A Fierce Archer (Clan Ross Book 6), Hildie McQueen [most popular ebook readers TXT] 📗

“That will not do at all,” Esme said, plopping down on a chair next to her. “The color is horrible.”

Catriona had been attempting to sketch but, in truth, her heart and mind were elsewhere.

“I think it matches the view perfectly.” She was drawing the window, dark curtains pulled aside, fabric pooling onto the floor.

Esme sniffed. “I suppose the view is dreary.”

Despite the sadness that pooled inside, Catriona managed a smile. “Ye do not like my taste in décor then?”

“I do,” Esme began. “But not in this room.”

They were in a small guest room, which is where Esme had directed she be brought from the episode in the garden. A small space would not be as jarring for her when in a fragile state. And although Catriona agreed, now she wondered if it would have been better to return to her own chambers.

“I am going to move to another bedchamber tonight, a larger one. I wish to speak to Ewan.”

For the last few days, he’d asked to speak to her, and she’d not been willing, considering her husband did not love her and had no interest in her other than her duties as wife. Some of her duties anyway. Those that did not include intimacy.

Esme gave her a concerned look. “There is something I must tell ye.”

There was no reaction in her mind or body. Catriona had stopped caring again. “What is it?”

“Ruari told Ewan that ye are coming to live with us,” Esme said, holding her chin up a notch. “I agree with him. It would help in yer recuperation.”

“I do not agree.”

“Ye must,” Esme replied. “It may be for the best.”

Considering all the plans she’d had for her new home, Catriona wondered what would happen if she left. “This is my home, Esme. I may be in a loveless marriage, but I took vows, and it is my duty as Lady Ross to complete my tasks. Many couples live separate lives in the same home. I will survive well enough. This episode...well, it was bound to happen.”

Moments later, after a rap on the door, Ewan entered.

She’d not seen him looking so poorly since he’d been injured and she’d nursed him to health. His jaw was bearded, there were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was uncombed. She paused for a moment, taking in his rumpled clothing.

“May I sit?” he asked, nearing hesitantly.

Catriona motioned to a chair. “Of course.”

He reached for her hand, but then pulled back. “I am sorry. So very sorry for what I caused.”

“Ye did not cause it, Ewan. It was inevitable. We both know what I’ve been through. Yer attentions caught me off guard and brought it on, but that is not yer fault.”

“It is,” he insisted. “For the way in which I’ve been treating ye. So distant. To suddenly thrust myself upon ye had to be...jarring.”

Past the window, a flock of birds flew by, their wings in symphony, communicating with steady chirps. The day had become cloudy. Catriona wasn’t sure if it was afternoon or evening. When one stayed in one place too long, it became harder to tell the passing of time.

“Do ye wish me to go with Esme? To live there? That way, ye do not have to work so hard to avoid me.”

Silence was followed by the sounds of footsteps in the hallway. Servants hurried past as they went to start preparations for whatever mealtime it was.

“That is precisely what I wish to speak to ye about.” There was sadness in his gaze. “I have been a bloody fool.”

A question was on the tip of her tongue, but Catriona refrained and, instead, waited for him to continue.

“I have kept my distance because of fear and because of my foolish actions. I have caused ye and our marriage so much harm.” This time, he did take her hand in his. “Do not leave me.”

Catriona closed her eyes, hating the loss of the bond they’d once shared. “If I remain, I wish to move into another bedchamber. I do not wish to leave ye. I have duties, responsibilities here.”

“Will ye stay in our bedchamber for a few days. Give me an opportunity to gain yer trust again?”

She’d been missing their comradery, the way she felt secure and comforted when he was with her. Was it still there?

Catriona stood. “Hug me.” The words sounded hollow because, in truth, she didn’t expect to feel anything. “I wish to see what I feel when ye do.”

Her husband was hesitant, and she almost told him to forget it, but then he spoke. “I haven’t bathed. Ye may be repelled.”

Opening her arms, she waited for him to close the distance between them. Ewan came then, pulled her into his arms and held her tightly against him.

At once, the sensation of safety enveloped her. She clung to him and put her ear to his chest, listening to the steady beats of his heart. Everything seemed right in that moment. It was as if nothing could harm her, nothing could penetrate the invisible safety.

“I love ye, Catriona.”

The hoarse words echoed against the ear she had to his chest. Catriona held her breath, unable to fathom that what he spoke was real or sincere for that matter.

“What?”

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I love ye and I have been foolish in my attempts to keep it locked inside. I fear the pain of being rejected, of what happened in the past. But I have to be a man about it. I have to admit the truth and let what happens from now on come as it may.”

It was not the most romantic declaration of love. That he declared his fear along with it, though, made it sincere and heartfelt.

“Ye should not fear,” Catriona said. “I would