stop him from grabbing his phone. He checked the internet, and as he thought, Tempus Bellum translated into time war. Is happening. Will happen. Has always been happening.

What did that mean, exactly?

Jack got himself some Tums, then grabbed a glass of water. He sat back down. “Bailey isn’t here, so tell me what Kerrata is planning.”

“Normally when the Interim drink Kairos from their victims, they go for the quick minutes. They drink and move on. Yes, it’s not good, because humans only have so much Kairos. Once they run out, they die. Very sad. But there are all sorts of angels watching over humanity, and if an Interim gets too hungry, we slay them. Or there’s a chance a demon finds it and eats it. Demons like eating the Interim.”

“Also known as Fugs.” Jack nodded.

“That’s so vulgar!” Gabby said, but she was smiling. “But yes. Anyway, you humans sure do procreate quickly, and there’s only a set number of angels, and so we’ve fallen behind. Two thousand years ago, the world only had 255,392,029 humans as of the summer equinox. Now? There’s nearly eight billion. That’s a lot. So the angels do what we can. There have also been...casualties. But I can’t talk about that.”

“Because of the Time War.” Jack quirked an