The Missing Party-Girl: A Rags-to-Riches Cozy Mystery Romance, Nhys Glover [best inspirational books .txt] 📗

She looked up at the big man at her side. “It’s amazing how one man can tear you down and another can build you up. I owe you so much.”

He squeezed her arm. “No. I did nothing. You did all the work. Despite me, at times. I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I can get moody and distant, and I can snap at people who don’t deserve it.”

“Why? Why do you do that?” she pressed, knowing she shouldn’t spoil the moment, but unable to stop herself.

“I wish I knew. I’ve always been like this. I hit the jackpot with my adoptive parents. Every member of my family loves me as if I was theirs by birth. But I never felt that love, never felt like I belonged. Part of it was being black when the rest of the family was white. Part of it was having a junkie for a mom and no father she could remember. My siblings were all adopted, but none came from quite the cesspool as I did. I always felt wrong. When I told you about humanity being wrong, well, I was including me in there. And nothing I do seems to make me any better.”

Adie shook her head energetically. “What a load of crap. What have you ever done that was so wrong, Cage? Tell me. If you want me to believe you’re wrong, then at least produce the evidence to back it up. All I have to go on is what I see. And what I see is a very good man.”

He shook his head. “The list is too long. I’ve got a violent streak. You have no idea how many guys I’ve almost beaten to death. Then there’s the hurtful things I’d say to my sisters and brothers to drive them away when I was in one of my moods. Stuff I did or didn’t do when I was in the forces. Stuff I can never forgive myself for.

“Like my dog. I knew he was losing his nerve. It happens to most sniffer dogs after a while. Being around loud noises, and the way they’re trained… it’s cruel. And even the strongest, sturdiest dog will eventually start suffering from PTSD. They used to put the dogs down when they got like that. Now they don’t. But I saw my dog getting jumpy and read the signs. But I wouldn’t let him go. It was cruel to keep making him work, but I did it because I didn’t want him put down. I didn’t want to lose him. And it cost us. It cost him.”

“I’m sorry,” Adie said softly, not knowing what else to say.

“Why? Why are you sorry?” he snapped, pulling away from her, just as she knew he would eventually do when she started this conversation.

“I’m sorry war is cruel and it costs so many innocent lives. I’m sorry you lost your friend. You were in an untenable position, from the sound of it. Damned if you did and damned if you didn’t. And your choice cost you. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Men died because King didn’t do his job. King lost his life, and I nearly lost mine. I should have lost mine. It was a pure fluke I didn’t. I was selfish and it cost lives!” he snarled back.

Jig whimpered and edged in close to my side, looking up warily at Cage, as if he expected him to attack me at any moment. Adie stroked his ears to tell him it was all okay. Even though it wasn’t.

“Were you blamed? Did the army blame you?” Adie asked softly.

“No. They blamed the dog. But it wasn’t King’s fault. I saw the signs and should have done something.”

“Did you tell the officials that?” Adie persisted.

“I did. And they discounted it. They said I couldn’t have known. He was constantly evaluated, and nobody picked up how close to the edge he was. They thought it was me suffering survivor’s guilt. They wouldn’t believe me. And because I wouldn’t move pass it, I was given an honorable discharge with a purple heart and told to get help. They didn’t have a fucking clue!”

He was yelling by this stage and his voice echoed down the dark, quiet lane and out over the fields like a bomb exploding.

“If you’d told someone what you suspected, would it have made a difference?” Adie asked, kicking herself for continuing when Cage was so obviously close to the edge.

She knew he’d never hurt her, but she might push him too far and make him quit. They’d come close before.

“Maybe. He’d passed all his evals, so I’d have to have pushed. And letting a good dog go before it was used up was economically unsound. It cost a lot to train sniffers like King. The US government wanted their money’s worth from every dog. It was fucking cruel to see a dog’s spirit broken. They’re man’s best friend, so what do we give them for their loyalty? A life on the edge and then death when they’re no longer useful. Or that was how it was. Now they’re rehabilitated and retired to loving homes. But not back then. It was wrong. All wrong. And I was a part of it.”

Cage dropped to his haunches and wrapped his arms around his head. Deep guttural sobs filled the air. Adie edged Jig close to the man, and the dog did what all loyal pets did. He snuggled in, nosing Cage’s shoulder and whimpering.

At first the man ignored the dog. However, bit by bit he softened, until he finally wrapped his arms around Jig and cried into his shaggy fur.

The wracking sobs brought tears to Adie’s eyes. Seeing a strong man broken like this was intolerable. She had no idea what she needed to