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of me…

I already feel like maybe he’s hurting Milla because of me. At least… I should have warned her. I weakly hand Gabe’s phone back to him. “So, we have no idea of where they could be?”

“It can’t be too far. I’m sure that he didn’t know we were going to find out about him. He didn’t know about your pregnancy,” Gabe says. “We’ll find him.”

The plane is starting its descent now, and I lean my head back against the chair and look out the window sadly. “Gabe…” I whisper. “What’s going to happen to us next? You and me? If we find Milla alive and well?”

“I don’t know, Evie.”

“And if she’s not okay?”

Gabe doesn’t answer. He just goes quiet.

“I’m sorry, that was a horrible question,” I tell him softly.

“It’s okay,” he answers. He reaches out to take my hand. “I don’t think that our relationship depends on Milla. I think it depends on us, and we’ve been failing.”

“I know,” I tell him quietly. “I know we love each other, but it just doesn’t fit.”

“I’m glad I got to spend more time with you, Evie. I’ll never regret being close to you, even if we drive each other insane.”

I laugh softly. “Me too. These last few weeks meant so much to me. Even if I burned most of your belongings, and you put your fist through every wall in the house…” I see more text messages from Veronica appear, and I frown. “Veronica says Milla was suffering from serious depression, and taking medication. She was missing a lot of shifts and unable to perform. And then her father died…”

“Oh, no,” Gabe responds. “That’s horrible. She doesn’t have any other family…”

“Of course. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect victim for Michael? A vulnerable, lonely girl that no one will miss,” I say softly. “No one noticed she was gone. He disappeared her so easily.”

“Well, Michael was wrong,” Gabe says. “I miss her. And I’m going to find her.”

I turn back to look out the window with worry as the plane touches down. “I miss her, too.”

“Shit!” Gabe curses.

“What?”

“She called me!” he shouts, so loudly that everyone in the plane looks over. “I only just got my cell reception back. She called my cell phone. Fuck!”

“Call her back,” I say briskly. “Ask where she is.”

But he’s already calling.

“There’s no response,” Gabriel says angrily. “God, Evie. What if she thought I ignored her? When she’s going through this? I ignored her so many times before because I didn’t want to upset you.”

“She’ll forgive you,” I tell him.

“Why would she forgive me?” he asks hoarsely. “I’ve made her feel so abandoned that she married a monster to forget about me. I’ve ruined her life.”

I squeeze his hand. “She called you, right? In her darkest moments, she reaches for you. She’ll forgive you, because she loves you. And if she’s anything like me… there’s nothing you could do that she wouldn’t forgive.”

“That’s really sweet, Evie.”

“No, it’s not. It means that me and Milla are certifiably insane with no self-esteem.”

Chapter 40 Milla

Fun fact about Sleeping Beauty. Okay, not so fun fact.

Did you know that in the original version of the fairytale, the princess is raped and impregnated while comatose? By a king. Who is married? To someone else.

It’s true—look it up. The Sun, The Moon, and Talia from 1634. Disney didn’t let the kiddies hear that part of the story. My charming husband, Mike, kindly read the story to me last night, before he immobilized me with drugs. And I dreamt about it all night long. Better than being stuck in a comb. Now, waking up alone while being unable to move my body… the story is still swirling in my brain.

Can you believe it? Sleeping Beauty was not actually the princess. She was the mistress! Shout out to all my girls feeling crappy right now because they are the side chick. Guess what?

It’s not all bad. Sure, sometimes you get a coma. Sometimes you get murdered.

But sometimes, just sometimes, you might get the prince.

Like another famous woman with my name: Camilla Parker Bowles. One of the most notorious mistresses and side chicks of modern times. Guess what happened to her? Oh yeah, she’s going to basically be the Queen of England someday! Queen Consort? I don’t know how it works.

But they seem happy. And it’s a second marriage. Not to mention, the Prince’s first wife was one of the most beautiful and beloved women in the world… and she still wasn’t right for him. His heart always belonged to someone else. I learned all this from binge watching The Crown. But I never thought I would relate to it this much, or be feel so inspired by that story, which was mostly sad and horrific because of what happened to Diana.

Maybe I wasn’t a complete and total idiot to dream of being with Gabe? Maybe it could have been possible for us to be happy and be together… if life had worked out that way. If I was stronger or better somehow… if I didn’t make all these mistakes, and get so unlucky. If I didn’t get married to the villain of the fairytale.

These are the things you think about when you’re heavily sedated. And when your prince doesn’t come to save you.

Now what about the pregnancy in the story? I don’t know where I am in my cycle.

I haven’t made any real attempts to stop Mike from what he’s doing to me, because I’ve felt like it’s pointless. But now I have to think about consequences to all this.

What happens in the future?

The Sleeping Beauty story made me feel like there could be a future. If she could be cursed for a hundred years, and still wake up and live happily ever after—and if Evie could be in a coma for forty-seven days, and still wake up walk again so soon, and even have a healthy pregnancy…

Maybe I could be okay in the end of this, too.

Maybe I could survive everything

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