The Duchess of Malfi, John Webster [famous ebook reader .TXT] 📗

’em. This will gain
Access to private lodgings, where yourself
May, like a politic dormouse⁠— Bosola

As I have seen some
Feed in a lord’s dish, half asleep, not seeming
To listen to any talk; and yet these rogues
Have cut his throat in a dream. What’s my place?
The provisorship o’ the horse? Say, then, my corruption
Grew out of horse-dung: I am your creature.

Ferdinand

Away!

Exit. Bosola

Let good men, for good deeds, covet good fame,
Since place and riches oft are bribes of shame.
Sometimes the devil doth preach.

Exit. Scene III

Malfi. Gallery in the Duchess’ palace.

Enter Ferdinand, Duchess, Cardinal, and Cariola. Cardinal

We are to part from you; and your own discretion
Must now be your director.

Ferdinand

You are a widow:
You know already what man is; and therefore
Let not youth, high promotion, eloquence⁠—

Cardinal

No,
Nor anything without the addition, honour,
Sway your high blood.

Ferdinand

Marry! they are most luxurious16
Will wed twice.

Cardinal

O, fie!

Ferdinand

Their livers are more spotted
Than Laban’s sheep.17

Duchess

Diamonds are of most value,
They say, that have pass’d through most jewellers’ hands.

Ferdinand

Whores by that rule are precious.

Duchess

Will you hear me?
I’ll never marry.

Cardinal

So most widows say;
But commonly that motion lasts no longer
Than the turning of an hourglass: the funeral sermon
And it end both together.

Ferdinand

Now hear me:
You live in a rank pasture, here, i’ the court;
There is a kind of honeydew that’s deadly;
’T will poison your fame; look to’t. Be not cunning;
For they whose faces do belie their hearts
Are witches ere they arrive at twenty years,
Ay, and give the devil suck.

Duchess

This is terrible good counsel.

Ferdinand

Hypocrisy is woven of a fine small thread,
Subtler than Vulcan’s engine:18 yet, believe’t,
Your darkest actions, nay, your privat’st thoughts,
Will come to light.

Cardinal

You may flatter yourself,
And take your own choice; privately be married
Under the eaves of night⁠—

Ferdinand

Think’t the best voyage
That e’er you made; like the irregular crab,
Which, though’t goes backward, thinks that it goes right
Because it goes its own way: but observe,
Such weddings may more properly be said
To be executed than celebrated.

Cardinal

The marriage night
Is the entrance into some prison.

Ferdinand

And those joys,
Those lustful pleasures, are like heavy sleeps
Which do fore-run man’s mischief.

Cardinal

Fare you well.
Wisdom begins at the end: remember it.

Exit. Duchess

I think this speech between you both was studied,
It came so roundly off.

Ferdinand

You are my sister;
This was my father’s poniard, do you see?
I’d be loth to see’t look rusty, ’cause ’twas his.
I would have you give o’er these chargeable revels:
A visor and a mask are whispering-rooms
That were never built for goodness⁠—fare ye well⁠—
And women like variety of courtship.
What cannot a neat knave with a smooth tale
Make a woman believe? Farewell, lusty widow.

Exit. Duchess

Shall this move me? If all my royal kindred
Lay in my way unto this marriage,
I’d make them my low footsteps. And even now,
Even in this hate, as men in some great battles,
By apprehending danger, have achiev’d
Almost impossible actions (I have heard soldiers say so),
So I through frights and threatenings will assay
This dangerous venture. Let old wives report
I wink’d and chose a husband.⁠—Cariola,
To thy known secrecy I have given up
More than my life⁠—my fame.

Cariola

Both shall be safe;
For I’ll conceal this secret from the world
As warily as those that trade in poison
Keep poison from their children.

Duchess

Thy protestation
Is ingenious and hearty; I believe it.
Is Antonio come?

Cariola

He attends you.

Duchess

Good dear soul,
Leave me; but place thyself behind the arras,
Where thou mayst overhear us. Wish me good speed;
For I am going into a wilderness,
Where I shall find nor path nor friendly clue
To be my guide.

Cariola goes behind the arras. Enter Antonio.

I sent for you: sit down;
Take pen and ink, and write: are you ready?

Antonio

Yes.

Duchess

What did I say?

Antonio

That I should write somewhat.

Duchess

O, I remember.
After these triumphs and this large expense
It’s fit, like thrifty husbands,19 we inquire
What’s laid up for tomorrow.

Antonio

So please your beauteous excellence.

Duchess

Beauteous!
Indeed, I thank you. I look young for your sake;
You have ta’en my cares upon you.

Antonio

I’ll fetch your grace
The particulars of your revenue and expense.

Duchess

O, you are
An upright treasurer: but you mistook;
For when I said I meant to make inquiry
What’s laid up for tomorrow, I did mean
What’s laid up yonder for me.

Antonio

Where?

Duchess

In heaven.
I am making my will (as ’tis fit princes should,
In perfect memory), and, I pray, sir, tell me,
Were not one better make it smiling, thus,
Than in deep groans and terrible ghastly looks,
As if the gifts we parted with procur’d20
That violent distraction?

Antonio

O, much better.

Duchess

If I had a husband now, this care were quit:
But I intend to make you overseer.
What good deed shall we first remember? Say.

Antonio

Begin with that first good deed began i’ the world
After man’s creation, the sacrament of marriage;
I’d have you first provide for a good husband;
Give him all.

Duchess

All!

Antonio

Yes, your excellent self.

Duchess

In a winding-sheet?

Antonio

In a couple.

Duchess

Saint Winifred, that were a strange will!

Antonio

’Twere stranger21 if there were no will in you
To marry again.

Duchess

What do you think of marriage?

Antonio

I take’t, as those that deny purgatory,
It locally contains or heaven or hell;
There’s no third place in’t.

Duchess

How do you affect it?

Antonio

My banishment, feeding my melancholy,
Would often reason thus.

Duchess

Pray, let’s hear it.

Antonio

Say a man never marry, nor have children,
What takes that from him? Only the bare name
Of being a father, or the weak delight
To see the little wanton ride a-cock-horse
Upon a painted stick, or hear him chatter
Like a taught starling.

Duchess

Fie, fie, what’s