How to Be a Mentsh (and Not a Shmuck), Wex, Michael [top inspirational books .txt] 📗

Eve and, 69

Cain and Abel and, 70

Jacob’s brothers and, 70–71

rechanneling of evil and, 116–17

Joseph and his brothers, 70–71

Joshua ben Levi, Rabbi, 37–38

Judaism

based on consensus, not decree, 35–38

collective guilt and, 30–31

community and, 30–35, 42–48, 90–91

prohibitions and, 49–52

purpose of ritual practices, 38–48

right act for wrong reason, 52–58

traditional view of childhood, 24–26

Kaddish, 35, 48

Kagan, Yisroel Meyer, 89, 138

Kamtso and Bar Kamtso, 71–74, 96, 101

anger, vengeance and, 74–77, 93–95

Kapdan, 150

Karo, Rabbi Joseph, xv

kbilel ba-shem, 49

khnyok, 53–54

King of Comedy, The (film), 17

knowledge, use of, 96–103. See also study

Kohlberg, Lawrence, 149

kosher, 22–23

kosher khazer fisl (kosher little pig’s foot), 143

Kruschen, Jack, 122

Landau, Wolf, 109–10

landsmanshaften, 47–48

Langland, William, 45–46

Lansky, Aaron, 21–22

Laws Concerning the Misuse of Sacramental Objects. See Mishneh Torah

Lemmon, Jack, 119, 122

“Long Black Veil” (song), 93

loshn ho-ro (pseudo-truths), 89, 91–93

Lucifer Effect, The (Zimbardo), 163–64

MacDowell, Andie, 173

Madoff, Bernie, 116

Maharsho (Samuel Eidels), 73

Maimonides, Moses

on anger, 74–75, 115–16

on bor, 97

Maimonides, Moses (cont.)

on commandments, 49–50

on golems, 62–63

Guide for the Perplexed, 87, 88

Malbim (Rabbi Meir Weisser), 27–28

Markopolos, Harry, 116

marriage, as end of self-centeredness, xviii—xix

Menachem-Mendel of Kotzk

esreg story, 109–110

prince story, 16

tsaddik and, 127–28

mensch, xii

mentsh

ability to anticipate shmuckishness, 77–78

beginning of mentsh-hood, 156

character traits of, 23–30

idea rooted in education, 29–30

original meaning, 19–20

revenge of, 177–78

use and spelling of, xi–xiii, 20

mezuzah, 36

Midrash, use of term, xiv

Midrash Shmuel, to Ovos, 79, 101

minyan, 48

Miracle on 34th Street (film), 6

Mishna, xiii—xiv

use of golem and, 59, 61–62

Mishneh Torah

Laws Concerning the Misuse of Sacramental Objects, 49–50

Laws of Conduct, 74–75

mitzvahs

guests and, 108–9

seeing through to end, 142–43

Modern Yiddish-English/English-Yiddish Dictionary (Weinreich) 20–21

Moës khitin (wheat money), 90–91

Murray, Bill, 172

Nachman bar Yitzchok, Rabbi, 82

National Yiddish Book Center, 22

nebbish, 17

Odem, 27, 28

Di Uzida’s commentary on, 101–2, 111–13, 115–17

Ovos de Rabi Nosn, 146

Passover seder, 32

Peretz, Y. L., 14–15

Pesikta Zutrosi, Va-Eyro, 75

Piers Plowman (Langland), 45–46

Pinchas of Koretz, 116

prayer, study and, 126–28

Purim play, 10–11

rabbis, background and idea formations of, 138

Ramis, Harold, 172, 176

Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitskhoki)

