Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

said he loved me, and he reminded me of

when I had said I loved him.’

‘When did you say so?’ I demanded.

‘When I fell off the gate in the courtyard and he

picked me up.’

‘But you were seven years old!’

‘Of course, it was just a childish thing to say at the time,

but the more I saw of him here, the more I became convinced I was in love with him in earnest. Only I did not

like to think of deceiving you. I wanted everything to be

open. I told him he must ask you for my hand in the ordinary way, but he said you would not let us marry until I

was eighteen, and that it would be a waste of three precious

years of our life together. He said we should elope, and then

send you a letter from the Lake District afterwards.’

‘And did you agree to this?’ I asked, stricken.

Her voice dropped.

‘I thought it sounded like an adventure. But now that

I see you, and know how much it grieves you, it does not

seem to be like an adventure at all.’

‘It is not. It is trickery of the basest kind. He has made

love to you in order to gain your fortune, and in order to

hurt me! To persuade you to forget friends and family

and run away with him to your utter ruin is monstrous!’

‘No!’ she exclaimed. ‘It is not so. He loves me.’

I saw the fear in her eyes and I did not want to go on.

For her to learn that the rogue had never loved her must

hurt her. But I could not let her continue under such a

misapprehension.

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‘I do not want to tell you this, Georgiana,’ I said softly,

‘but I must. He does not love you. He has used you.’

At this she broke down. I was helpless in the face of

her tears. I did not know what to do, how to comfort

her, and in that moment I missed my mother more than

I have ever done. She would have known what to do. She

would have known what to say. She would have known

how to comfort her daughter, whose affections had been

played upon. I could only stand helplessly by and wait for

Georgiana’s grief to spend itself.

When her tears began to subside, I handed her my

handkerchief. She took it and blew her nose.

‘I must speak to Mrs Younge and make sure she knows

what has been going on behind her back,’ I said. ‘It has

been negligent of her not to notice.’

Something in Georgiana’s expression stopped me.

‘It was behind her back?’ I asked.

Georgiana looked down into her lap.

‘She helped me plan the elopement.’

I felt myself grow grim.

‘Did she indeed?’

Georgiana nodded miserably. I was cut to the heart by

the sight of it. For my sister’s happiness to be destroyed

by such a worthless man!

I put my hand on her shoulder.

‘Never fear, Georgie,’ I said, overcome with tenderness. ‘When you are older you will meet a man who

will love you for yourself. A good-natured, charming,

respectable man who is liked by your family. A man

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who will ask me for your hand in the proper manner.

There will be no need for an elopement.You will have

a grand wedding, with splendid wedding clothes and a

honeymoon wherever you wish.’

She tried to smile, and she put her hand on mine.

‘I have been a sore trial to you,’ she said.

‘Never,’ I told her gently.

I wanted to find something to distract her thoughts

from their unhappy path. I glanced around the room and

my eye came to rest on one of her sketches.

‘This is well done,’ I said. ‘I see you have caught the

fishing boats just coming in from the sea.’

‘Yes, I had to get up very early to catch them.The fishermen were surprised to see me sitting there,’ she said.

I was pleased to see that she put aside my handkerchief as she took the sketch, and to hear that her voice

was stronger.

‘Perhaps you would like to finish it. Can you do so

indoors, or would you need to go out again?’

‘No, I can do it here. I have done enough to show me

what is needed.’

‘Good.Then I will leave you for a few minutes whilst

I talk to Mrs Younge.’

‘You will not be angry with her?’ asked Georgiana.

‘I will be very angry with her. She will pack her bags

and leave this house within the hour.’

My conversation with Mrs Younge was not pleasant.

First of all she denied all knowledge of a friendship

between my sister and Wickham, saying she had never

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admitted him to the house and indeed that she did not

know such a man.

To hear her call my sister a liar made me more angry

than I have ever been and she shrank, admitting at last that

she had encouraged Georgiana’s friendship with him.

Upon further enquiry I found that Mrs Younge had known

Wickham previously, and had planned the first meeting

between him and Georgiana. She had then told him where

they would be every day, so that he could arrange several

further ‘chance’ encounters. After this she had encouraged

Georgiana to invite him to the house, and had taught her

to see him, first as a friend and then as a lover.

‘And why shouldn’t I?’ she asked when I berated

her. ‘After he’s been so badly dealt with by you. Why

shouldn’t he have what’s owing to him, and a little bit

of fun besides?’

I had been going to allow her an hour in which to

pack, but I changed my mind.

‘You will leave this house immediately,’ I said to her

coldly. ‘I will send your boxes on.’

She seemed about to refuse, when one glance at my

face told her it would be unwise. She muttered curses

under her breath, but put on her cloak and bonnet, then

gathering up her basket she left the house.

When my anger had cooled, I wrote to Wickham, Mrs

Younge having given me his address, telling him