The Beasts of Juarez, R.B. Schow [books to read for self improvement .txt] 📗

a pillar of the community.”

“The Mountain Park community, of course.” Then, quieter, Richie said, “Unless you’re talking about other things, in which case—if that were real—I’d be upper hive for sure, a reptilian overlord with a blue chariot, which I may or may not be anyway.”

She looked at the Lexus’s customized license plate. It read: RPTLIAN.

“Alright, Overlord,” she said to the bearded man-beast. “You have some bang-bangs for us?”

“You weren’t followed, were you?” he asked.

“Not by anything on land,” she said.

He snapped his fingers hard, grinned extra-wide, and said, “That-a-girl. Follow me into the hive, but take off your shoes, unless you have holes in your socks. Do you have holes in your socks, Yergha?”

“No.”

“Estella?” he asked.

“Yes, but my shoes are staying on.”

“No, they’re not.”

“Why the hell would you have me take my shoes off in your garage?”

“It’s a sanctuary.”

“The answer is still no.”

“I respect a woman who can make up her mind,” he said.

“There are lots of us now, it’s amazing,” she said, her sense of humor as dry as the desert air.

“You know what I mean,” Richie said.

“No I don’t, but whatever.”

“You guys believe in reptilians, right?” Richie turned and asked before unlocking a decorative chest covered in dust.

“Of course,” Yergha said, exchanging a brief look with Esty.

“Then again, it depends on which species you’re referring to,” Estella countered.

Richie smiled really big again, snapped his fingers, and said, “We come in peace for sure. You especially, lady.”

“Do you have ammo?”

“Whatcha heading out and killin’?” he asked.

“Whatever needs killing when it needs it,” Esty said. “You feel me, right Overlord?”

“Like an emotional orgasm, you bet I do.”

“I like that,” Yergha said. “I feel the same way with her.”

“You just got into the city, right?” Richie asked.

Yergha nodded.

“Wasn’t talking to you, brother.”

“Yes,” Esty answered. “We just got into the city.”

“Perhaps you’d like a drink and a seat, maybe a cigar since you look like you could kick both my ass and your boyfriend’s ass, too.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she said.

“That’s what I thought,” Richie grinned. “We need to sit down and talk about all the reasons you’ll want to say yes to a man like me when I suggest you drop roots and join forces with a real Texan.”

“I just want the guns and the ammo Leopold asked us to come and pick up here.”

He held up his hand, sneezed so hard it sounded like gunfire, then turned back around and said, “Excuse me. It’s the dry air.” There were streamers of snot in his dyed-black mustache and beard, a slimy mess of which he wasn’t fully aware. “My own overlord, who was really just this hard-ass cuck in the car business, he said it’s always best to make a little small talk before you get onto the bigger things.”

“I don’t know what you are inferring by ‘bigger things,’ but if we’re talking about guns that shoot lead bullets, you’re on the right track.”

“I wasn’t referring to that, but if you’re going to be that way, we can be that way together.” He rubbed his beard, but the snot stuck to his fingers and pulled up looking like slime. Glancing around, panicked, he said, “Did you just see someone come in here?”

“Someone like how?” Yergha asked.

“They had to be fast, like when I sneezed.”

“That’s all your snot, Richie,” Yergha said. “You weren’t slimed if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“It wasn’t,” he said, embarrassed. He wiped his hands on his pants, made sure they were clean. “Nevertheless, Leopold had specific instructions which I’ll follow to the letter.”

He reached down, opened the trunk lid, and started handing them guns, boxes of ammo, and a pair of tactical knives with sheathes they could attach to their belts. After that, he pulled out another box, opened the flaps, and handed them both a few more items.

“I think that’s it,” he said.

“I’m sure Leopold paid you, yes?” Esty said.

“In bitcoin.”

“Good luck, reptilian.”

“Hell yeah, good luck to you and your man-servant.” When he tried to snap his fingers, though, the dried slime on his fingers made snapping impossible.

“The thing that slimed you,” Esty said on the way out, “I don’t want to spook you, but I’m pretty sure it was one of the grays.”

“That’s an alien.”

“No shit it’s a freaking alien,” Yergha said. “Be careful.”

“10-4 good buddy.”

Chapter Seventeen

ESTELLA BACCARIN

Armed to the teeth, Esty and Yergha arrived at the Stanton House hotel near midnight. They left most of the guns and ammo in the blue eyesore on wheels and then they prayed the Chevy wouldn’t get stolen. If it did, all they had were two guns between them, both XD9s and both with only a single mag in the mag well. Neither she nor Yergha expected trouble. They were, after all, just visiting the client and his bodyguard in an attempt to establish some sort of jumping-off point.

They made their way upstairs to the congressman’s hotel room, knocked twice, and announced themselves. After that, they stood back as the door opened up to a steely-eyed man moving a bit gingerly.

“Tyler?” Yergha asked.

“You must be Leopold’s people,” he said as he moved back to let them inside.

“I’m Estella and this is Yergha. We’ll be running point on this operation both here and in Juárez if that’s where this thing is headed.”

“We think it is,” Tyler said, sitting down slowly, trying not to wince but doing so anyway.

“What happened to you?” Esty asked Tyler.

“Shot several times in the chest. The vest caught the lead, but I’m pretty sure I have two broken ribs, maybe three.”

“Did you crap yourself?” Esty asked.

“It was hard not to.”

“Yeah, you’ve probably got some problems in there. You should check yourself into emergency after this.”

“I’ll give you whatever you need,” the former soldier said. “Timelines, descriptions of the kidnappers, the gunmen, the getaway van, even the girls if you need it.”

“I have that covered,