The First Starfighter, Grace Goodwin [popular novels .TXT] 📗

between us now. No secrets. I didn’t have to hide any part of myself any longer. He wasn’t really asking. He was telling me that my double life was finished.

“My job is to fight beside my bondmate, General. Nothing else. Send my regards to STS.”

This time, instead of taking Jamie’s hand, I leaned down and tossed her over my shoulder.

“Alex!” she squealed, pounding on my lower back with her small fists. “What are you doing?”

“You are my gift, bondmate. I will ensure you do not get away.”

“General!” she cried, seeking help from the most unlikely of sources.

I heard his laugh right before his office door closed behind us. I carried Jamie to our quarters. Nothing was keeping me from making her mine. Completely. And forever.

17

Jamie

I bounced on Alex’s shoulder with every step on the way to our quarters, past the living area and straight to the bedroom. I couldn’t believe he’d done that, and in front of the general, too.

He was possessive, but he was mine. And there was no doubt I was his after that effort. He locked us in before sliding me down his chest.

I thought my feet would hit the floor, but he didn’t put me down, instead settling me against his chest, nose to nose. One arm banded about my back, the other cupping my butt.

His dark eyes held mine. I couldn’t miss the guilt, the anguish. The frustration. Need. So many emotions there, all of them because of me. “I caused you additional suffering, Jamie.” His voice was full of the same tension as his eyes If his hands weren’t already occupied, he’d probably tug at his hair. “I lied to you. I hurt you. I give you my oath now that I will never do so again.” He looked down at what he wore, the Dark Fleet gray, with disgust. “I will never again wear this uniform. I am sorry you must see me this way.”

The honest pain in his eyes trapped the air in my lungs. “Stop.” I placed my finger over his lips to shut him up. “I don’t care what uniform you wear. I don’t.”

He shook his head. “This uniform is a betrayal of everything we are, everything my brother died for. I cannot stand to know the queen’s colors rest against my skin.”

“Your brother would be proud of you, Alex,” I countered. “You’re the one who found out about Rainhart. You did that for him and for everyone else who died that day. You could be wearing Dark Fleet colors or Velerion or any other thing. I don’t care about the clothes. I care about the man beneath the uniform. He’s mine. I love you, Alex. And if lying to me saves both of our lives, you had better do it again. I will always believe in you.”

His smile lifted the weight from my chest, and I could breathe again. Until he spoke.

“You are incredible, bondmate.”

Damn and double damn. I tried to stop the burning behind my eyelids from becoming tears, but after the latest round of hell we’d just been through, I didn’t have it in me. I blinked and they ran down my cheeks. “Put me down, please.”

His eyes flared wide with immediate concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” I wiggled until he released me, and I patted him on the shoulder. “I just need a shower. I smell like a prison cell.”

His smile returned. “Perhaps I should join you and make sure you do a thorough job.”

Blink. Two more raisin-sized tears burned a salt trail down my cheeks. Sheesh. I was pathetic. “No. I can manage.”

His confusion only made me want to cry harder, so I got the hell out of there, closing the bathroom door behind me and turning on the water.

I’d meant what I said. The stench of Queen Raya’s prison cell filled my head as I stripped out of my uniform and dumped it into the laundry chute Alex had showed me. He’d said service bots took care of it. Like little robotic elves, I imagined.

The water was hot and strong and poured over me, releasing the tension from my muscles. Unfortunately that tension had been the only thing holding me together.

I was a delivery driver, not a space ninja. I was no Navy Seal or Army Ranger or any other kind of badass military, tough-as-nails warrior. If I wanted to cry in the shower because I’d just told the man I was hopelessly in love with that I loved him for the very first time, and he hadn’t said it back? Well, that was my prerogative, wasn’t it?

Crying was normal when one’s heart was cracking into tiny little pieces. Sure, things had moved fast, but the things we’d been up against and fought together… I’d thought our bond—and not just a pair bond—was super tight.

I scrubbed every inch of skin and washed my hair three times, trying to scrub away the memories of that rock prison and its laser barrier, my fear, my rage. All of it.

When I felt better, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. I didn’t want to face Alex yet, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go. The door slid open, and Alex stood there.

“Are you well?” he asked, looking me up and down.

“I’m fine.”

His lips thinned, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m going to take a shower, and then I’m going to make sure you never use that word again.”

My only response to that was a raised brow and one word. “Fine.”

I left him to his shower and dug into my ugly green suitcases from Earth. I needed comfort right now. I needed to feel safe and secure and home.

Safe? Yes. No one was going to kidnap or attack me here.

Secure? Sure. I was an Elite Starfighter with my own ship. I was famous now, along with Alex. I had job security forever, all the food I could eat, a place to live and something worthwhile