Everything We Keep, Di Walker [best pdf reader for ebooks txt] 📗

onto the road. It happened so fast. She was there and then she disappeared. The other mum grabbed me and turned me around. She hugged me tight. I remember her saying, ‘Oh, no, no, no, don’t look honey, stay with me ... ’ She smelt like Summer Flowers you that perfume? It’s odd that I remember that. Mum used to wear it too. Then Mum ran past me towards Nora. I could hear her scream out her name, Katherine. I still can.’

‘Nora! Nora!’

Katherine lowered her head and placed her other hand onto Agatha’s, both hands hugging hers. She didn’t say anything; she didn’t need to.

‘The rest is a blur. There were people everywhere. The other mum put me in the front seat of her car and stayed with me. An ambulance came. I remember different people talking about who would look after me, because Mum was with Nora. I went to someone’s house. I remember no one really talking to me, just lots of hushed voices. Then Dad turned up, it was dark by then and he said we were going home, that Mum was waiting at home. I remember his face being all red and puffy, but he didn’t look at me.’

Agatha let go of Katherine’s hands and got up. She went to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. As she walked back, she used the bottom of her t-shirt to wipe her face.

She sat down again, but this time, after having a sip of water, she folded her arms in front of her. Katherine kept leaning forwards resting her hands on the table.

‘I remember Dad asking me, when we got home, ‘Why didn’t you hold her hand, Agatha?’ I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t usually hold Nora’s hand, Mum used to. She had one of us on each side. She always held our hands when we walked to and from school. I didn’t know I was meant to hold her hand, Katherine, I really didn’t. If they had told me to, I would have done it. I wouldn’t have let go.’

‘I know you would have, sweetheart. It was an accident.’

Agatha shrugged.

‘That’s when it all started. After Nora’s funeral, Mum wouldn’t leave the house for a long time. People brought food and stuff, so she didn’t need to. I remember other mums would take me to school, but that was only for a while. I suppose there’s a rule about how long you help people for. So, after a while I had to walk myself. Mum never came back to that school, ever.’

Katherine got up from the table and turned on the kettle. She stood at the counter and watched Agatha. She got out a teacup and returned to the table.

‘Dad kept going to work for a long time but then he stopped going. I remember he would get angry that the house was getting messy, that the washing up wasn’t getting done. It happened so slowly, the change, that it wasn’t really noticeable. I mean I notice it now, but back then, it was one little pile, then another . . . ’

Katherine looked at the clock. 0732. The kettle boiled and switched itself off.

‘By the time I got to Grade 4 there was no going back. I remember that the house was so full of stuff that when the washing machine broke down, Mum wouldn’t let anyone in, you know to fix it. So, it stayed broken. I remember taking my school clothes to the neighbour, when it first broke, and used their machine. There’s only so many times you can do that before they get annoyed and there’s only so many times you can go to school in dirty clothes before everyone teases you. But the teasing had started a long time before that.’

Katherine returned to the table with two cups of tea.

‘So, you stopped going to school,’ Katherine said.

Agatha nodded. ‘And that’s when social services got involved and a whole lot of people, before Nell, started coming to the house. Each time they did, things just got worse. They would come in and remove stuff and that would just send Mum into a panic. She would disappear day after day, each time returning with stuff she had found, junk really. And the piles would start all over again.’

‘What happened this last time, for Nell to get involved?’

‘This is not the first time I’ve been removed from them, Katherine. It happens a couple of times a year. It was because of school. I’ve hardly been since about Grade 4 and because I’m meant to be at high school things got brought up again.’ Agatha shrugged and took a sip from her cup. ‘I don’t like school, Katherine, any school.’

‘I’m just curious, Agatha. If you have been in other home placements, why did you come back to me?’

‘You weren’t the first one who said I was welcome back, but you were the first one who gave me a way to get back. I figured that you meant it. People say a lot of things, but they hardly ever mean it.’

‘I did. I still do.’

‘And that’s why I couldn’t leave.’

‘You went to where I would find you.’

‘I hoped you would.’

‘It’s zero seven five one.’ Katherine stated.

‘Yep. School. I know.’

‘We have more to talk about,’ Katherine said, ‘but not all today. We have time. Lots of time.’

‘I’m glad I told you. I really thought you knew everything.’

The two got up and put their bowls and cups in the dishwasher. Agatha picked up the dishcloth and wiped down the bench.

‘Why don’t you get your suitcase and we’ll unpack it together,’ Katherine said. ‘Then I’ll make your lunch.’

Agatha stopped in the doorway to the hall, turned and came back to Katherine. For the next few moments, she hugged Katherine, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, her eyes closed and pictured her mother, hugging her, in her white floral dress.

26

At 0847, Katherine pulled into a parking space in the Reception carpark. There were other students hurrying