Winesburg, Ohio, Sherwood Anderson [web based ebook reader txt] 📗

the evening, there in town, I go to the post office or to the depot to see the train come in, and no one says anything to me. Everyone stands around and laughs and they talk but they say nothing to me. Then I feel so queer that I can’t talk either. I go away. I don’t say anything. I can’t.”

The fury of the young man became uncontrollable. “I won’t stand it,” he yelled, looking up at the bare branches of the trees. “I’m not made to stand it.”

Maddened by the dull face of the man on the log by the fire, Elmer turned and glared at him as he had glared back along the road at the town of Winesburg. “Go on back to work,” he screamed. “What good does it do me to talk to you?” A thought came to him and his voice dropped. “I’m a coward too, eh?” he muttered. “Do you know why I came clear out here afoot? I had to tell someone and you were the only one I could tell. I hunted out another queer one, you see. I ran away, that’s what I did. I couldn’t stand up to someone like that George Willard. I had to come to you. I ought to tell him and I will.”

Again his voice arose to a shout and his arms flew about. “I will tell him. I won’t be queer. I don’t care what they think. I won’t stand it.”

Elmer Cowley ran out of the woods leaving the half-wit sitting on the log before the fire. Presently the old man arose and climbing over the fence went back to his work in the corn. “I’ll be washed and ironed and starched,” he declared. “Well, well, I’ll be washed and ironed.” Mook was interested. He went along a lane to a field where two cows stood nibbling at a straw stack. “Elmer was here,” he said to the cows. “Elmer is crazy. You better get behind the stack where he don’t see you. He’ll hurt someone yet, Elmer will.”

At eight o’clock that evening Elmer Cowley put his head in at the front door of the office of the Winesburg Eagle where George Willard sat writing. His cap was pulled down over his eyes and a sullen determined look was on his face. “You come on outside with me,” he said, stepping in and closing the door. He kept his hand on the knob as though prepared to resist anyone else coming in. “You just come along outside. I want to see you.”

George Willard and Elmer Cowley walked through the main street of Winesburg. The night was cold and George Willard had on a new overcoat and looked very spruce and dressed up. He thrust his hands into the overcoat pockets and looked inquiringly at his companion. He had long been wanting to make friends with the young merchant and find out what was in his mind. Now he thought he saw a chance and was delighted. “I wonder what he’s up to? Perhaps he thinks he has a piece of news for the paper. It can’t be a fire because I haven’t heard the fire bell and there isn’t anyone running,” he thought.

In the main street of Winesburg, on the cold November evening, but few citizens appeared and these hurried along bent on getting to the stove at the back of some store. The windows of the stores were frosted and the wind rattled the tin sign that hung over the entrance to the stairway leading to Doctor Welling’s office. Before Hern’s Grocery a basket of apples and a rack filled with new brooms stood on the sidewalk. Elmer Cowley stopped and stood facing George Willard. He tried to talk and his arms began to pump up and down. His face worked spasmodically. He seemed about to shout. “Oh, you go on back,” he cried. “Don’t stay out here with me. I ain’t got anything to tell you. I don’t want to see you at all.”

For three hours the distracted young merchant wandered through the resident streets of Winesburg blind with anger, brought on by his failure to declare his determination not to be queer. Bitterly the sense of defeat settled upon him and he wanted to weep. After the hours of futile sputtering at nothingness that had occupied the afternoon and his failure in the presence of the young reporter, he thought he could see no hope of a future for himself.

And then a new idea dawned for him. In the darkness that surrounded him he began to see a light. Going to the now darkened store, where Cowley & Son had for over a year waited vainly for trade to come, he crept stealthily in and felt about in a barrel that stood by the stove at the rear. In the barrel beneath shavings lay a tin box containing Cowley & Son’s cash. Every evening Ebenezer Cowley put the box in the barrel when he closed the store and went upstairs to bed. “They wouldn’t never think of a careless place like that,” he told himself, thinking of robbers.

Elmer took twenty dollars, two ten-dollar bills, from the little roll containing perhaps four hundred dollars, the cash left from the sale of the farm. Then replacing the box beneath the shavings he went quietly out at the front door and walked again in the streets.

The idea that he thought might put an end to all of his unhappiness was very simple. “I will get out of here, run away from home,” he told himself. He knew that a local freight train passed through Winesburg at midnight and went on to Cleveland, where it arrived at dawn. He would steal a ride on the local and when he got to Cleveland would lose himself in the crowds there. He would get work in some shop and become friends with the other workmen and would be indistinguishable. Then he could talk and laugh. He would no longer