Everything We Keep, Di Walker [best pdf reader for ebooks txt] 📗

bed and unzipped it. The open lid revealed an empty suitcase. All her things had been put away in her wardrobe.

From her pocket she took the small ball of wool. She placed it in the centre of the suitcase and closed the lid. Pausing she opened it again. She picked it up and placed in in one of the end pockets, so that it wouldn’t roll around and come unravelled. Sure, she had it right this time, she closed the lid, zipped the case and returned it to the top cupboard.

Smiling to herself she went back to the sitting room and curled up on the sofa with Chief. The house was cool. Agatha pulled the throw that was lying on the back of the sofa over her and Chief. Closing her eyes, Agatha felt her mind drift and her body relax. Soon she slipped into a sound sleep.

39

‘So, tell me every detail. What happened?’

Tully and Agatha had arranged to meet at school a bit earlier, so they could talk about Agatha’s visit home. Agatha told her everything. When she finished Tully was looking at her; eyes wide and her head shaking ever so slightly.

‘I can’t believe it, Agatha, really.’

‘I know. I didn’t know he was there, that day, at all.’

‘I would be so mad if I was you. I mean, after all this time. I get mad when I get blamed for something Ike does. But this . . . aren’t you mad?’

Agatha shook her head. ‘No. I’m not mad. I’m not sure what I am. I mean it’s confusing you know, but I can’t be mad at either of them.’ Agatha couldn’t find the words she need to explain it to Tully, let alone herself.

As the minutes ticked away more and more students began to mill around. Cora and Morgan turned up, both excited about Agatha’s new phone and insisting on having a look at it, showing her how to use it, adding their numbers to her contact list.

When the bell finally went for Home Group, Agatha had run out of things to say. She felt different, but she wasn’t sure why. The morning buzz in the corridor was a blur, even the wide welcoming smile from Mr Brown didn’t seem to register with her.

As Home Group progressed, Agatha stared out the window. The morning’s blue sky was gradually going to disappear behind a blanket of grey clouds gathering in the distance.

Agatha stepped through the rest of the day as if disappearing behind her own cloud, not really hearing, not really seeing. Even when Tully took her to a meeting with Ms Faber at lunch time, Agatha couldn’t step out of the cloud. At the end of their discussion about the Science competition Ms Faber asked Tully if she could speak to Agatha alone. Tully glanced at Agatha who gave the smallest of nods. ‘I’ll see you at the lockers,’ Tully said and left.

‘You don’t seem to be yourself today, Agatha. Everything alright?’ Ms Faber asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ Agatha replied. ‘It’s just that. . . ’ her voice trailed off.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Agatha shook her head, then nodded. ‘I don’t know. It’s just.

Ms Faber waited.

‘It’s just that things have been wrong for so long and now that it’s changing, it’s better, it still feels wrong. That doesn’t make sense.’

Ms Faber lent forward; her hands folded on the table that was between them. ‘I don’t know what’s been wrong in the past or how things have changed but what I do know is that when things aren’t going well, we can get caught up in it – we see things and sometime people as being against us. Maybe you’re just not used to everything being okay.’

Agatha nodded. She had been so unhappy for so long that maybe Ms Faber was right – maybe she just didn’t know how to be happy.

Ms Faber took a blank sheet of paper and drew a black dot in the centre with her pen. ‘What do you see?’

‘Is this a trick question?’

‘No tricks, Agatha. What do you see?’

Agatha shrugged. ‘A black dot.’

‘Exactly. But do you know what you’re missing?’ Ms Faber paused. ‘The whole page.’ As she said it, she slid the page towards Agatha then sat back. ‘There’s more to your life than the black dot, Agatha. Look at the whole page.’

Agatha stared at the page and nodded. ‘The whole page.’

She stood, the page in her hand and left, stopping for a moment at the door and looking back to Ms Faber with a smile.

Tully was waiting at the lockers with Cora and Morgan. ‘What was that about?’

Agatha held out the page to her. Tully took it and turned it over and back a few times. ‘There’s nothing on this – except for that.’ She pointed to the black dot. ‘I don’t get it.’

She handed the paper back to Agatha who shrugged and opened her locker. ‘I think I do,’ she said to Tully. Agatha took out a workbook and slid the paper into it.

‘Come on,’ said Tully, ‘double English – what a way to end the day, like really and we have that essay due soon.’

Agatha looked at Tully. ‘How do you do that?’

‘Do what?’

‘Make everything okay.’

Tully looked puzzled.

Agatha continued, ‘I mean like when you knew your mum was mad at us – you didn’t seem too worried, or Jax – you just brush him off. How do you do that?’

‘I don’t know. . . my dad I think. He’s always going on about ‘upsides’ and ‘bright sides’ and positive attitudes, thinking things through, you know all of that stuff. Like Jax – dad says there’s always people like Jax around, so you just have to learn how to not let them get to you. Mum says Dad and I are a lot alike.’

‘Yeah, Lawson would say the same thing. I wish I was more like you Tully.’

‘You don’t have to be like me, Agatha. Haven’t you worked out that we like you for you? Come on, we