on Adam and Eve, 66–70

background of, xiv—xv, 137

on envy, 135

Hillel’s maxim and, 160

on Tamar and adultery, 85

on treatment of enemies, 33

responsibility, failure to accept, 65–70

Rubin, Danny, 175

Rubin, Mark, 129–130

Saul, king, 144

schmo, 120

schnook, 120–21

Second Temple, self-satisfaction and destruction of, xiv, 54–58, 71,74,77,149–50

seder, 32

self-sufficiency, 102–3

seykhl

lace in Jewish culture 103–8

study and, 108–9, 124–26

subduing evil inclinations, 111–14

using one’s intelligence and, 109–11

Shaarey Teshuva (Gerondi), 88

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, 86

shame

Bar Kamtso story and, 72–79

prohibition against bringing to someone else, 82–94

Shammai, 91, 160, 161

and anger, 145, 149–51, 162

and proper speech, 91–92, 107

sheytl, 5–6

shlang, 66–68

shm prefix, 4–5

sbmek, xiii

shmekele, 2, 5, 6–7

shmekl, differs from shmok, 5–7

shmendrik, 16–18

shmok change from as-penis to as-fool, 11–13

differs from shmekl, 5–7

pronunciation, 120

shmook, 120

shmuck “getting caught” principle and, 129–30

meaning of, 2

offense given by use of, 2, 7–10

possibility of damage from, 130–33

self-regard and, xxi

use and spelling of, xiii, 10–11

shoyt, 5–6

shtekele, 2

shtok, 2

Shulkhan Arukh (Karo), xv, 36, 38–39

Sifra, 34

Sifre, 75, 131

Simon, Neil, xviii

speech, cheating in, 67–68

Stalin and Trotsky story, 106 study

Hillel’s maxim and Jewish devotion to, 165–71

prayer and, 126–28

seykhl and, 108–9, 124–26

Talmud, Babylonian

Avodo Zoro, 70

Bovo Kamo, 38, 34, 93

Bovo Metsiyo, 13–14, 67–68, 82–83, 84, 90, 140

Brokhos, 84, 139

Eruvin, 75, 107

Gitin, 54, 57, 71–73, 76, 139

Kesubos, 84, 91–92, 166

Kiddushin, 51–52

Makkos, 140

Nedorim, 75

Nozir, 175

Ovos, 53, 61–62, 63, 79, 96–97, 112, 130, 160, 168

Peah, 41

Pesokhim, 32, 79, 163

Sanhedrin, 42–43, 60, 84, 88, 89, 136

Shabbos, 41, 58, 74, 79, 94, 146, 147, 148, 150–51, 162

Shvuos, 42–43

Sotah, 53, 84

Tomid, 23, 135

Yoma, 49–50, 81, 153

Yoreh Deah, 36

Talmud, Yerushalmi Nedorim, 68

Sotah, 53

Tamar, in Genesis story, 84–85

Tarfon, Rabbi, 141

Tetragrammaton, 8–10

Trotsky and Stalin story, 106

tsaddik in pelts, 127–28

tsimmes, 40

Valdesolo, Piercarlo, 165–68

vengeance, differs from holding grudge, 81–82

Weinreich, Max, 11, 53–54

Weinreich, Uriel, 20–21

Weissner, Rabbi Meir (Malbim), 27–28

Who Desires Life (Chofets Chayim) (Kagan), 89

Wilcox, Rick, 64

Wilder, Billy, 118

Yekhiel-Meir of Gostynin, 116

Yerushalmi, use of, xiv

Yiddish language dictionaries of, 21–22

versus German spelling, xii-xiii mentsh as, 20–21

ways of speaking and study of, 105–8

Yiddish-English-Hebrew Dictionary (Harkavy), 20–21

yidisher kop, 111

yikhes, 117

Yitskhoki, Rabbi Shlomo. See Rashi Yochanan ben Zakkai, Rabbi, 56–58

Zechariah ben Avkilos, effects of self-satisfaction and, 54–58, 71, 74, 77, 149–50

Zimbardo, Philip, 163–64

Acknowledgments

Had Leigh Haber not suggested that I write something about how to be a mentsh, the subject would never have occurred to me. Had Bob Bookman and I not been talking about Billy Wilder one day, I might never have figured out how I wanted to write it. Had my parents not taught me to shut up and listen when smart people are talking, I might have missed both opportunities.

I’d also like to thank Betsy Rapoport for connecting me with my agent, Richard Pine, a real mentsh, without whose advocacy and advice this book would have remained nothing more than an idea. Stephanie Meyers, my editor at Harper, has been a pleasure to work with at every stage of this project. Her attention to detail and sympathetic approach to occasionally gnarly material meshed perfectly with the contents of the book.

Without these mentshn, this book would not exist.

Without my wife, Marilla, and my daughter, Sabina, the same could probably be said for me.

About the Author

MICHAEL WEX is a novelist, a professor, a translator, a lecturer, and a performer of stand-up and one-person shows. Wex has been hailed as “a Yiddish national treasure” and is one of the leading lights in the current revival of Yiddish, speaking widely on Yiddish and Jewish culture. He lives in Toronto.

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ALSO BY MICHAEL WEX

Born to Kvetch

Just Say Nu

Shlepping the Exile

The Adventures of Micah Mushmelon, Boy Talmudist

Credits

Jacket photography © George Marks/Getty Images

Jacket design by Richard Ljoenes

Copyright

HOW TO BE A MENTSH (AND NOT A SHMUCK). Copyright © 2009 by Michael Wex. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or