Death of a Duchess, Nellie Steele [non fiction books to read .txt] 📗

“No,” I retorted. “No, she does not strike me as dangerous.”

“Lenora!” Robert shouted. “She has destroyed your tower room on multiple occasions and she nearly killed you! I shall not take a chance with your life or Samuel’s!”

Ella gasped at the admission. I released her hand, wrapping my arm around her shoulder for comfort. “Robert,” I responded. “It matters not if I leave. That will not solve the situation. Annie will continue to lurk in these halls, suffering as she does now. The only resolution for both her and the rest of us is for me to stay and continue my inquiries with her.”

Robert paced the floor in front of me. He held his jaw taut. After a time, he shook his head but acquiesced. “I detest this, Lenora, but I shall accept it. Though perhaps it is prudent to remove Samuel from the castle until you have solved this.”

“No!” I cried. “I shall not be separated from Samuel!” Robert raised his eyebrows at me, prepared to retort. Before he could, I continued. “You do not trust Annie, I realize that. But I hold firm to my conviction that she meant Samuel no harm!”

“Are you willing to bet the child’s life on it?”

I sighed, abhorring the way the statement sounded. “I do not believe I am risking his life.”

“What if you are incorrect?” Robert posed.

“If his life is under even the slightest threat, I shall remove him myself.”

“You cannot guard him all day and night, Lenora. You must sleep.”

“No, I cannot. However, we shall monitor him at all times. While I sleep, someone else may oversee him.”

“None of us can perceive Anne’s presence,” Robert argued.

“No, but you are capable of perceiving harm to the child or the threat of harm, even if from an unseen force.” Robert considered the statement. “Robert, we must end this. We must continue on the path for all our sakes.”

“All right,” Robert agreed. “All right. I despise the entire situation, but we shall keep on.”

I nodded and glanced to Ella. “Sinclair? Have you the spirit to remain in this house as we work toward solving this?”

She sucked in a deep breath. After a moment, she nodded slowly. “Yes,” she whispered, clutching my hand again. She nodded, sitting straighter. “Yes, Your Grace. I possess the fortitude to help you see this through. I will guard the child when you sleep.”

“We shall take shifts,” Robert suggested. “If you will take the first part of the night, I shall take the second.”

We agreed upon a schedule and with that, disbanded. I remained in my room to nurse Samuel. His blue eyes flitted about his surroundings before settling on me as I fed him. I stared down at him, worry filling me for a moment. “Darling boy,” I whispered to him, kissing his forehead. “I do hope I have not chosen poorly. If anything should happen to you… never mind.” I could not finish the original statement. I convinced myself Annie’s intentions toward Samuel were innocuous.

Chapter 19

As I cuddled Samuel in my arms, my mind turned to thoughts of my own mother. I tried to push them aside and focus my energy on Samuel but, like floodwaters, they rushed through my brain, overflowing any barriers I placed before them.

I stared at the now-sleeping baby. Already he had carved out his own space in my heart. In addition to the sentiments of responsibility and obligation, I felt a tenderness toward him. The simple word ‘love’ did not cover the enormity of what I experienced. I felt a strong attachment and the urge to protect and care for him. The concept of being separated from Samuel dismayed me. I could not imagine anything that would make me feel otherwise toward him.

I pondered over my emotions, wondering if they, perhaps, were intensified because of my grief over losing Tilly. Perhaps this would explain how a mother could leave her child. Had my mother not experienced these emotions? What did she experience, I wondered, when she held me in her arms as a newborn babe? Were her feelings different from mine? Or did they change as I aged? Would mine evolve in a similar manner?

Questions raced through my mind as I rocked Samuel to sleep. My thoughts settled on a conversation overheard between my mother and an acquaintance days before she left me at the convent. I had always considered it my undoing, though I suppose the problem began long before that conversation.

My mind wound through the memories of my sixth year on earth, the year that would change my life. In the spring before my sixth birthday, my father and mother spent an extensive amount of time shouting at each other. I did not understand the source of their argument. I only knew that their voices often passed through the walls of our home. I would listen to them after my bedtime, voices raised in an argument that would last for hours on some nights.

During the summer, my father departed for India. As a doctor, he traveled for the Crown to provide medical care to British citizens living abroad. On the day of his departure, he sat me on his lap and told me of an exotic land where he would spend two years. “Why must you leave?” I questioned. “Why are you not taking Mum and me?”

He stroked my hair. “It is very different there, Lenora. I shall go first and if it is suitable, I shall return for you and your mother,” he promised.

After we concluded our talk, he set me down and proceeded to gather his belongings. My mother sobbed, begging him not to go. “Please,” she cried, “please do not leave.”

“Helen,” he answered, grasping my mother’s shoulders, “pull yourself together.”

“Please,” she whispered again, tears rolling down her cheeks.

My father released his grip on her, pulled on his jacket and donned his hat. He grasped his traveling bag in his hand and exited into the outside air toward the waiting carriage. My mother raced after him.

“Please,