R.U.R., Karel Čapek [best classic romance novels .txt] 📗

epub:type="z3998:persona">Domin Do you mind if I do? Helena Certainly not. Busman Well, now, Miss Glory, it is certainly nice to have you with us. Helena Seriously. But you know I’ve come to disturb your Robots for you. Busman pulls chair closer. Domin Mocking her serious tone. My dear Miss Glory⁠—chuckle⁠—we’ve had close upon a hundred saviors and prophets here. Every ship brings us some. Missionaries, Anarchists, Salvation Army, all sorts! It’s astonishing what a number of churches and idiots there are in the world. Helena And yet you let them speak to the Robots. Domin So far we’ve let them all. Why not? The Robot remembers everything but that’s all. They don’t even laugh at what the people say. Really it’s quite incredible. Helena I’m a stupid girl. Send me back by the first ship. Dr. Gall Not for anything in the world, Miss Glory. Why should we send you back? Domin If it would amuse you, Miss Glory, I’ll take you down to the Robot warehouse. It holds about three hundred thousand of them. Busman Three hundred and forty-seven thousand. Domin Good, and you can say whatever you like to them. You can read the Bible, recite the multiplication table, whatever you please. You can even preach to them about human rights. Helena Oh, I think that if you were to show them a little love. Fabry Impossible, Miss Glory! Nothing is harder to like than a Robot. Helena What do you make them for, then? Busman Ha, ha, ha! That’s good. What are Robots made for? Fabry For work, Miss Glory. One Robot can replace two and a half workmen. The human machine, Miss Glory, was terribly imperfect. It had to be removed sooner or later. Busman It was too expensive. Fabry It was not effective. It no longer answers the requirements of modern engineering. Nature has no idea of keeping pace with modern labor. For example, from a technical point of view, the whole of childhood is a sheer absurdity. So much time lost. And then again⁠— Helena Turns to Domin. Oh, no, no! Fabry Pardon me. What is the real aim of your League⁠—the⁠—the Humanity League? Helena Its real purpose is to⁠—to protect the Robots⁠—and⁠—and to insure good treatment for them. Fabry Not a bad object, either. A machine has to be treated properly. Leans back. I don’t like damaged articles. Please, Miss Glory, enroll us all members of your league. “Yes, yes!” from all Men. Helena No, you don’t understand me. What we really want is to⁠—to⁠—liberate the Robots. Looks at all Others. Hallemeier How do you propose to do that? Helena They are to be⁠—to be dealt with like human beings. Hallemeier Aha! I suppose they’re to vote. To drink beer. To order us about? Helena Why shouldn’t they drink beer? Hallemeier Perhaps they’re even to receive wages? Looking at other Men, amused. Helena Of course they are. Hallemeier Fancy that! Now! And what would they do with their wages, pray? Helena They would buy⁠—what they want⁠—what pleases them. Hallemeier That would be very nice, Miss Glory, only there’s nothing that does please the Robots. Good heavens, what are they to buy? You can feed them on pineapples, straw, whatever you like. It’s all the same to them. They’ve no appetite at all. They’ve no interest in anything. Why, hang it all, nobody’s ever yet seen a Robot smile. Helena Why⁠—why don’t you make them⁠—happier? Hallemeier That wouldn’t do, Miss Glory. They are only workmen. Helena Oh, but they’re so intelligent. Hallemeier Confoundedly so, but they’re nothing else. They’ve no will of their own. No soul. No passion. Helena No love? Hallemeier Love? Huh! Rather not. Robots don’t love. Not even themselves. Helena No defiance? Hallemeier Defiance? I don’t know. Only rarely, from time to time. Helena What happens then? Hallemeier Nothing particular. Occasionally they seem to go off their heads. Something like epilepsy, you know. It’s called “Robot’s Cramp.” They’ll suddenly sling down everything they’re holding, stand still, gnash their teeth⁠—and then they have to go into the stamping-mill. It’s evidently some breakdown in the mechanism. Domin Sitting on desk. A flaw in the works that has to be removed. Helena No, no, that’s the soul. Fabry Humorously. Do you think that the soul first shows itself by a gnashing of teeth? Men chuckle. Helena Perhaps it’s just a sign that there’s a struggle within. Perhaps it’s a sort of revolt. Oh, if you could infuse them with it. Domin That’ll be remedied, Miss Glory. Doctor Gall is just making some experiments. Dr. Gall Not with regard to that, Domin. At present I am making pain nerves. Helena Pain nerves? Dr. Gall Yes, the Robots feel practically no bodily pain. You see, young Rossum provided them with too limited a nervous system. We must introduce suffering. Helena Why do you want to cause them pain? Dr. Gall For industrial reasons, Miss Glory. Sometimes a Robot does damage to himself because it doesn’t hurt him. He puts his hand into the machine⁠—describes with gesture⁠—breaks his finger⁠—describes with gesture⁠—smashes his head. It’s all the same to him. We must provide them with pain. That’s an automatic protection against damage. Helena Will they be happier when they feel pain? Dr. Gall On the contrary; but they will be more perfect from a technical point of view. Helena Why don’t you create a soul for them? Dr. Gall That’s not in our power. Fabry That’s not in our interest. Busman That would increase the cost of production. Hang it all, my dear young lady, we turn them out at such a cheap rate⁠—a hundred and fifty dollars each, fully dressed, and fifteen years ago they cost ten thousand. Five years ago we used to buy the clothes for them. Today we have our own weaving mill, and now we even export cloth five times cheaper than other factories. What do you pay a yard for cloth, Miss Glory? Helena Looking at Domin. I don’t really know. I’ve forgotten. Busman Good gracious, and you want to found a Humanity League. Men chuckle. It only costs a third now, Miss Glory. All prices are today a third of what they were and they’ll fall still lower, lower, like that. Helena I don’t understand.