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remembered feeling that electric zing with Josh, some supernatural force or pull towards him. Something I never had with David. My heart wanted to say, “No, you had your chance, go pound sand.” However, I knew what I had to do, but could I do it? I would be no better than David if I said yes. It would all be a ruse for an ulterior motive. I would be using him just like he did me…or at least tried. I looked past him, unseeingly, in the direction of the kitchen, trying not to think of Josh. Part of me wished it was Josh here in front of me asking for forgiveness, asking me to take him back. Why did David have to do this now? Why didn’t he want me months ago? Was it really just because he thought another man was in my life and this was all a competition? It didn’t matter at this point. Remember what’s at stake, I told myself. I’d be using him for a greater purpose and possibly hurting him in the end. I took a deep breath and forced a smile.

“Okay, David,” I said, deflated. “Just make sure Ginger stays away from me. “I’m not in the mood for girl drama and I have a feeling once she sees us together…” I trailed off, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Isabel, I can pick you up for work and bring you home. I don’t mind.”

“No way, David. Ginger is very unpredictable and I want none of that. Plus, our schedules don’t match, so I’ll be riding with Ben.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“I do have a condition, however. This new relationship has to be on my terms. I think you understand what I mean.”

He kissed me on the cheek and hands. “Okay, my love, so long as you’re mine.” He leaned in for another kiss which I deflected by hugging him instead. I hugged him loosely, kind of like hugging a girlfriend when we were saying goodbye. He pulled me closer to him and held me for an immeasurable minute.

“Ouch, David, not so tight, my arm.” I let go of him and gently rubbed my arm.

“Ooh, I’m sorry, love. I forgot about your wound. I was just so caught up in the moment. I can’t believe my lucky stars that you’re willing to give me a second chance.” He beamed.

“David, I’m feeling exhausted and I just want to be in bed today so I can be strong enough for work tomorrow. I have to make sure I’m ready for tomorrow since group therapy is in another week. I also have to see who the new prosecutor is on my victim’s case so I can at least prepare my victim for that. I’ll text you tonight to say goodnight and we can plan to have lunch together tomorrow if the ER isn’t too crazy for you.”

“Of course, love. I don’t have to be in tomorrow until noon, so let’s plan on an early lunch. Okay?” He kissed my cheek and hands.

“Sounds good.” I walked him to the door. He turned and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek. I forced a smile but with so much guilt running through me, I thought I was going to give myself away. I locked the door behind him and headed for the kitchen. Ben was perusing my computer and everyone else eyed me, waiting for me to say something.

“Ben,” I said curtly, “I’d like a word with you in my office.” He got up, stone-faced, and we headed to my office. I walked in first and waited for him to follow so I could close the door behind him. I sat down on the loveseat and grabbed a pillow so I could hug it. Ben waited patiently for me to speak. I didn’t know where to begin.

I let out a tired sigh. “Ben, I don’t think I can lie like you want me to. I can’t lead David on and let him think that I still have feelings for him. Kissing him was hard enough.”

“I did notice how uncomfortable it was for you. I suppose I forgot about the physical aspect of this relationship.” Ben paused. He turned to look out the window. “But I’m certain David would never force himself on you.”

I scoffed, remembering why he left me in the first place. “I’m not worried about that, Ben. I’m a virgin and he knows it. Nothing will happen there.” Ben spun around and eyed me with a little more than amazement.

“You are a virgin? How? Never mind. It’s none of my business.”

Oops, I didn’t mean to say that out loud, “Ben, focus. We’re talking about David. I’ve been on the receiving end of a bad breakup and I’m all too familiar with the pain. I don’t think you realize how unkind this is.” He found a seat and just sat there, fixated on me, muttering under his breath so low I couldn’t hear. “Ben, please stop looking at me that way. I’m still the same person, nothing has changed.”

He shut his eyes and shook his head as if he was shaking off some invisible fogginess. “I’m sorry, Isabel, I just wasn’t expecting to hear that.” He cleared his throat. “Right, we’re talking about David and how this will hurt him. If you could just try and do your best acting for the rest of this week until next week, I don’t think you’ll have to put too much effort into this after that. Remember, we’re leaving for Texas after your therapy session. From then on it will be a long-distance relationship and you won’t have to see him,” he declared. “At which point, you could say that the long-distance situation is not suiting you and you would break it off,” he added.

I was somewhat surprised at how good Ben was at the whole façade. “That doesn’t sound too bad,”

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