Can’t Hurry Love, Nadine Millard [10 best novels of all time .TXT] 📗

He’d moved on enough from her infidelity to only wish her well.

Steeling himself for whatever he was about to face, he opened the door to the apartment. She wasn’t on the couch, but the blankets he’d used last night were folded and stacked neatly on one of the cushions. He’d given her the bedroom last night, having refused her less-than-subtle efforts to get him to join her in there.

“Elaine, you know we’re divorced,” he said, trying to stay calm while inside he was in turmoil.

He felt a furious, black anger toward his ex-wife. But more so toward himself. However, he didn’t know her mental state and couldn’t risk her leaving and endangering herself.

Her smile was smug and confident.

“We’ll see,” she said. “Night, darling.”

That was the last he’d seen of her. She’d been asleep when he left that morning.

In between calling Beth, he’d called Elaine to make sure she was still in the apartment. But the number for her had been disconnected.

There was music coming from the sound system, so he hoped she was still here. Dropping his bag and keys, he stepped farther into the apartment.

“Elaine?”

“Darling, you’re home!”

She appeared from the kitchen, wearing an apron. Did he even own an apron? Josh had no idea.

“Dinner will be in about ten minutes, so you have time to freshen up a little.” She smiled.

What the hell?

“Er — you cooked?” he asked, keeping his tone even, studying her for signs that she was on something.

Her cheeks were a little flushed, but her eyes were clear, the pupils a normal size. Her hands seemed steady.

She didn’t appear to be agitated. But he felt unsettled.

“Of course I cooked.” She laughed airily.

In all their time together, he’d never known her to cook. Not once.

“Dessert was beyond me, so I stopped by that blond woman’s place.”

His blood froze in his veins, thinking of her at the bakery.

“She wasn’t there. Some snooty Englishwoman served me.”

That would be Zoe. Josh could just imagine how Zoe felt about his ex-wife waltzing in the door of Beth’s place.

For the first time it dawned on him that it wouldn’t only be Beth he had to convince to give him a second chance when this mess was straightened out.

“So rude,” Elaine went on. “I thought people were supposed to be friendly in these hick towns. Anyway, we won’t have to worry about that sort of thing when we’re back in Chicago.”

She turned and walked back toward the kitchen before Josh could even form an answer. Moving after her, he saw that she’d set the small table complete with candles. His uneasiness grew. He didn’t know if she was genuinely suffering some sort of delusion, or if she was playing some crazy game.

But either way, he had to make it very clear to her that they were done, and she was going back to Chicago with her parents. And then he was going to moved heaven and earth to win Beth back. But he knew he had to handle Elaine with care.

Deciding it was best to keep her calm until she was in the care of her parents, Josh quickly washed up in the bathroom and returned to the table where a plate of something he didn’t recognise awaited him.

He sat across from Elaine, refusing her offer of wine and taking water instead.

The atmosphere was stiff and tense, thanks in no small part to his own feelings, Josh knew. After a couple of minutes of stilted conversation and awkward silences, Elaine set her fork down and picked up her wine glass, downing the contents before refilling it.

“I’m not stupid, you know,” she blurted.

Josh put his own fork down, all the while watching her carefully. “I know that,” he answered levelly. “But I don’t know why you’re here, Elaine.”

She downed most of her second glass before answering. “I’m here because I’ve decided to forgive you.” She sighed, and he almost laughed at her audacity. “I know I made some mistakes, but the way you just abandoned me, Josh… Let my parents leave me in those awful places as if I was some sort of addict.” She shuddered in distaste. “But being away gave me some clarity. And I’ve decided that it’s time to start over. We’ve both hurt one another. We’ve both made mistakes. But we belong together. You know it, and I know it.”

She glanced around his apartment, her mouth pulling into a line of disapproval. “You certainly don’t belong here. You’re so much better than this place, Josh. I hate to think you’ve fallen this far. But I’m back now, and when we get home, we can put all of this unpleasantness behind us, and—“

“Elaine,” he interrupted because he couldn’t listen to any more of this. “I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible. We’re not together anymore, and we never will be again. I’m happy here. I like it here, and…“

He took a deep breath not even sure if he was doing the right thing. Josh had done one psych rotation. He was nowhere near well enough equipped to deal with this.

“…and I’m in love with someone else. Someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

She didn’t say anything, just finished the rest of her wine before pouring another glass.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he continued sincerely. “I’m glad that you’re back in Chicago with your parents and the people who care about you. But we can’t just forget our past, Elaine. What happened to you and to your baby… and everything before that. I’m more sorry than I can say.”

It was cathartic in a way to be saying all of these things to her.

“It’s taken me a long time to move on, too. To forgive myself for the mistakes I made.”

She still didn’t speak.

“We didn’t get married for love, Elaine. We got married because it was the right thing to do in the circle we were in. But now that I’m out of that, I see what sort of life I really