Gifting Fire, Alina Boyden [books to read for self improvement .txt] 📗

I had intended to let myself have a moment, and to find my control again before Hina reached me. But she was at my bedside before I realized she was there. I looked up, startled by her presence, and one look at the fury in her hazel eyes told me that my plans were pointless. She wasn’t going to let Karim leave this place with his life, not after the way he had killed her beloved brother. She didn’t know me, and if she had ever trusted me to fight back, I’d lost that faith now, letting her see me this way, sobbing like a child.

“I . . .” I didn’t know what to say. I frantically wiped my face with my dupatta, knowing it was too little, too late.

“Arjun told me your plan,” she said, her voice taut with anger.

“I can’t let them kill my sisters, Hina.” I was pleading with her, more like the subordinate than the ruler. “I can’t . . .”

“He killed my brother,” she reminded me.

“And he will pay for it.”

She rolled her eyes, and I couldn’t blame her. I must have looked so pathetic, crying like that, but the scorn I saw on her face lit a fire inside me. The tears dried up as a familiar rage rose to replace them.

“He will pay for this,” I declared, looking her right in the eyes so she would see the truth of my words. “I did not let myself be fucked by every rich bastard in Bikampur for it to end like this. I did not risk my death or mutilation every night, stealing from them, for it to end like this. I did not climb a cliff and steal back my zahhak just to give up now. But he has us outmaneuvered for the moment. It would be idiotic to fight him here, on the ground of his choosing. You never let the enemy choose the time and place of battle. So, we make a tactical withdrawal. We let him think he has won. And then, when the time is right, when the place is right, we kill him, and his father, and we make sure that no Mahisagari soldier ever dares set foot in Zindh again.”

“All right,” Hina allowed, and she smiled slightly. I thought maybe we finally understood each other. “So how do we kill him? What is this plan of yours?”

“Arjun will gather fire zahhaks in Registan. To communicate with him, I will need Sunil Kalani’s men, loyal river zahhak riders. Karim would never permit them to come and go as they pleased, but the eunuch here, Shiv, is trustworthy, and he would have access to servants and workmen. He could pass messages for us. Meanwhile, Sunil will continue to raise the levies of Zindh, gathering the army we need to fight.”

“How do you intend to escape and reach this army?” she asked.

“I don’t,” I said. “I intend to fly as part of Karim’s aerial armada. I will need an external threat, some force that will look foreign enough that Karim will believe that I will fly for him. And while he is busy with the invaders, we will strike him from all sides, and kill him, and his father with him.”

“It could work,” Hina allowed, “but how do you intend to ensure this external threat arises? What if nobody tries to invade Zindh?”

She had a point. We all thought Safavia would try invading before long, that they would strike at Ahura or Kadiro, but what if they didn’t? What if Ismail was distracted by something else? And even if he did attack, where was the guarantee that he wouldn’t just kill me too, once Karim was out of the way?

“Haider . . .”

Hina quirked a copper-tinged eyebrow. “Who?”

“Prince Haider of Safavia,” I said, my heart beating a little faster. “When I was little, he was a very close friend. One of my uncles rebelled against my father, and there was a civil war. It looked for a time like my father might lose, so I was sent to the Safavian court to keep me safe. I lived with Prince Haider of Safavia and Princess Tamara of Khevsuria for two years. They treated me very kindly. If I could get a letter to Haider, I think he would come for me.”

“You think?” Hina asked.

I shrugged. “It was a long time ago. We were children then, and he’s a man grown now. But I think he would. Especially if I offered him Ahura.”

“And what is my place in all of this?” Hina asked.

“You’ll be kept safe,” I replied. “The Zindhis will fight for you and no one else, so you must live. Sending you to Bikampur probably makes the most sense. Arjun could ensure you are well protected until the time is right.”

“No.” She gave a toss of her head. “No, I’m not leaving Zindh. This is my home. I will stay here until the fighting is done.”

“Do you have a fortress? A place the Mahisagaris can’t find you?”

“No, you’re not understanding me,” she said. “I’m not leaving you. I’m staying with you, to make sure that you don’t forget your promises.”

“I would never forget them,” I replied. “And if you think for one second that I want to marry Karim after what he did to me . . .”

She held up a hand for calm. “I get that. But you can’t fight if you’re dead. You’ll need bodyguards you can trust. You’ll need friends.”

“I have my sisters. Karim won’t hurt them, but if you stay, I can’t guarantee your safety,” I replied. “I can negotiate it, but Karim and Ahmed can always go back on their word.”

“I’ll take my chances,” she said. “If this plan doesn’t work, I want to be close enough to stick a dagger in Karim’s back. The only way to do that is to stay close to you. So, you will negotiate a place for me as one of your handmaidens, or I won’t agree to help you.”

“I can do that,” I