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I’m not having to excessively water load.

It’s not something I like to do if I can help it. When done right it means I can lose weight rapidly without losing too much of my power and speed and can usually gain the weight back between the time of weigh-ins and the start of the fight, giving me a huge weight advantage in the octagon but if done wrong, I could risk organ failure or worse, a stroke.

Over the years there have been many stories about fighters going blind and putting themselves in so much danger they ended up being pulled from the fight so it’s a really fine balancing act that I’ve only had to do a couple of times.

The house seems so empty without Mia and Maddie. No Disney songs blaring through the corridors, just the sound of birds chirping in the trees outside and the occasional dog barking in the distance.

A text from my ex-boyfriend is the last thing I want to be dealing with this morning, especially when we've just sent Maddie away with her friend so me and Ethan can have some alone time.

Peter: Meet me in town this afternoon. I need you.

I think about ignoring it but if the four years we were together taught me anything, it's that he's persistent. I'm just about to tell him I'm not interested when my phone beeps again.

Peter: Please M. Its urgent.

Wondering what he wants, I stare at my phone with a furrowed brow. A couple of months ago, I wanted nothing more than for him to be chasing me, begging for forgiveness. For him to love me the way that I loved him but now, I've moved on. I'm happy and I need him to know that it's well and truly over.

Mia: Fine but you come to me. There's a coffee shop in the village, meet me in 20 mins.

It's uncharacteristically warm for the beginning of September so I've made the bold choice to get my legs out with a pair of denim shorts paired with an old Nirvana tee that Lexi passed down to me. I gather my hair into a messy top knot and slip on my favourite biker boots before popping my head into his study to let Ethan know that I'm going out to grab brunch and then head out the door and towards the wooded trail into the village.

“Hello Peter.” He's leaning casually against the wall of the coffee shop when I arrive. He looks so out of place. Everyone around us is dressed in their finest summer clothes and there he stands in a pair of chinos, a shirt with the sleeves rolled down and a pair of brown loafers.

“Thanks for coming.” He steps toward the nearest patio table and sits down, beckoning me to join him.

“What do you want?” Sitting down opposite him, I fold my arms across my chest. After the way he treated me, I owe him nothing but I'm here so I might as well hear what he has to say.

“I just wanted to apologise for everything that happened between us. I was a jerk and you deserved better.”

“Damn right I did.” I force the words through gritted teeth making sure he knows that I’m not the little push over I used to be. “But we've moved on.”

I sigh, wanting this conversation to be over as quickly as possible so I can just go home.

“But I love you.” He blurts out.

Is he for real?

I expected to feel anger or sad but, in this moment, all I feel is pity. Once upon a time I was convinced that we would get married and live this perfect life but meeting Ethan has helped me realise that what I had with Peter wasn't real. I was more in love with the idea of us and the man I wanted him to be than I was with him.

“We were never in love Peter.” I see the sadness in his eyes, “You would never have treated me the way you did if you loved me. You were just in love with the opportunities being with me opened up for you and that’s fine because, I never loved you either. Not really. I was in love with the idea of us. The hope of a perfect love. On paper you were my Prince Charming, my kind, caring, intelligent boyfriend, good career prospects, the same traditional values and expectations… But none of it was ever real.”

I pause, inhaling slowly. “Besides, you've got Amber now. We've both moved on.”

“I broke up with her... for you.” He shuffles in his chair. I don't remember ever seeing him this nervous. He's usually oozing confidence and charisma. The perfect embodiment of a wealthy, well-educated man who's lived a life of privilege.

“Peter.” I take a deep breath and place my hand on his to give him a comforting squeeze. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but I’m telling you that you could have a husband.” I pull my hand away and stand up to leave, trying not to laugh at his use of a quote from one of my favourite TV couples.

“Goodbye Peter. Take care of yourself.” I waited four years to hear those words from him and six months ago I’d have been calling Lexi and Cristian and planning the perfect wedding but right now, it’s so easy to walk away.

I feel bad for leaving him like this but, he's my past and my future is at home waiting for me.

He stands and pulls me into a hug and instinctively, I place my palms on his chest and try to push him away. “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know. I think I do.” I push him away, taking a step back and fold my arms across my chest again. “And I really do hope you can find someone who makes you as happy as he makes me.”

I take a couple of steps in the direction of the door and hear

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