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mirror and don’t let go of me.” He holds one hand in a steel grip and I concentrate as hard as I can, pushing on the mirror with my other hand next to his.

His face is shadowy in the reflection, and he’s squeezing my other hand so hard it should hurt. Instead, I cling to it.

The other two men burst into the room a moment later, and I catch a glimpse of their startled faces in the mirror. They’ve brought light with them—a makeshift torch—and it’s all we need.

Finn calls my name to get me to look at my reflection instead of theirs, and a heartbeat later, we are through.

We’re back in the glitter world, in my bedroom.

I sink into the sparkling fuchsia carpet, putting my face into it, and I begin to cry, in great heaving sobs. I cannot stop shaking. I feel Finn turn me over gently, rolling me into his arms as he lies on the carpet next to me. He lets me get it all out, rocking me slightly as his arms tighten around me.

“Did they … hurt you? Are you all right?”

“All right?” I say incredulously. “I could have died! And so could you!”

“You’re safe, Jessa,” he reassures me. “Safe now.”

“How did you get to me?” I ask, then I shudder, hard.

“Mario. I was meeting with Rudy, trying to get his help, when Mario interrupted us.”

I set my head against his chest, and I cannot move. I am indescribably tired. The relief flooding through me is like anesthesia, and I feel like I could close my eyes and be unconscious without any effort at all.

He smooths my hair, pulling my head back a little so he can look me in the eyes. I bring my hand up to self-consciously cover my nose and mouth. I have rivers of snot running down my face.

“I have to blow my nose,” I say.

“I’ve got it.” He pulls away and gets to his feet, walking over to my nightstand and pulling two fluorescent tissues out of the gilded box next to my lamp. He kneels down, handing them to me, and I sit up, doing my best to clean myself off.

I stuff my head tiredly into my hands. “Oh God, Finn.” I look up at him. “This is how you lived?”

His eyes shift down to look at the carpet. “Yes.”

“Is that”—I can barely bring myself to ask it, but I have to know—“is that how I died? Someone like them?”

Finn’s eyes lock with mine, and they are so haunted, I feel like I can’t breathe. “There were six of them, and they had you surrounded. They would have killed us both, but you would have taken a lot longer.” His jaw is tight, and it takes a second for him to finish. “I managed to get my knife in your chest and ended it quick.”

I look into his green, green eyes. “Am I the reason you stayed—over there? Even when you had it in your power to shift and get out of there?”

“Yes. I had no idea you were a Traveler, too, not then. You weren’t aware yet.”

“So you stayed around to protect me.”

“Yes,” he says, twisting a lock of my hair around his finger. “For all the good it did you. I ended up killing you anyway.”

“You saved me from being tortured to death.” My voice is surprisingly strong. I can’t stress enough to him that there’s a difference here.

“I know. But it was still my hand that threw that knife.”

“If we hadn’t been able to get away this time, would you have done it again?”

He swallows hard. “Probably. I don’t know.”

How weird is it to know how much someone cares about you by the way they’re willing to kill you first? And I suppose it’s equally weird that I would have done the same for him.

His hand comes up to cup my face, and I feel his thumb gently stroking my jaw.

“All I know,” he says, and his eyes are burning bright, warming me and chasing all the cold away, “is that no matter how many times I lose you, I can’t seem to let you go.”

Then his mouth comes down to meet mine, and the warmth bursts into flame inside me, stealing my breath and curling my fingers into the front of his shirt. He pulls away slowly, kissing the tip of my nose, then my forehead.

“I’ll keep you safe, Jessa,” he promises. “Anywhere you go.”

“I want to go home, Finn,” I finally say. “All the way home.”

39

Torn

After transferring back to my deaf self—which didn’t take long, since glitter me really wanted to get home—I put in a call to my deaf counterpart, and she answered almost instantly. It occurs to me that as hard as it is, she likely misses her life as much as I miss mine. Finn and I arrive in the bedroom of my reality and it’s Sunday morning.

I turn away from the mirror with a huge sigh of relief.

“I know this body had a good night’s sleep last night, but I still feel exhausted.”

Finn pulls me in close, wrapping his arms around me. “You’ve been through a traumatic experience,” he says. “It’s a perfectly normal reaction.”

“I need to get a grip on myself.”

His hand comes up to slide around the back of my neck. “I’ve got you,” he says, and once again, his lips are on mine.

My hands slide up over his shoulders and time slows to a crawl. There’s only him and me and the absolute rightness of the feel of him against me.

He pulls back and gives me a smug little grin. “Tell me the truth,” he says. “Am I a better kisser than the pirate?”

I give him a wide-eyed, innocent smile in return, choosing my words carefully.

“Nobody kisses like you, Finn,” I reply.

He rolls his eyes and pulls me in, kissing me again, and I’m losing myself in it—that is, until my bedroom door opens.

There stands Ben, right behind Danny. I give a squeak and hastily step out

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