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be. I guess I would just have to live vicariously through my dirty mind and by shaking his hand. So I did.

“Joseph,” I said, I think. At least I hope I said something intelligible. If I didn’t, Kyle didn’t seem to notice.

As I watched him, I was absolutely amazed by how fast the man moved. I couldn’t believe the speed with which he pulled on some briefs. No! I wanted to scream. I need to ogle you some more. My dirty mind still had room for more trashy images of…. Moving on. You would think with legs as long as his were that he would get all tangled up in his pants, but no. With amazing dexterity he threaded those big feet into the legs of the pants, pulled them up, and snapped them shut.

He pulled a shirt over his head, and his nipples, too, were removed from my sight. Sigh. But then I noticed what had first captured my attention: his smile. Oh, yeah, okay. So he wasn’t naked anymore, but he still had a killer smile, and it was, at the moment, directed at me. Why, I had no idea, since I couldn’t believe I had said two sentences that made any sense to anyone listening. Or maybe I had—I couldn’t remember. Visions of bouncing penises were racing through my head, making any other thoughts nearly impossible.

I picked up my backpack and looked back at Kyle. Somehow, I really don’t know how, he was completely dressed and had socks and shoes on his feet. Damn, but the boy was fast! I hoped he could get out of his clothes as fast as he got into them. No, don’t go there. He was probably straight. Überstraight. Ultrastraight. Could even be Mormon straight. With my luck he could be what straight looked to, to be straight. Sigh. Oh, that smile. What was I saying to myself?

“Thanks for waiting for me!”

“No problem.”

“There’s a coffee place down at the end of the block. Want to get some coffee?”

“Sure!” I agreed, even though I didn’t drink coffee and certainly didn’t need any more stimulation at the moment.

Talking to Kyle turned out to be extraordinarily easy because he was a fantastic conversationalist. He was superenthused about so many things and seemed to be absolutely gifted at drawing others out—not that I had far to go on the In/Out spectrum. Don’t go there. Remember, probably Überstraight. But he really was fun to be with. He seemed to know about a lot of things and loved to talk but wasn’t one of those pompous know-it-all people who liked to lord their knowledge over others. And anything I said seemed to make the man smile that killer smile. I could live with that.

We sat in the coffee shop and talked for hours. Gradually I relaxed a bit and got my sleazy overactive libido under control and stopped looking at him as a giant walking penis. Still, it was a nice image that I would definitely revisit when jerking off that night. And it didn’t work at the moment because he was sitting, not walking.

Even though I lived in a city surrounded by tens of thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people—well, actually several million—it was still always difficult for me to talk with people because basically I was a very shy person. I know. You’re thinking, How does a shy person constantly speak their mind and stick his foot in his mouth? And get laid on a regular basis? Trust me, it can be done. I had ample proof from years of experience on both points.

So I was having a wonderful time. This whole afternoon had turned out to be so unexpected. Usually I did my workout, checked out a few guys I knew I’d never be brave enough to talk with, and then went home to read or clean or do something equally engaging until it was time to go to bed and then get up and go to work. You know, the whole cycle of life thing. At least the cycle of workweek life thing.

It was so unexpected but so absolutely wonderful to spend time talking with a gorgeous, engaging man who seemed to love listening to me. Had I paid him and just forgotten? No one ever listened to me unless I paid them. Not that I had paid anyone, it’s just that no one had ever really listened to me before. Enough with the pity party.

It’s not that I’m ugly or anything. I’m told that I’m a very attractive man. But I’ve also been told that I sort of exude lack of confidence and try to blend into the background. I wasn’t a hermit living in a cave watching life go by. I went out, met guys, got laid occasionally—never enough, but then what guy ever has enough? I haven’t met the man yet, nor have I heard of any sightings. My grandfather was eighty, and he was still frisky—at eighty! And he loved to talk about it too. Focus, focus on the attractive man hanging on your every word.

I tuned back in just in time.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you here babbling away like this,” Kyle said.

“No! I’m loving it! Don’t apologize! And please don’t stop!” I scolded myself. Don’t sound so desperate!

“Are you hungry?”

I looked at my watch and couldn’t believe that it was already dinnertime. Where had the day gone? Oh, right, drooling over Kyle’s naked body and then hanging on his every word just like I wanted to hang on his dick of death.

“Yes, actually, I am.”

“There’s a great Thai place near here. Do you like Thai food?”

“Love it!”

“Great. Would you like to grab some dinner? And promise me that if I babble on too much, you’ll smack me and tell me to shut up!”

“Not likely,” I said with my own smile, although the image of spanking him did get me going again. Down, boy! the voice in my head tried to argue. Another voice wasn’t hearing

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