Her Secret Service (Jane Roe 1), Jason Letts [story reading .txt] 📗

has to be something you want that you’d be able to get,” he said, and she could tell from how their eyes were locked that what she wanted most was him, but that wasn’t being offered in the terms.

“What I want?” Jane cried. “What about what you want? Don’t you want to actually be in a relationship with someone who cares about you? How am I supposed to go through the motions and act like I’m with someone who only wants me to help his reputation?”

Alex scratched his head and looked to the side.

“I mean, we kissed. I’m attracted to you and am impressed with how witty and clever you are. I realize this is unusual, jumping the gun and going straight into something like this, but I don’t have a choice.”

Jane sighed, the reasons why this could be a terrible idea only growing in number as she thought more about it.

“You know why it’s a bad idea to build a house with no foundation, right? What happens if you decide you don’t like me? You hardly know anything about me. What happens if I don’t like you?”

Everything she was saying echoed what she’d told Bethany Morrin before she left the White House. It was one thing for Jane to then tell Bethany should find ways to be content with her position even if the love and affection wasn’t there, but now that Jane was confronted with the same choice she didn’t know if she could do it either. At least Alex was adamant about his idea.

“Are you saying you don’t like me?” he asked.

“No,” she said, caught off-guard. She didn’t have time to think about what to say. It had to come from her heart. “You’re dedicated and optimistic. You believe in things and want to make the country better. You’re grounded and you believe in yourself. I think any woman would be proud to be with you, because it matters to you that you do the right thing.”

“Then why won’t you just say yes?”

Jane shut her eyes. All of this was heart-wrenching. A part of her wanted to just agree. There was an impulse to do whatever he wanted, but she couldn’t get over her doubts.

“Because I’m not the right person for you.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“I didn’t vote for you.”

The way he looked at her with his lips slightly parted and his eyes darting back and forth, studying her face, told her he’d been struck by what she said, something she knew deep down would happen. If she couldn’t do the simplest, most basic thing for him, there was no way he could expect her to do anything else. The buzzing, nervous energy she was feeling turned into a cold sweat. The chances of them finding a way to get onto the same track seemed to drop precipitously.

“What? Why?” he asked.

Jane dropped her head and kicked at the grass with her left foot, unable to look at him.

“I don’t know. I guess I thought former President Ainsley Walsh was the one I was working for and who I had to support. When I listened to your speeches, you said some interesting things, but it all seemed too good to be true. I couldn’t tell if you were being sincere,” she said.

It felt colder for a moment, and the awkward pause that followed made Jane feel like she’d seen the other side of something but had managed to pull herself back. So many others would’ve held their tongues and said whatever he wanted to hear to take him up on his offer, but she couldn’t do it unless it really all worked.

Alex was there next to her like he’d been on the rides, strong and alluring, but he shook his head like he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Shifting slightly, it looked like he was about to turn his back on her and leave, but then he twisted back to her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her against him.

He pressed his lips against hers, hard at first and then softer when she didn’t resist. His strong and overpowering presence felt right and seemed to clear away all of the clouds that had been hanging over them. Being wanted and being recognized had been what she was looking for. Setting aside what her support could do for him, maybe if he believed in her she could find a way to raise her voice and say something that mattered.

His smell, his taste, the feel of his hand against her back, she didn’t want any of it to stop. Jane was growing lightheaded and couldn’t think clearly, but she might’ve only been recognizing that she’d been that way the entire time since stepping into the garden. When he pulled away from her, all she could focus on were his lips and how she wanted more.

“Was that sincere?” he asked with a grin.

“Yes,” she said, taking a deep breath.

He furrowed his brow, some of the anguish from before their kiss creeping back onto his face.

“I know the job part can’t be completely separated, but I meant what I said before. I’m not asking you to work with me. I want you to be with me, and yes some of it will have to get figured out as we go along. But if you can just be there for me, there’s no telling what I’ll be able to do,” he said.

The precipice was there in front of her again, and with it came such a deep and unknowable abyss. The glare of the spotlight, the scrutiny, the people talking and saying things about her that they knew to be untrue, going from being the one who watched from the shadows to being the one others watched. But it wasn’t lost on her that she’d be tying her fate to his, and that his problems would become hers in a way she couldn’t control. More than ever she’d be at the mercy of pure chance and the way of the