The Alchemist, Ben Jonson [best short novels TXT] 📗

know, I showed the statute to you. Face

You did so.

Dapper

And will I tell then! By this hand of flesh,
Would it might never write good court-hand more,
If I discover. What do you think of me,
That I am a chiaus?

Face

What’s that?

Dapper

The Turk was here.
As one would say, do you think I am a Turk?

Face

I’ll tell the Doctor so.

Dapper

Do, good sweet Captain.

Face

Come, noble Doctor, pray thee let’s prevail;
This is the gentleman, and he is no chiaus.

Subtle

Captain, I have returned you all my answer.
I would do much, sir, for your love⁠—But this
I neither may, nor can.

Face

Tut, do not say so.
You deal now with a noble fellow, Doctor,
One that will thank you richly; and he is no chiaus:
Let that, sir, move you.

Subtle

Pray you, forbear⁠—

Face

He has
Four angels here.

Subtle

You do me wrong, good sir.

Face

Doctor, wherein? To tempt you with these spirits?

Subtle

To tempt my art and love, sir, to my peril.
Fore heaven, I scarce can think you are my friend,
That so would draw me to apparent danger.

Face

I draw you! A horse draw you, and a halter,
You, and your flies together⁠—

Dapper

Nay, good Captain.

Face

That know no difference of men.

Subtle

Good words, sir.

Face

Good deeds, sir, Doctor Dogs-meat. ’Slight, I bring you
No cheating Clim o’ the Cloughs or Claribels,
That look as big as five-and-fifty, and flush;
And spit out secrets like hot custard⁠—

Dapper

Captain!

Face

Nor any melancholic under-scribe,
Shall tell the vicar; but a special gentle,
That is the heir to forty marks a year,
Consorts with the small poets of the time,
Is the sole hope of his old grandmother;
That knows the law, and writes you six fair hands,
Is a fine clerk, and has his ciphering perfect.
Will take his oath o’ the Greek Testament,
If need be, in his pocket; and can court
His mistress out of Ovid.

Dapper

Nay, dear Captain⁠—

Face

Did you not tell me so?

Dapper

Yes; but I’d have you
Use master Doctor with some more respect.

Face

Hang him, proud stag, with his broad velvet head!⁠—
But for your sake, I’d choke, ere I would change
An article of breath with such a puckfist:
Come, let’s be gone.

Going. Subtle

Pray you let me speak with you.

Dapper

His worship calls you, Captain.

Face

I am sorry
I e’er embarked myself in such a business.

Dapper

Nay, good sir; he did call you.

Face

Will he take then?

Subtle

First, hear me⁠—

Face

Not a syllable, ’less you take.

Subtle

Pray you, sir⁠—

Face

Upon no terms but an assumpsit.

Subtle

Your humour must be law.
He takes the four angels.

Face

Why now, sir, talk.
Now I dare hear you with mine honour. Speak.
So may this gentleman too.

Subtle

Why, sir⁠—
Offering to whisper Face.

Face

No whispering.

Subtle

Fore heaven, you do not apprehend the loss
You do yourself in this.

Face

Wherein? For what?

Subtle

Marry, to be so importunate for one,
That, when he has it, will undo you all:
He’ll win up all the money in the town.

Face

How!

Subtle

Yes, and blow up gamester after gamester,
As they do crackers in a puppet-play.
If I do give him a familiar,
Give you him all you play for; never set him:
For he will have it.

Face

You are mistaken, Doctor.
Why he does ask one but for cups and horses,
A rifling fly; none of your great familiars.

Dapper

Yes, Captain, I would have it for all games.

Subtle

I told you so.

Face

Taking Dapper aside.
’Slight, that is a new business!
I understood you, a tame bird, to fly
Twice in a term, or so, on Friday nights,
When you had left the office, for a nag
Of forty or fifty shillings.

Dapper

Ay, ’tis true, sir;
But I do think now I shall leave the law,
And therefore⁠—

Face

Why, this changes quite the case.
Do you think that I dare move him?

Dapper

If you please, sir;
All’s one to him, I see.

Face

What! For that money?
I cannot with my conscience; nor should you
Make the request, methinks.

Dapper

No, sir, I mean
To add consideration.

Face

Why then, sir,
I’ll try.⁠—
Goes to Subtle.
Say that it were for all games, Doctor.

Subtle

I say then, not a mouth shall eat for him
At any ordinary, but on the score,
That is a gaming mouth, conceive me.

Face

Indeed!

Subtle

He’ll draw you all the treasure of the realm,
If it be set him.

Face

Speak you this from art?

Subtle

Ay, sir, and reason too, the ground of art.
He is of the only best complexion,
The Queen of Fairy loves.

Face

What! Is he?

Subtle

Peace.
He’ll overhear you. Sir, should she but see him⁠—

Face

What?

Subtle

Do not you tell him.

Face

Will he win at cards too?

Subtle

The spirits of dead Holland, living Isaac,
You’d swear, were in him; such a vigorous luck
As cannot be resisted. ’Slight, he’ll put
Six of your gallants to a cloak, indeed.

Face

A strange success, that some man shall be born to.

Subtle

He hears you, man⁠—

Dapper

Sir, I’ll not be ingrateful.

Face

Faith, I have confidence in his good nature:
You hear, he says he will not be ingrateful.

Subtle

Why, as you please; my venture follows yours.

Face

Troth, do it, Doctor; think him trusty, and make him.
He may make us both happy in an hour;
Win some five thousand pound, and send us two on’t.

Dapper

Believe it, and I will, sir.

Face

And you shall, sir.
Takes him aside.
You have heard all?

Dapper

No, what was’t? Nothing, I, sir.

Face

Nothing!

Dapper

A little, sir.

Face

Well, a rare star
Reigned at your birth.

Dapper

At mine, sir! No.

Face

The Doctor
Swears that you are⁠—

Subtle

Nay, Captain, you’ll tell all now.

Face

Allied to the Queen of Fairy.

Dapper

Who! That I am?
Believe it, no such matter⁠—

Face

Yes, and that
You were born with a cawl on your head.

Dapper

Who says so?

Face

Come,
You know it well enough, though you dissemble it.

Dapper

I’fac, I do not; you are mistaken.

Face

How!
Swear by your fac, and in a thing so known
Unto the Doctor? How shall we, sir, trust you
In the other matter? Can we ever think,
When you have won five or six